Email your old (BUT NOT TOO OLD, DAMMIT!!!) friend Tuffy at asktuffyluv@gmail.com to get answers to your craziest questions. No question is too bizarre or too normal! Ask away! Tuffy’s column runs every other Tuesday.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I have a question that I’ve been trying to solve for months but it just baffles me. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years; he’s really a great guy, but sometimes I just don’t understand him! Like a year and a half ago, we were talking about things we’d like to try in the bedroom. I’m usually the one who is more adventurous so I was trying to encourage HIM to come up with an idea and asked: “Is there anything you’ve really wanted to try but haven’t mentioned because you’re too afraid?” Big mistake.

So, apparently, like every other guy these days it seems, he wants a threesome. However, UNLIKE every other guy… he wants it to be MFM. I was shocked! I mean, what guy actually WANTS that?!? I asked him why on Earth he would want that and he seems to have this idea (I’m sure it came from a porn somewhere, LOL) that it would be amazing for me and he wants to see me pleased. But I don’t want to do it and I’ve told him. I think it’s gross and creepy. But he still seems to think that this would make our otherwise pretty routine sex life (that’s a complaint for another day though) more exciting.

The only problem I see with that story, if he’s so concerned with seeing me pleased, why doesn’t it show in our sex lives? He LOVES being at the receiving end of foreplay, but is rarely on the giving end. He doesn’t like to try new positions and when he finds something that I like, he’ll just do it over and over again until it’s really not that great anymore. I really think that he is self conscious (he still hates being naked around me if we’re not having sex) and afraid that if he tries something new I won’t like it. It’s just frustrating… the only way to get better is PRACTICE! Read More »

Email your old (BUT NOT TOO OLD, DAMMIT!!!) friend Tuffy at asktuffyluv@gmail.com to get answers to your craziest questions. No question is too bizarre or too normal! Ask away! Tuffy’s column runs every other Tuesday.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

This is so random, but my friend was going on and on about this sex position she and her boyfriend tried called “the lotus.” But I looked it up and it looks like it’s a Yoga thing? What’s she talking about? I don’t want to ask and look stupid…

Thanks, Tuf!
Melissa

Dear Melissa,

Oh, Meliss. Can I call you that? Meliss?

Anyway, honey, very good question. There is a yoga position called the lotus, but there’s a totally separate lotus sex position too. The Lotus (sex) position is actually a variation of a less romantic sounding position called “pounding on the spot” (classy, eh?) and it’s an excellent way to enhance your (SAFE!!) sex life. Read More »

Wanna ask your friend Tuffs a question? Email her at asktuffyluv@gmail.com for answers to anything and everything. …punch and pie.

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I recently started dating a boy who is awesome. Compared to my total control freak ex boyfriend who never wanted me to go out and have fun, this new guy is awesome. He’s totally cute and fun to be around, and he’s always up for a good time. Whenever we’re out or just hanging out, his attention is totally on me, he introduces me to everyone, and I’m having a blast.

The thing is, his friends are total pigs. They cheat on their girlfriends almost every nght (I see them walk in and out with random girls…sometimes more than one a night…eww). I know guys are easily influenced by their friends, so I’m wondering if he has the same “whatever” attitude about being with more than one girl. When we’re together it doesn’t seem like that, but lord only knows boys change when they’re around their guy friends. Ugh, I just don’t want to be dragged along thinking I’m the only one with my boy. What do you think?

Love,
Cait Read More »

[Wanna ask Tuffy Luv a question? Shoot her an email at asktuffyluv@gmail.com and get an answer. Tuffy Luv is posted every other Tuesday. So emmmmaiiiiillllll!]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m dating this guy who is really great in (almost) every way. He’s cute, my friends all like him, and he’s a lot of fun to hang out with.

The only thing is, we’ve been going out for almost six months now and he’s never gone down on me. I’ve gone down on him at least ten times.  I asked him what the deal is and he said he “doesn’t like the smell,” not of me, but of all girls.

What do you think?
Deprived Of Oral

Dear Deprived,

I think the boy better suck it up and be a man, that’s what I think. Read More »

I went out with a guy once. On our first date we went to dinner, and things were going so well that when he took me home I invited him in.

