I’m not sure how I can say this without offending pretty much all of CC’s readership, but I really don’t like girls very much.

Yes, I know that I am one. Yes, I realize that makes me hypocritical.

So before you all jump on the attack bandwagon, let me at least explain my position. It’s not girls I don’t like, per se. It’s just things about them. For example:

• The obsession with appearance. Yeah, I realize it’s sometimes important to look good. I even fall victim to this one sometimes. But the real problem I have is with girls who will goggle at a full closet of clothes and whine, “I have nothing to wear!” or girls that will try on something in a dressing room and then ask their poor boyfriends, “Does this make me look fat?”

Hello, ladies. He knows the drill. He’s not going to tell you it makes you look fat, because he cares about you (for reasons I will never understand). If you can’t ask an opinion question that has more than one right answer, don’t ask it at all.

• The crooked way they communicate. When you talk to a guy, it’s so straightforward. Everything is right there on the table; take it or leave it. When you talk to a girl, though, especially if it’s about something serious, the girl will tend to skirt the issue and ask leading questions and not be entirely truthful and….AAHHH! It drives me up the wall!

If you’re turning down a friend’s invitation to hang out, tell it like it is. Say, “I know this is stupid, but the hot physics prof is giving a seminar during that time” instead of “Oh, yeah, I would REALLY like to, but I have to go to this seminar for class.” Read More »

Most of the time, I look like a hag. Though I wish this was untrue, it’s hard to deny when I check myself out in the mirror. The reason? I hate makeup.

When I was eight years old, I distinctively remember sitting at the kitchen table and watching my mother put on her makeup, just like she did every other morning. It was an elaborate ritual, lasting for five or ten minutes and transforming her from my mom into some painted-up, clown-type figure with a mask.

“You know,” I told her then. “When I grow up, I’m not ever going to wear any makeup. And I’m going to save so much money because of it. Just think about how much money you spend every year on makeup.”

I don’t remember how my mom reacted, but she probably rolled her eyes at me. Read More »