I have had, on multiple occasions, the uncomfortable conversation that always ends with the words “I don’t think of you in that way.” I have sat down with many a guy friend to clarify that we’re just friends. I have explained to guys numerous times that I like to keep my friendships and my relationships separate, and that I don’t date my friends. I always mean it when I say it. I always want to stick to it. But the line between friendships and relationships always seems to blur in my confused little world. Why is “I don’t think of you in that way” so hard for me to say?

There have been several occasions this year where I have had to have this conversation. What troubles me the most is that I can’t seem to avoid it. I’m a huge flirt, especially when I’ve had too many whiskey sours, so I can understand why some guys might get the wrong idea and think I’m interested in more than just a shoulder to rest my head on when the room starts to get spinny. But even with guys I don’t get super flirty with, I still have to have the conversation. It’s always approached one of two ways:

The first is a situation in which I have heavily flirted with, or mildly hooked-up with, a guy friend and I have to explain to him that this doesn’t mean we’re meant to settle down, get married, and procreate. The second situation, and the more annoying one because it’s unavoidable is the, “How come we never hooked up?” conversation. Read More »

I seem to move more frequently than most. Even in high school I packed up and spent my summer months on abroad programs, and in college I somehow managed to live in three different cities while only attending one school. In total, I’ve lived in fourteen different places (houses, apartments, and dorms) and I’ve hunted for an apartment three times. I’ve managed to find nice places to live and I’ve never been robbed, stabbed, or beaten in my sleep by an angry roommate, so I think I’ve done well. I’ve decided to pass my wisdom onto all of you who are new to apartment hunting. Here are the usual things you need to look out for when finding a place, and a few unusual things as well.

Where to look – I’ve always found Craigslist to be the most valuable tool when apartment hunting. It’s important to check the site everyday, sometimes even multiple times a day, when you’re in the market for a place to live because the good ones get snatched up. Fast.

What to look for in a housing ad – First of all, do you want to live alone or with roommates? On Craigslist you can search for both, and there are other sites, like roommates.com, that are good. Also, trusty ol’ Facebook can be your friend (no pun intended). The second most important thing is price. Come up with a range, from the lowest you’re willing to spend (to weed out any sketchy ads for apartments with outdoor toilets, etc) and the maximum you can spend. This will keep you from looking longingly at pictures of apartments way out of your income level. And finally, look out for catch phrases: cozy = small, bachelor = no kitchen, 420 friendly = you’ll walk into a haze of pot smoke every time you come home. Read More »

Everyone is so busy talking about a Hillary Clinton VP spot they seem to be forgetting that there are a lot of other great contenders out there who could be Barack Obama’s number two. Considering how nasty the nomination fight got, it’s not hard to imagine a situation in which Obama would pick one of these qualified party members above his ex-nemesis. Check out these top three VP candidates: Read More »

“I always feared there was something wrong with me. You know, because I couldn’t make it [relationships] work. But maybe I’m not supposed to,” Buffy (Sarah Michelle Gellar) explains her decision to stay single in the brilliant last episode of Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. “I’m cookie dough,” she says. “I’m not done baking. I’m not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I’m going to turn out to be.”

After seven seasons of relationships with on-again off-again boyfriends Angel and Spike, show creator Joss Whedon let his heroine ride off into the sunset (or really, run off into the sunset), alone. I remember watching the episode and finding the idea shocking and refreshing. It wasn’t a happily ever after ending, but it also wasn’t a tragic ending; it was completely realistic. The show ends with Buffy at age 22/23, and what girl at that age has relationships all figured out?

I remembered this scene today while I was talking to my friend Rocky* about our friend Veronica’s* current relationship. I was expressing a few things that were bothering me about it, nitpicking at the things that have bothered me when she was in previous relationships and continue to bother me now. Rocky gently reminded me that Veronica doesn’t have it all figured out yet, and she pointed out that neither do I. I’d somehow expected Veronica to learn all that there is to learn about relationships between the one she was in last and the one she is in now, but the only thing that has really changed is that we’re not in college anymore. Read More »

I, an avid meat and ice cream-eater, have been eating vegan for the past week as a George Plimpton-esque adventure. Now, on my last day, I am literally counting down the hours until I am reunited with meat and dairy products again.

Breakfast: Instant oatmeal.

Lunch: I go with my family to Coast, the beach-side restaurant in the Shutter’s Hotel in Santa Monica. I look the menu over again and again, dreaming about all the food that I can’t eat. I want to order spaghetti until someone points out that a lot of spaghetti is made with eggs, which the waitress confirms. The waitress tells me that the only vegan item on the menu is a Portobello mushroom steak with barley rice. “Steak” is a major exaggeration - it is just a small, thin slice of Portobello - but the dish as a whole is delicious. Read More »

Welcome to day five of my week eating entirely vegan.

No joke, this morning I woke up in a panic because I thought I’d eaten a ham and cheese sandwich last night. I’m not sure if this is because the rules of vegan eating are so strict you can break them on accident, or if I was just really craving a ham and cheese sandwich.