At which point he asked me if he could borrow a book while he “dealt with all the dairy” he had just eaten.

True story. And it ended right there; I never called him again.

I have no problem with talking about farts and poop, but I do have a problem doing so on date #1. I just don’t understand why guys feel the need to bring up the bowels when we haven’t even locked lips yet. And then there is the whole double standard; why can he fart in the car and lock the windows but I can’t even mention the fact that I poop without him cringing and curling up in the fetal position?

I asked my guy friends to break it all down for me - apparently farting is a sign of endearment. Read on… Read More »

[Wanna ask Tuffy Luv?! Email her questions! Millions and millions of questions! Shoot your email to asktuffyluv@gmail.com and get that shiz answered!]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I tend to be quick to trust and I need to work on that!

Recently it has come to my attention that one of, to my knowledge, BEST friends was actually talking behind my back to a couple other close friends. I only found this out recently after our friendship had disintegrated due to her never responding to my phone calls and emails after I had moved. I felt so crappy after she stopped responding to me. People around me were shocked because we were tied at the hip and everyone thought we were best friends (yay at least i’m not going crazy!)

Apparently though she found me annoying and couldn’t wait until I moved away so that she could stop hanging out with me.

WOW how high school can you get?! If you didn’t want to hang out with me why didn’t you just say so BEFORE I moved instead of making me look like a JACKASS thinking we were best friends!

Whew. Ok. Sorry. I’m back from my rant. So, anyway, long story short something similar happened to me before with another friend as well (she manipulated me for her own twisted amusement and then dumped me when she was done) and I have a bad feeling it is also happening currently with some close friends I met when I moved (I have a feeling that they are only keeping me around to use me for something but I don’t know what that “something” is yet).

Do you have any tips for me on how to stop being so trusting of other people? Read More »

To get your question answered, email Tuffy at asktuffyluv@gmail.com. Ain’t no question too big or too small–but keep your question down to a paragraph or three tops, yes?

[Confidential to Paulina: Stay away from that loser. He’s obviously still seeing his ex (or at least hooking up with her) and you so don’t need that. Like you said, there never was a friendship–why start one now?]

All right, on with today’s question:

Dear Tuffy Luv,

I’m having a big weird problem with my friend, let’s call her “Kate.” Kate has been my friend since third grade and we hang out with all the same people. I thought we were close.

But I was having coffee with her last week (I’m still in college but she graduated last year) and I noticed she had a ring on her ring finger. When I asked her about it it, she said, “Oh yeah, me and “Jake” eloped.” Tuffy, she’s only been dating Jake for 5 months! Also, she didn’t even tell me it happened! I said, “Oh my god, when did you elope?” And she said, “Like a month ago.”

What the hell?! Was she ever going to tell me? Apparently none of our other friends know. I feel like she totally left me (and our other friends) out of one of the most important parts of her life. I just can’t get over feeling hurt by her. What should I do?

-Elizabeth Read More »

[To ask Tuffy Luv a question, email her at asktuffyluv@gmail.com and check back here for her response. No question is too big or small or weird or dumb! ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE (a response).]

Dear Tuffy Luv,

This is really embarassing, so I hope it’s not weird that I’m asking you.

So over the summer every summer for the last three years I work as a hostess at this restaurant near my house. And every year I’ve been there, there’s been this guy (I’ll call him T) who works there too. I go away to college, but he goes to the junior college nearby so he’s there all year.

Anyway, T and I always flirt all summer and nothing ever really happened (last summer we kissed once but it was at a party and not anything that went anywhere). Except this year, from the first day we saw each other again, it was like BAM–chemistry. So we hooked up a couple of times and it was great.

My problem is, last night, I went over to his place after work and I thought we were just going to hook up like usual, but then–I don’t even know how to say this without being gross, so here it is: he peed on me.

I was totally disgusted, but I was really surprised so I didn’t say anything and we just had sex anyway and then I went home.

What the hell?! Also, have I now given him permission to do it again since I didn’t say anything? Help!!!!!!!!

-I Got Peed On Read More »