The MTV Movie Awards. No other awards show makes me cringe as much as this one. And no, it’s not just the awkward “realness” attempted by everyone from the hosts to the stars (Kim Stolz never seemed this wooden on ANTM…) Typically, the MTV Movie Awards is where fashion goes to explode and then die. Sometimes, celebrities get it right, but mostly, explosion and death.

Here are some of the good, bad, and just plan horrible fashions from last night.

As we see from this photo, Heidi Montag has finally completed her transformation from human to the blond, big boobed, skinny hooker robot she always wanted to be. And Spencer, her giant-faced pimp, standing weirdly over her in an expression of faux-love. Everything seems about right here.

Ms. LiLo in her typical out-and-about outfit: short skirt, high shoes, and self satisfied smile that says somehow I’m still famous. Love me.

Coldplay. Good to see you’re into recycling old fabrics; tying them around your arms to aid you in the transportation process back to Linens-N-Things is very ingenious. The piercing yet dead eyes are also ingenious. You guys are just…ingenious.

Jennifer Hudson. I like this outfit. In the way I’d like an oufit that was sure to piss my mom off if she saw me sneaking out of the house in 10th grade. Just enough bra. Yup. Just enough bright pink bra.

Now, I don’t know a lot about fashion, but I know enough to know two things: 1) those shoes do NOT go with that hideous dress, and 2) that dress is hideous. Pink lingerie meets emo prom. Megan, you’re too hot for this. Seriously.

It seems like Anne Hathaway and I share a common love. The love of wrapping ourselves in leather.

Tila Tequila. Good to see they let her in — but not without her prerequisite almost-boob-flashing outfit. Had that dress been pulled up a little higher, she might have almost looked…nice.

Usually, I have a lot of stuff to say about SJP and her weirdo outfits, but this one…I actually kind of like it. Just to check, I washed my eyes out with soap, and looked at the picture a second time…and still. I like it. Wonders never freaking cease, I guess.

One person I was sadly unable to find a picture of was Johnny Depp. Holy dark jeans was he hot last night. Hot, soft-spoken, looking completely out of place in a theater that housed Paris Hilton and the Pussycat Dolls…oh Johnny, please elope wth me. You can even wear your eyeliner.

[Any more fashion faux pas that we missed? Was the Movie Awards itself kinda boring to anyone else? Let us know!!]