Apparently the Teen Choice Awards were on last night, or something? Yeah, we didn’t know either. But here are some people dressed up for it.

This is what $14 Million looks like. (Funny, I thought there would be more gold….)

Is my iPhone really killing me?

Thank God for CollegeCandy, especially now that our favorite magazine is folding.

People say my standards are too high, but would do date this man?

Sleeping in until noon is not bad; it makes you smarter!

Paris Hilton’s mama fights back against John McCain. Looks like the Repubs lost a little financing, eh?

Sexual harrassment is A-OK. In fact, it is necessary for the future of our species. Duh.

Please, Tyra. PLEASE. Don’t ruin this election for the rest of us.

Are you a nailbiter? Smoker? “Like” sayer? Quit that nasty habit overnight!

Don’t mess with Tracy Turnblatt. Fo real.

I am as obsessed with celebrity news as the next person; I am constantly perusing PerezHilton.com, TMZ.com, and all the other gossip pages, to read up on celeb news. I’m the first one to answer all the Pop Culture questions right at Trivia Night, and I thrive on reading the most intimate details of fights, breakups and love triangles of those we adorn from afar.

But even I, as much of a celeb-session that I have, do not think it’s appropriate to showcase your one month old child on the cover of US Weekly, People, In Touch, OK! or others, bartering with various publications for who will pay the most for the first pics of the new bebe.

In an article by Forbes Magazine, the topic of celebrity baby pictures – and the outlandish prices – was addressed. According to reports, JLo and Marc Anthony were paid $6 million from People Magazine for the first shots of the twins. $6 million?! For baby photos?! That’s more than I’ll make in a lifetime – hey, that’s more than everyone I know combined will make in a life time!

While I think it’s ridiculous to pull figures for your children, at least, if you do it, be charitable about it. Take the famous Brangelina couple, who, at the birth of Shiloh in 2006, were paid $4.1 million by People for the pics, all of which they donated entirely to an African charity. Okay so, still not the best idea to pimp out your kid for some dough, but at least, if you’re going to do it (which they all are – can we guess how much Ashlee & Pete will get???), they did it with some class. Read More »

Working out without working out? Sign me up!!And this is why I never take the bus.

Finally, an action movie with a strong female lead!

10 Best Songs for Doing the Dirty, Dirty

Brangelina’s twins already worth more than I will be in my lifetime.

Why haven’t I heard about this summer blockbuster yet?

Newlyweds spend wedding night in the slammer. Romance…. <sigh>

Gossip Girl is ruining the youth of this country!

Late again! Yesterday was National Orgasm Day. Perhaps we could still celebrate? Any takers?

Mini Me got beat up…by a girl. Girl power!

Giant cat getting molested on live TV? Yes, it is a slow news day…

[Photo courtesy of the New York Times]

Okay, I’m gonna go ahead and say it. I’m really going to say it. I hope god doesn’t strike me down with a thousand lightening bolts…he might. I can’t be sure. But I’ll say it anyway:

I’m so over Brad and Angie.

What?! I know. Am I a horrible spawn of Satan? Some kind of weird robot without the capacity to love? Maybe a Russian spy…

Or maybe, just maybe, I have the good sense to call it like I see it. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are over-exposed. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are humans who have fabulous, expensive publicists to make them sound like badass, ordaned angels. They’re adopting a lot of kids really fast — but they have fabulous, expensive nannies to help them every waking moment of the day. Their acting abilities waver from pretty good (Girl, Interrupted and Fight Club) to snore-inducing unbelievable (Taking Lives and Troy). And lastly…no one in the media has any balls when it comes time to interview them. Read More »

In a recent interview, the very-pregnant-due-any-day Angelina Jolie made it clear that she wouldn’t hesitate to pick up a gun to protect her fam from an intruder.

The mother of four (soon to be six), along with her live-in boytoy Brad Pitt, is currently residing in a palatial French mansion, and preparing to give birth to twins. Despite rumors that Ms. Jolie will not be giving birth until August, word is out that a team of nurses from L.A. have already hopped over the pond to France.

Her protective “instincts” are obviously on high alert, and Angie is definately ready to kick the ass of anyone who tries to tangle with her (seems to be an odd admittance, given her stature as a goodwill ambassador to the UN, don’t you think?). Read More »

Hottie of the week
Helloooo, Robert Downey, Jr. He gets this because he’s hot. And Iron Man rocked.

My clip of the week
Thank you, Amy Poehler. It’s kinda wrong but kinda right and this is coming from a Hillary supporter.

Song of the week
Rihanna, “Take a Bow.” Whatever you say, Billboard Singles Charts.

Why am I not surprised?
Poor Speed Racer

Fashion of the Week
The good: I don’t watch or care about SATC, but god, do I love this shoot. The clothes are hot, the pictures are hot and I can’t get over that picture with the camera and the floor and what? Wow.

The bad: So this girl, Marche Taylor, and her prom dress. She shows up to her Texas prom wearing a few dinner napkins and ultimately gets kicked out for not wearing underwear.

Do we blame J-Lo for this? Read More »

While you acquired the Freshman 15, this dude became Mayor. No, like, a real one.

The Flight of the Concords would like a minute of your time, ladies

What if Ashlee and Pete hired Winehouse and Doherty to sing at their wedding?

Some deep thoughts from Jack Handey, via CollegeHumor

Coming soon: My Not-So-Sweet 16 (both horrifying and awesome)

Top six fantasy guys–NOT the Village People

John Edwards’ hair is finally back–and supporting Obama

Angelina Jolie shows some personality, admits she’s having twins

Oh, the writers strike. It’s been cock blocking so many fun events for us spectators as of late, but not the SAG awards! The ceremony actually went and got a waiver from the Writers Guild of America and the show, for once, went on Sunday. Stars grazed the red carpet with expected ease and as with all major events like this one, the night was just as much as about fashion as it was anything else. And as with every fashion event, celebrities seem to always be hitting it or missing it.

So here’s who HIT it Sunday night: Read More »

Call me jaded or skeptical, but I firmly believe that being poor while young is a rite of passage. It is the seed that pushes us to grow in the future.

You know what else is a rite of passage while young? Wanting to be beautiful.

We don’t want to be beautiful in the way we wanted to in middle school. For example, I no longer believe that I will transform into Angelina Jolie one day. However, as you become older and more embracing of your natural features, you also become more interested in how exactly to highlight them and make what you were given work for you.

So lets talk skin. We all want clear and firm skin. Many of us already know that the answer to this is a regular face mask. However, did you know that you can make your own face masks with ingredients straight out of your kitchen?

That’s right. No wasting time at the drug store trying to figure out exactly what sort of classification of screwed up skin you have. And no wasting money on a mask you could make in a matter of minutes from crap you already have. On top of all of that…in my experience…I have found that these homemade masks actually work better than the ones I buy from the store. Go figure.

So here are some ideas for you: Read More »

With the cancellation of the Golden Globes and the uncertain fate of the upcoming awards season, you have to take red carpet looks anywhere you can find them. Last night’s 13th Annual Critics Awards brought out a spattering of stars and pseudo-celebs… some dressed to the 9’s, most to the 6’s or 7’s.

Take a look at Monday night’s meager red carpet fashion offerings and vote for you favorites after the jump. Read More »