As the go-to sympathetic listener to Every.Single.Friend of mine, I hear my fair share of happy stories, sad tales and a generous amount of scandals. But by far the most conversations we have revolve around the complete a-holes that my girlfriends deliberately date. I seriously cannot fathom why my beautiful, smart and funny friends seek out men who are sure to treat them horribly — that is when they pay any attention at all. Here is my condensed list of guys to avoid, and here is to hoping you can spot them as easily as your girlfriends do when you date them.

1. The Hottest Frat God Alive (at least he thinks so).
HFGA can usually be found sipping Natty Lite with his bros in his designated spot at everyone’s favorite bar. He charms the ladies with his sparkling smile and 9-year-old, never washed favorite hat. He can (and usually does) hook up with whomever he feels like, making them the lucky lady for the night. This luck expires the morning after as his conquest climbs out of the sketchiest window at his fraternity house so none of his brothers (or her friends) will notice. Read More »

The next day, Chuck and I went out to dinner after work, as we often did. This time, however, something was different: we were quiet, awkward even…not like our usual selves. The whole day had been a mess really–I didn’t think it was appropriate for us to be holding hands or kissing in front of our co-workers, so instead we had avoided each other like the plague. Flirting, which had previously come naturally to us, seemed inappropriate, as though at any moment someone would figure us out.

After dinner we kissed quickly and went our separate ways. Ugh.

I went back to our mutual friend for some back-up. “What the hell is going on? I thought Chuck liked me!”

“Do you like him?”

“Um. Of course I do! He is the nicest boy I’ve ever met, and he always treats me so well.”

“Maybe you only like him because he likes you.”

OK, fine, maybe part of the appeal was knowing I wouldn’t be rejected, but when I thought about it long and hard, I really cared about Chuck, and I wanted him to be happy.

“Do you think maybe you kissed him because you knew it meant so much to him?” Read More »

When I stepped onto my college campus fresh-off-the-boat (or FOB, as they call it) from some-obscure-country that I call home, I had no idea of the social niceties of dating in the states; my encounter with the opposite gender consisted of couple of weeks with a classmate in high school, who thought that drawstring shorts were most fashionable when paired with topsiders and gold jewelry.Needless to say, we broke up when I decided that the smell of his pineapple scented hair gel was overpowering the amorous odor of hamburgers and onion rings from burger king, which was our usual joint.

My freshman naivete wasn’t helped by the fact that I had that desperate urge to become the “IT” girl, something I had never been able to do in high school. I had lost 20 lbs. over the summer in anticipation that I would rise to a new social status at my east coast school, stocked my wardrobe with skin tight jeans and bling-encrusted baby Ts and headed to college.

So when I didn’t immediately become the most popular girl on campus, I was a little surprised. And taken aback. Moreover, my pre-college fantasies of hooking up with hot blonde-haired guys sporting surfer bodies wasn’t quite satisfied by the fact that NO ONE in the opposite gender seemed to want to talk to me. But I wasn’t giving up: I was willing to give it another shot two weeks later…and another one another two weeks later…but no action.

I then appealed to a friend who I shall call Courtney. Court listened to my problems, nodding along and making the occasional “uh-huh” as she listened to my ranting about guys not liking me and not being popular enough. At the end of my litany, she spoke a couple of words that seemed to make absolutely no sense at all.

“Honey…that’s because you’re Asian.” Read More »

We all know him. We all have one: the best guy friend who secretly has a crush on you, and has always had a crush on you, but has sat idly by while you date total assholes. He’s there when you get your heart broken, and he never takes advantage of your vulnerability.

Then, in the movies, you wake up one day and realize that he’s the perfect guy, and that you are madly in love with him. You tell him, preferably outside when it’s raining, and you both live happily ever after.

If only.

The summer after my Freshman year, I was working your typical slave-labor job and licking my wounds after breaking up with my first real boyfriend. To comfort myself, I started dating this total asshole; he didn’t really care about me, but loved leading me on.

My best friend from work, lets call him Chuck, tried to give me advice on the situation, since I always seemed to be upset. “We got in a huge fight last night, and he kicked me out of his car!” I would whine, and he would tell me I was too good for that guy, that I should just move on.

It was obvious to everyone (besides me, of course) that Chuck was falling for me big time, and every time I talked to him about my asshole rebound boy, I was just making things worse. I was clueless. Read More »

 I am over weight. That’s right, I know I am. I am not happy, I don’t “love being curvy” - that is all bullshit talk for people like me to feel ok with being fat. The media, regardless of what everyone says, either bombards you with: be jealous you are not skinny or stay fat and be happy about it. There was never a whole lot out there about seeking out a healthier lifestyle. Then came The Biggest Loser.

I finally felt like there was a television show that understood me. That was, until this week. Neil, Ryan, and Amy - those fat bastards - turned the only pure television experience I have as an overweight, uninspired young woman into Survivor for fatties. Those f**kers “played the game,” which is code for turning into cowardly assholes, and gained weight on purpose thereby throwing off the whole comeradery of the show and its audience.

I am horrified, as a fan and as a person struggling with my own weight, that this show has turned into people sling-shotting their own weight to “play the game.” If that is the game, then I don’t want to watch anymore. Short of having them eat animal entrails, this show has turned into a farce. I watched because I needed to be inspired. Being foolishly inpired by these people, I have worked my way to losing 6.5 lbs. Not a big deal by any stretch, but you know what? It is time to inspire myself.

Read More »

At the gym this morning I caught a segment on some talk show about cheating. Basically, the show was about agencies that helped people find out if their mate was cheating on them, and if such spy agencies were even ethical.

One of the panelists on the show was “relationship expert” and author Steve Santagati, a “former model and bad boy” who penned The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate–and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top.

I’ve caught Santagati’s TV appearances before, and each time I see his smug face on camera I can’t help but throw up a little and shake my head at all the women who actually buy anything written by such an obvious egoist.

My distaste aside, Santagati never actually said anything revolting during those appearances, so I had nothing to confirm my gut reaction—until this morning. Read More »

If I had a dollar for every time I heard a girl complain about how they always date the bad guy and are not attracted to nice guys, I would be a freakin millionaire by now. It’s the typical college girl dilemma: Do you go for the mysterious and enticing bad boy who will most likely break your heart or stick with the comfortable sweet guy who is more of a good friend and absolutely adores your every move?

In my dating experience, I have gone back and forth. After getting my heart broken by the asshole frat guy, I opted for a more conservative wholesome dude. The only problem was that I had to force myself to be attracted to the latter and eventually gave up on that after a few months. I have now settled somewhere in the middle with my current bf. Or at least I’ll keep telling myself that.

Regardless, I do think that nice guys tend to get the short end of the deal; I stumbled upon a website recently with many entertaining reasons why women tend to prefer bad guys, from a woman’s point of view.

Here are a few of my personal favorites from the list that I found funny and actually somewhat true:

“Nice guys feel so undeserving of ‘awesome you’ that they make you feel that you have, most assuredly, picked a real loser.” Read More »