Recappin\' The Hills...

So, I was gone for a few weeks and
missed out on a lot of Hills recapping.
I was so excited to get back into it…
until I actually watched tonight’s totally
sucky episode. Like most episodes of
The Hills, nothing really happened. In
fact, the entire show can be broken
down into two sentences:
Lauren and Audrina make up.
Spencer acts like a douche in
front of his Nana. Read More...

Next: Undergrad Boys or Grad Men?
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(Halloween) Candy Dish: Trick or Treat, Smell Our Feet

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Happy Halloween! What are you wearing?!

Mary Kate and Ashley play pin up.

Kevin Smith decides to lose weight…after breaking a toilet.

Jamie Foxx is makin’ an album.

Chunky is in...for sweaters.

The Barack Obama and John McCain talking dolls.

Is Colin Farrell dressed up as a Newsie?

Stressed (about school, money, your lack of costume for tonight’s party? Try these 5 things.

Sarah Jessica Parker does her part for the election.

Pink just totally threw John Mayer under the bus.

Are we getting old MTV back?

Candy Dish: Jamie-Lynn Spears Married a Genius

jlynncaseywalmart.jpgWal-Mart stabs the Spears’ in the back!

Mandy Moore runs to take care of DJ AM

This chick HATES Dane Cook

She’d rather date a 20-year-old and throw peace signs

Kaite Holmes uncensored

Oh J. Piven…we forever pledge our love

Would you get that back fat sucked off?

Da Govanator loved Mary Jane

George Michael…just say no to bathroom stalls!

Did Ashley FIRE Mary-Kate?

Buff up with Brad

Candy Dish: Pete Wentz Continues To Baffle Normal People Everywhere

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Dude, this BETTER be for a video

The Gossip Girl treatment

Get the hell outta Galveston

Real authors everywhere read and weep

MaryKate and Ashley are sh*tty neighbors

Chuckys love J. Simpson

The Project Runway fashion show (spoiler!)

We’re not the only ones

Stay ahead of the curve: the top 10 colors for spring

Kayne’s Ninja Turtle mash-up!

Michael Phelps swims like a fish, but walks like a duck

America Ferrera is pretty awesome

Who beats up Roger Ebert??!

Janet Jackson goes space-age ugly

The Future’s So Bright, You Gotta Wear Expensive Shades

olsensplash_384_446176a.jpgI read an article in The New York Times the other day about New York shoppers spending three or four hundred bucks on a pair of sunglasses at stores like Ilori in SoHo. According to the article, market research firm The NPD Group has tracked purchases of luxury goods and, even in this constantly drooping economy, the amount spent on designer sunglasses has gone up while the amount spent on designer purses has gone down.

I’m not at all surprised.

Even more so than a purse or shoes, sunglasses are the first thing people notice about your outfit. You wear them all day and some people, like myself, wear them everyday. So why not drop as much on a pair of Gucci shades as you do on a pair of Manolo’s if you’ve got the spare change?

In recent years sunglasses have become the new It accessory. Pictures of Nicole Richie in oversize glasses that engulfed her tiny head became as ubiquitous in tabloids as pictures of Britney Spear’s cellulite, and the Olsen twins are now more famous for their Ray-Ban Wayfarers than their Balenciaga Motorcycle bags. Even wearing sunglasses at night has become popular with hundreds of pictures of drunk hipsters wearing the Kanye West designed shutter shades in dark clubs on websites like lastnightsparty.com. Read More »

Celeb Looks for Less: Ashley Olsen’s Mini Success

Ashley Olsen

I’m not always a huge fan of Ashley Olsen’s fashion sense, but I can’t help but love the look she rocked at a recent N.Y.C. screening of Everything at Once.

Ditching the vaguely homeless look, she went for a loose knit top over a mini skirt. Not sure you can pull it off? Making a tight leather mini look classy is not easy, so take a tip from Ashley and pair it with a looser top and sandals–not pumps. And if you’re busty, choose a top that doesn’t put your cleavage on display. A small skirt paired with a tight shirt will you have you looking more like Ashley Dupre than Ashley Olsen.

Here’s how to get the look for less: Read More »

Lance + Ashley = Desperate Creepy

lance-armstrong-7.jpg Here’s one last thing to go along with the scary Halloween television and disturbing décor: Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong are totally hooking up.

Frightening, right?

According to the ever-scandalous Page Six, Ashley Olsen and Lance Armstrong were seen together at the Gramercy Park Hotel’s bar on Monday night “making out” while Ashley “sat on Lance’s lap”.

The pair, 21 and 36, have a 15-year age difference between them and about a billion Ex’s. Armstrong was recently linked to Sheryl Crow and designer Tory Burch, while Ashley seems to have dated pretty much any guy who thinks she’s cool.

The creepiest part about this pairing is the fact that Lance Armstrong always struck me as a super-responsible, super cool guy. Something about winning 7 Tour de Frances and beating cancer made him seem laid back and experienced, a dude who sought out cool, traveled friends and mature women. To see him making out with Ashley Olsen crushes everything I (we?) previously thought.

Plus…ew. Read More »

Teenage Girls Just Aren’t Eating Enough

food.jpgRemember when you used to come home from high school, exhausted and starving? Lunch had been at like 10:30 that morning, and so by the time the afternoon bell rang, your stomach was growling so loudly you had to sit hunched over to dull the gurgles.

Home meant snacks. It might refueling yourself for sports or theater club or smoking stolen cigarettes under a tree while sneering at all organized things. Afternoon snack was an event I looked forward to from kindergarten to twelfth grade.

Hell, I still look forward to it!

Sadly, today’s teenage girls aren’t allowing themselves the joy of snack time – or any meal – at all. A report from the UK’s Independent Online showed that over “a third of 13 to 18-year-old girls” polled for a study indicated they had been on a diet or were currently dieting, and “45 per cent [ate] less than 1,200 calories per day”, which is below the healthy amount for growing women.

About a quarter of the boys in the survey admitted to eating less calories than the daily recommended amount, but girls were the ones worrying researchers most of all. Read More »

Who Wants to See Stephanie Tanner’s Uterus?

You know how I know it’s gonna be a great day? Because the first thing I saw on the Internet this morning was a big, fat picture of the uterus of Stephanie Tanner, a.k.a Jodie Sweetin.

Didn’t you know uteruses of old T.G.I.F stars are good luck? It’s true.

Stephanie Tanner, who spent 9 unforgettable years causing shenanigans and making me jealous on Full House, (Tommy Page is so dreamy) with the same expression on her face, is now preggers! Not only that, but she sent her ultrasound pics to TMZ for what I can only guess is some hopeful media attention. Man, what some people will do….rather unnecessary if you ask me, but this is much better attention than her addiction to meth! Wee-hoo!

But Stephanie isn’t the only one with new developments (and in her case, developments also means “boob job”). Some updates on the fam:

Danny Tanner, a.k.a Bob Saget, recently had an HBO comedy special. Too bad it sucked. If you’re gonna do a whole bit on animal sex and incessantly curse, make it funny. Read More »

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