For all of the times we hoped and dreamed way-too-gorgeous runway models would just…get axed up and trot around on stage flashing war wounds on their not-so-perfect-anymore bodies, John Galliano, a seemingly post-apocalypse obsessed fashion designer, has just made those dreams come true in Paris.

The only problem with the execution of this odd fantasy is that the models were all male. Apparently, looking like you just got your ass kicked by whatever doom 2012 holds for the world isn’t a very IN look for the gals.

Some of Galliano’s designs were undeniably costumes–not anything any guy would ever wear…unless he’s battling something awful in Lord of The Rings. However, surprisingly, some of the jeans, shirts, and sweaters were actually not just OK, but pretty badass.

The designs are grim, much like Galliano’s presentation of them. But who doesn’t like a little bit of DUNGEON in their wardrobe?

It’s unfortunate that his designs were masked by, well, actual masks (amongst other things), but had it not been for his zombie model parade, I never would have recognized this very embarrassing truth about myself:

Even with gauze and blood and death and doom all over his face (and a noose on his neck), I’d still bone a model looking like he just drove a motorcycle off of a cliff.

And to think, I once had standards.