It might go against Scientology to record my thoughts but my thetan level is low enough that it might not matter until later, when I may become a master of the universe. I have to guess what the levels are called since Tom says that I’m not high enough in the order yet to know - much of anything.
While he is spending his time channeling L. Ron, I have tried to find the meaning of life in the temple of Barney’s. Did I say that? Because I didn’t mean it, in case you’re reading this my Scientology handlers. I meant that I just enjoy shopping. Because my life is so empty. By empty I mean FULL, though, it’s full of - shopping bags and hair cuts and love for L. Ron.
As first lady of Scientology, I must hold it together at all times and no one knows the pressure that I’m under. Not only am I a fashion icon, I am an important actress and a vessel for scientology’s future. Even if I don’t have sex with Tom.
I must stop writing now. Tom is calling me and it’s time for my auditing, to free myself from the traumatic incidents of my life. Like my marriage. He worries when I start thinking or having friends, even ones as vapid as Posh.
Vapid. I love that word. I used words like that when I was living in Capeside. Oh, how I miss Dawson. He always knew me better than anyone else. I don’t wanna wait for my life to be over, I want to know right now what will it be… Dawson, I’ll leave my window open for you - please come.
Oh, no, Tom’s here. American Express, take me away…




Men have always ruled the comedy scene. From dynamic duos such as
I have a subscription to 


“It’s hard to wrap my head around,”
• A pair of married strippers are the latest predators to get
I for one did not see this one coming.
Every girl knows that unless you’re some kind of anomaly and super okay with every inch of your body, the idea of being scrutinized in a bathing suit is a thought horrifying enough to keep most of us in sweats forever.