When last night’s episode of Gossip Girl opened with a spoofy Eliza Doolittle dream sequence, I wanted to throw up in my mouth. However, what unraveled over the next 42 minutes (not including commercial breaks) was one of the juiciest, drama-filled, completely-untrue-to-high-school-life episodes of the season.

I freaking loved it.

All of our favorite Upper East Siders are getting ready for college. Which makes me think: my alcoholism peaked in college in a Keystone-Dubra-Keg Party blur. These “high schoolers” drink martinis for breakfast. What will happen to them after graduation?

So, obviously the GG writers have to come up with an elaborate scheme to get everyone to Yale for College Admissions Day. What better way to do so than by having Blair slam Serena, and Serena fight back by flaunting her hot Blake Lively self for the Dean of Admissions? You know something’s gonna go down when the kids’ Headmaster advises them to “present yourselves in the best possible light.” Yeah, right.

To put it in a nutshell: Chuck wants to join a secret society. Nate’s dad has a bad rap at Yale, so Nate pretends to be none other than Dan Humphrey in order to shack up with a collegiate hottie (Ladies– would you EVER shack up with a high school boy on a school tour? To answer my own question, I guess I’ve never seen a minor who looks like Chace Crawford…). Oh, and did I mention that Yale has decided to change it’s “stuffy” image, hence the interest in Socialite Serena? More on what I DID NOT find believable later.

In typical Chuck Bass fashion, blindfolded, non-English-speaking prostitutes show up in threes to *cough* impress the members of the secret society Chuckie so desperately wants to join, but what these guys really want is a piece of Nate Archibald. Hmmm. So Chuck sets up poor Lonely Boy to get beaten and tied, half-naked, to a gazebo. (Editor’s Note: Is tying a skinny kid in his boxers to a statue really the best a secret society can do?) Where was this when I was scoping out potential unis? Read More »

The University Experience sure has changed. It’s now normal to take longer than four years to complete your degree; students are known to switch majors repeatedly (and often at the last minute); and transfer admissions offices are swamped with applicants who realize that the college they chose senior year of high school just isn’t making the grade.

I know all about the stress of transferring and adjusting to a new school. When I began my undergraduate career, I wasn’t content with attending the state university that 83% of my classmates were enrolling in. Oh, no - I had to get away. So I enrolled in a small private school in London, England.

My freshman year was a blast– I was in a major city, surrounded by hot men with hotter accents, and I didn’t even need a fake ID. But eventually, reality sank in, and I opted to transfer back to the same state school that I’d once adamantly rejected in order to prevent graduating with student loans up the wazoo.

My first semester at the state university was miserable. I’d missed out on all of the freshman year bonding, got stuck with a lame random roommate, and when I did go out, it was because one of my high school friends was kind enough to let me tag along with her group. It was so bad that I took a semester off to figure out if I wanted to go through the transfer process again. I ended up going back to the state school, and - thankfully - things got better. In fact, college kicked some major ass.

So, having been on the Maybe-I-Should-Transfer fence and a member of the Transfer Students Association, I thought I’d share some pro’s and cons with anyone who isn’t quite sure that they are attending the right school. Read More »

In high school I kept busy. I took dance classes four days a week, was a member (and eventually editor) of my high school yearbook, served on the regional board for my youth group, took numerous AP classes, tutored at the middle school and worked long into the night to keep up my GPA.

Looking back, I don’t know how I did it all without serious drugs; I was crazy. But, at the time, I knew exactly what I had to do to set myself apart from everyone else in my class in order to get into my first choice college.

I know I wasn’t alone alone. I’m sure there are many people reading this right now and thinking, “Yup. Same story for me…except I was also on the tennis and softball teams!” We all did what we had to do. With more kids applying to college than ever before, the competition was fierce; what other choice did we have?

Then there were the unfortunate ladies (and I know there are lots of you) that are reading this and thinking to themselves, “That is all you did? I was also class president and helped the starving children in Somalia and still didn’t get into my #1!”

I feel for you guys, I really do. And if you happen to be one of those bitter students who did all that work and was forced to go to your second choice school, stop reading now because you are going to get pissed. Read More »

I pored over the U.S. News and World Report’s college rankings when I was a senior in high school. How far up could I go, I wondered? What was the most-highly ranked college I could get into?

I mean, I knew I was Harvard-caliber, I just didn’t have the grades– I was above grades! I could have totally gone Ivy-League if I had wanted to, but I chose the route of a small school with a philosophy, a mission (and a respectable ranking).

My freshman year, I ended up at a small liberal arts school that was ranked #30. Not bad, considering it was ranked #25 in terms of selectivity. I figured its teeny endowment brought the main ranking down. I was satisfied, my family was satisfied, my peers were satisfied. I had landed.

But when I got to college, of course, I realized that these rankings meant absolutely nothing. What did I care about my college’s freshman retention or alumni - giving rate? And the insidiously low student to faculty ratio was moot if you were in a crappy class in which none of the other six students talked. I found myself pining for large, anonymous lecture classes. Did I wanted a lower - ranked education?

The old, corny adage rings true over and over again: college is what you make of it. Seriously. All campuses have pretty trees and old buildings. All student bodies have geniuses and idiots. Yale has a dining hall. Podunk University in Mississippi has a dining hall.

And they both have horrible food. It’s all the same. Read More »

Three students at Bard College were arrested earlier this month for toting around a portable drug den.

Apparently, 2 freshmen, along with a sophomore buddy, were moving a bunch of drug paraphernalia in suitcases across campus when they were “spooked” by campus police and freaked out, one of them evidently diving into a bunch of bushes.

After the students were expelled from school, police searched their room and found quite a stash. “Nearly a pound of marijuana, half a kilogram of a partially refined but yet-unidentified hallucinogenic drug, hashish, hashish oil” and the remnants of “a portable drug-processing lab” were confiscated at the scene, causing all three students to rack up felony drug charges. Read More »

Because of my recent discovery that I lack of knowledge of anything that doesn’t involve Britney Spears or Lindsay Lohan, I decided to take a little time to read the New York Times today. Not only did I learn about Barack Obama’s plan for universal health care in the United States, but I also came across an extremely interesting article about college admissions.

According to the article a few universities across the country have begun to change their admittance policies and consider socio-economic status when accepting applicants. Sort of like Affirmative Action but with yearly income instead of racial heritage. Read More »

When I think back to my college search process, I can remember combing through books and magazines that my parents shoved in my face that ranked every aspect of a college from the biggest party school to the average parental income of students. Although I always had my mind set on venturing out of the Midwest and to school in upstate New York, I still enjoyed reading through the miniscule details of schools I had applied to.

Most high school juniors or seniors take a glance at these ratings materials, at least once, in the decision making process. College is a huge, life-changing decision and with tuition constantly increasing, it is so important for everyone involved to make the right choice. For that reason, the information should be completely accurate and credible. Well, it turns out that one ratings system in particular, the U.S. News and World Report, may be a glorified “beauty contest.”

Read More »