Levi Johnston wants to set the record straight, alright?

Apparently sick and tired with what the media is doing to his image — crafting him into a stupid redneck who accidentally got Sarah Palin’s daughter preggo — Johnston decided to talk to the Associated Press about everything from his love of Bristol to what he really thinks of Barack.

“We both love each other,” Johnston told the AP about Bristol. “We both want to marry each other. And that’s what we are going to do.” When it comes to his new baby (due in December), Johnston seems just as equally “excited.”

“I’m looking forward to having [the baby], I’m going to take him hunting and fishing. He’ll be everywhere with me.”

As for that Myspace page that claimed Johnston was a proud redneck and didn’t want kids? Turns out his friends made it a year ago as a joke and he had nothing to do with it — I mean, so he says.

The author of the AP article writes that Levi is a “soft-spoken” scruffy hottie who’s also an “avid hunter” — he’s got animal skulls littering his Alaskan home. After learning that his gf was pregnant, Levi dropped out of high school and now works in the oil fields as an apprentice technician, doing all he can to make the dolla dolla bills for his new family. Read More »

[I like to think of myself as a pretty easy going gal, and try not to sweat the small stuff. But sometimes (ok, maybe slightly more often) the general cluelessness, carelessness and overall stupididty of some things and or/people really gets to me. I find that venting is the most efficient way to rid myself of the stress that idiots, wrong meal orders, lack of cell phone ettiquette and cheese flavored products (that don’t even contain any freaking cheese!) induce.

So, in an attempt to avoid an ulcer or an unfortuante road rage incident I vent to you, dear reader. Please feel free to join in and comment about anything–really, anything–that pissed. you. off. this week. Did your roommate leave dirty dishes all over your kitchen? Did your 8 am professor ‘forget’ to tell you class was cancelled? Did some girl on her cell with bad high-lights and tacky bumper stickers that say “angel” and other clever things cut you off today? Let it all hang out. I feel you.] Read More »

The election is less than 4 weeks away, which, obvi, everyone knows since the campaign commercials/ mailings/ phone calls/ SNL skits are EVERYWHERE. All the time. I even hear “I am Barack Obama and I approve this message,” in my freaking SLEEP.

It’s crunch time and Barack Obama and John McCain are popping into new cities every day to tell Americans what they plan to do when they move into the Oval Office.

Which got us thinking.

We know that we could never run for president (there are waaaay too many Facebook albums that could be used as blackmail), but what if we could? So, we asked our writers to weigh in on their Presidential Plans: If they were elected president, what is the first thing they would do? Read More »

Breaking: We think we may have found the gift registry of Bristol Palin and her baby daddy.

As strange and funny as it is, we are seriously hoping this isn’t real. When your mom puts a tanning bed in the Governor’s Mansion, is it really crazy to assume you’d be registered at Pottery Barn Kids instead of JCPenny?

Not to mention the fact that this registry looks like it’s more for Bristol and Levi than it is for a baby. We can’t begin to fathom what a newborn would do with a Tin Can Alley Shooting Gallery.

Take a look at the probably fake but incredibly hil-arious registry HERE.

As I continue to try and wrap my head around Sarah Palin, the GOP’s newest Vice Presidential pick (”a woman making strides toward the white house, good!”, “a woman who thinks the government has the right to tell her what her reproductive rights are, bad!”), a few wayward comments flying around the internet and media have gotten me really confused.  According to sources, Palin is on record stating that global warming is not man made, and that polar bears aren’t endangered

…What?

“A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location.” Palin stated as early as a few weeks ago to a conservative magazine for it’s September issue. “I’m not one though who would attribute it to being man-made.”

As a moderate liberal, I can often support Republicans and Independents, as long as I believe their brain is in the right place. The thing is…denying humans have anything to do with global warming, and working to keep polar bears off the endangered list goes beyond politics and veers into …well…complete and utter wrongness. Read More »

That’s right. In a huge attempt to be relavant and completely go against his previous accusations against Obama for having little to no experience, McCain has just announced that his Vice President will be none other than Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin. Palin is 44, has “former beauty queen” on her resume, has only been the governor for two years, and recently gave birth to her 5th child in April.

God knows how she’s going to be VP with 5 kids. One time I babysat 5 kids and couldn’t even pee without someone shoving a crayon in someone else’s eye, let alone help lead a country.

Perhaps Palin’s daily schedule will look a little something like this:

5:30AM: change diapers, wipe poop off of hands to read daily briefing, breast feed

6:30AM: feed and burp children, wipe baby puke off her Talbot’s dress, tell children to “stop playing with mommie’s pearls!”

10:30AM: get to office, notice wayward baby throw-up on shoe, talk to advisers Read More »

Once thought a longshot, Republican Alaskan Senator Sarah Palin is now on a plane to potentially stand at McCain’s side. Also leavin’ on a jetplane is Mass’s Mormon Mitt Romney. Ohhhhhhh the tension is killing me, but we have received some great insights from interns that we know who work at some real publications.

If Obama had tapped (politically speaking) Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney would be the VP bid to try and match her fund-raising firepower. Since Joe Biden is in, the Republicans can now pick a female VP and look (and this is a direct quote), “progressive in the ever-changing political landscape where all citizens have equal representation and a global voice.” Gosh, I wish I could write pretty like that. Read More »