I’ll be honest; before the Olympics started last week, I didn’t think much of Michael Phelps. I knew he was some amazing swimmer, but who cares about swimming, anyway? In the U.S. it is all about football, baseball and fried foods, baby. And all those people talking about how super duper sexy he was? Yeah, I just didn’t agree.

But then the games began (and Michael put on a swim cap/Speedo) and I began to see what everyone else was talking about. I mean - this guy was looking good. Really good. Like, “I kinda sorta (read: totally) wanna do him” good. He is pretty much as close to perfect as any man can get.

Don’t agree? Here are 5 Reasons Why I Want to Do The Breast Stroke (see how I made a swimming term into something sexual? Yeah, I’m that good) With Michael Phelps:

He’s Got Moves: Maybe it’s just me, but when I watch Phelps dive off the platform and do that little mermaid move….well, I can only think dirty, naughty things. He knows how to use his body well and I have a feeling that little move would work wonders both in and out of the pool.

He Loves His Mama: There is nothing more attractive than a guy who loves his mother. Not only is that the sweetest thing ever, but it means is going to respect you and treat you well, too. Read More »

Dudes prefer a size 10

Really? He’s still alive? I could have sworn he was long gone. …Or maybe I was just wishing.

Cheap drugs in Mexico? Not anymore

Screetch to write a Tell All. Seriously.

Straight up weird: identical everything.

The Billionaires want you to STOP SMOKING

Jason’s baaacck!

…And so is Freddy (Which means both my toolshed and my dreams are no longer safe)

Dana Scully kicks ass

50 Cent don’t play, Taco Bell!

Oh man, Zac Efron…how is this helping the gay rumors?

You know how it is; you’re in the gym and, even though you’ve forgotten your iPod, the radio station that’s playing has a pretty good range of songs and you have a good beat going. Or maybe you’re in the car, driving along and blasting the stereo as high as it can go. Or maybe you’re not even moving. Maybe you’re just chilling in your room. But, inevitably, that one song some comes on.

You know precisely what I mean. THAT song. That song that you just can’t stand. That song that makes you want to storm out the room or change the station or maybe even kick the stereo system. It’s like nails on a chalkboard, and all you want is for it to end. Yet, you know all the words, even though you hate admitting that to yourself. Somewhere in the deep recesses of your brain – and you would never admit this to anybody – you want to sing along.

Everyone has their own flame list. This is mine.

10. Warrant - “Cherry Pie“: Why is a song about pedophilia and incest so popular? Why is it a classic? Why is the video so creepy? Why am I so awesome at this song on Guitar Hero? Questions that may never be answered.

9. Timbaland (feat. One Republic) - “Apologize“: This title is misleading, because the word “apologize” never once comes into the song. “Pologize” does come into the chorus pretty often. I think it may be a synonym for self-pollinating your garden. Read More »

Leave Britney alone!

No? You don’t want to either? Like the majority of America, I watched the Video Music Awards for one thing and one thing only: Britney’s comeback.

Criss Angel was going to help her walk though mirrors. Maybe there’d be smoke. A snake? High wires? Explosions! Something big.

At 9:00 pm on the dot I ran out of the shower and sat in front of the TV like a little kid on Saturday morning, eagerly awaiting one of the “biggest comebacks in decades”.

And then, we all know what happened.

I don’t know a lot about dancing, but I know that when you start off your routine looking like an awkward 7th grader at their first boy/girl dance, something is wrong. I also know almost falling over in your shoes and needing your dancers to help you up and down steps is something my grandma does (except my grandma doesn’t use dancers…that would be excessive).

50 Cent seemed confused, Rihanna laughed her ass off, and Mindfreak Moron was nowhere to be found. There was no smoke, no theme, and not even a good costume (you’ve had two kids, girl. Give those sequined undies a rest). Read More »

For those of you halfway through your first school week, relaxing with a cold one may not be the first thing on your mind. But why not? It’s Hump Day! Celebrate your first (half) week back with a little get together!

Everyone knows that a party is not complete without a decent mix of pump-up songs. Besides, who doesn’t enjoy chugging your beers to a bumpin’ beat? It’s important for every college lady to know the best tunes to guide you along the beautiful road to tipsy:

Fiddy & JT: She Wants It (Ayo Technology)
Justin’s always a no-fail, but make sure to resist the drunken lap dance. You’ll always manage to feel a lot hotter than you actually look, bumping and grinding and simultaneously knocking over your roommate’s laptop. (Oops.) Read More »

Ah, lists of hot men in Hollywood. I can’t say I’ll ever get sick of seeing who makes the cut. Which is why I was totally excited when I saw that AOL Music too partakes in the whole ranking of hottest, but exclusively with single male musicians: “Music’s Sexiest Single Men.”

Guys who can sing and play the guitar … need I say more.

Obvious guys were selected, like Justin Timberlake (my future husband), Jared Leto, Kenny Chesney and Bow Wow (what? he’s turned into a really nice piece of young man). But then there are the questionable few — Lance Bass? Josh Groban? Dave Navarro? They’re definitely not my idea of “sexy.”

Check out the rest of these dudes.

Photos after the jump Read More »