Breakfast: Trusty ol’ venti soy latte from Starbucks. The server looked like Christian Bale. Suddenly I’m very happy to be eating (and drinking!) vegan this week.

Lunch: Beer!! I go with a friend to the On the Waterfront Café on the Venice Boardwalk, an outdoor beer garden, and I enjoy a tall glass of brew. Some beers and wines are made with some fish product called isinglass, but I read online that German beers are vegan-friendly, so I order a German beer. This is by far the best vegan meal I’ve had in a while.

Dinner: I end up at Real Food Daily, again. I am now completely addicted to their Supreme Burrito. I highly recommend it. My friend gets a club sandwich. He is a huge meat eater and hates health food, but even he admitted that it wasn’t bad.

Does anyone know of any other vegan restaurants in Los Angeles that I should try? Or some vegan friendly products?

[image from veganvice.blogspot.com]

I’m starting to get cranky.

Welcome to day 6 of my week-long vegan eating adventure.

Breakfast: Wheatabix cereal with soy milk.

Lunch: I drag a friend to California Vegan Restaurant on Sunset. I get a sweet and sour seitan (wheat gluten) dish with steamed brown rice. The sauce is tangy and tasty with pineapple, which I always love. But the seitan has a weird consistency and taste, it looks like a cross between tofu and chicken and it kind of creeps me out.

Dinner: I go with some friends to Famima!!, the Japanese convenience store, to get some cheap dinner. I spend twenty minutes looking at all their boxed dinners, studying ingredients, trying to figure out what I could eat. I end up just getting a fruit plate. I watch my friends eat their food and think of a new annoying thing about eating vegan: you can’t try your friends food. I’m someone who always steals other people’s food, so this is incredibly annoying. Read More »

Hello all, welcome to day 4 of my week-long vegan eating extravaganza.

I can honestly say that I’m getting used to eating vegan, although I did wake up in a cold panic last night thinking I’d accidentally had nonfat milk instead of soy milk in my morning coffee yesterday, so maybe I take that back…

Breakfast: Breakfast is definitely the hardest meal for a vegan. I think cereal with soy milk is an acquired taste (or maybe just always gross), and as I found out yesterday, scrambled tofu is just plain nasty. I looked up some vegan recipes online, but everything requires baking. You can make versions of muffins, waffles, pancakes, etc, but who has time for this when running out of the house in the morning? Today, I have oatmeal and a Starbucks soy latte for breakfast… again.

Lunch: Nothing. Nothing. Read More »

Here begins day two of my week attempting to eat like a vegan:

Breakfast: Oatmeal. Again.

Lunch: My quick-fix meal, a ham and cheese sandwich, is out, so I just munch on grapes, dried fruit, and nuts. I feel like a Greek god, but not at all full.

Dinner: I pull out the big guns for dinner. I go to Whole Food’s and do a massive shopping by following a list I compiled using recipes found on allrecipes.com. The total comes out to $120. Turns out tofu is more expensive than I thought it would be. I get home and I do the unthinkable: I cook for myself. I mix and simmer and stir. I make a total mess, but it actually feels really good to slave over a hot stove for an hour.

The end result? A meaty (thank you, Boca!), spicy, filling vegan chili. I put some of the chili in a tortilla for a vegan burrito thing, and it’s delicious. I pour some in a bowl and eat it, and when I go to put it in a Tupperware container, I end up eating some of it right out of the pot, always a good sign! Read More »

It sounds like a dream: lazing in bed until eleven, having sex in the middle of the day, scoping out your city’s best happy hours in the early evening with your man. This is the life of those unemployed and in a relationship. But there’s a dark side, a very dark side, and it’s called the Wii.

My friend Veronica (not her real name) is in the middle of such a slacker paradise. She’s temporarily living at home until she can relocate with her boyfriend to an as-of-yet unknown locale, she was recently laid off from a job she hated anyway, and she’s one of the only people I know who doesn’t freak out in a situation like this. But as someone looking on at her life and her relationship from a slight distance, I’m freaking out on her behalf.

Her boyfriend recently bought a Wii, that addictive gaming console that lets you bowl or play tennis by swinging a white remote around and looking like a moron. I love my friend, and I love that she’s so comfortable with her boyfriend that she can hang out with him in her pajamas, and I love that he finds her sexy even when she doesn’t shower. But I think there’s a fine line between being comfortable with your other and being stuck in a rut.

Veronica and her boyfriend have long been turning into the same person. First, it was their jokes, sometimes funny, sometimes offensive, as if they were nudging each other on. Now, it’s their attitudes towards life, a blasé, things-will-work-out-on-there-own attitude that seems to magnify the longer they are together. This may sound as if I don’t like them together, but that’s actually not true. He’s a good person and he treats her well, and I wish I could be as relaxed and go-with-the-flow as she is, but I’m not, so I worry.

The risk of the slacker dream is real. Read More »