So the other day I came across this article and as my eyes traveled down the page I could feel my blood boiling. Not only does birth control add a few extra pounds (to some of us girls) and possibly cause random health problems, now people are saying that it effects the way those of us taking it “smell” potential mates. Like, BC might actually make it harder to find the right guy.

As someone who’s been taking it for 7 years, I obviously flipped out upon reading, because what the hell I’m just trying to stop my monster cramps and not have a baby!??!!

Read More »

Now, I’m one to be up on the latest trends, especially when it comes to shoes. With a closet dedicated to my fabulous collection (at over 70 pairs, yes I admit, I have a problem!), I feel like I know what styles are new, what is out of fashion and what will be expected for each seasons new arrivals.

I did not, however, expect this: High heels for babies.
Yeah, you heard me.

Heelarious is a website that delivers soft shoes for babies, 0 – 6 months, who just can’t stop begging their mommies for some hot pink platforms. Featured in In Touch Weekly, New York Post, ABC News, ET Online and more, these plush shoes look like high heels and will give your baby the best look for her, um, day care class?!?!?! (Editor’s Note: Daycare is totes the best place to meet a guy!)

The New York Post called its article, “For Well-Heeled Fashionable Tots,” and, at $35.00 a pair, they’re obviously necessary for an individual who can’t even walk yet. With all different styles (hot pink, zebra pattern and – yes, even – leopard), your daughter, before her first birthday, will have conformed to society’s stereotypes! How proud you will be. Read More »

I can easily pinpoint my caffeine addiction to my first year of college, when I worked part-time as a barista at Starbucks. I distinctly remember going to my Starbucks at 8:00 a.m. and demanding that one of my coworkers serve me espresso after espresso while I crammed for my 10:00 class.

Since then, I’ve gone through phases of white chocolate mochas, skinny vanilla lattes (when I realized how many calories are in a WCM), energy drinks, caffeine pills, and, of course, a good ol’ cup o’ joe (or twenty). My caffeine tolerance is so high that I can finish sugar-free Monster, and be in bed, sleeping, an hour later. I’m pretty sure that’s not healthy.

I’m well aware of the health problems associated with caffeinated products– I’ll probably get tumors from my sugar-free energy drinks, and I’ve already suffered heart palpitations from Stackers energy pills, but that’s a whole different story. And now this; a new issue has for me to worry about. A recent study has suggested that too much coffee can decrease a woman’s chances of getting pregnant, at least for women already diagnosed with fertility problems. Read More »

THE JAMIE-LYNN SPEARS BABY IS REAL!

Moving out–more than a Billy Joel song

Bartender, bartender, make me a match

LOL I always confuse a live bat in my bra for my cell

Greatest. Invention. Ever.

Whoa–MTV is involved with something beyond “The Hills”

A French Rapper might go to jail for his lyrics, yet we still allow Paris Hilton to sing

Old habits die hard…right, Mary-Kate?

How many calories does sex actually burn?

A-Rod sure does have a lot of lady friends…

We’re the dumbest generation, huh?

This picture is really, really awkward

We’ve all been there.

We are at the bar, enjoying our favorite hits from Madonna’s Immaculate Collection with our girlfriends when, BAM, that weird dude shows up out of nowhere. He may be old, he may be creepy, or he may just be plain old gross (no matter how many drinks we’ve had…and yes, we did take that into consideration…what can we say? It’s been a long, dry summer), but whatever the reason we are not interested.

We give all the right signals - our friends drag us away, we pretend that our phone is ringing, we start dancing with other guys - but he just doesn’t get it. What are we supposed to do?

Get creative, of course.

Our writers are weighing in this week with their best efforts at letting the lad down gently. Read More »

Fashion
God, Charlize Theron is hot. And I love what she’s wearing.

Hottie of the Week
David Beckham. I hate his voice but man do I love him nearly naked.

Babies Babies Babies
Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl. Please don’t disappoint me by giving her a non-Hollywood crazy name. I don’t want to hear this talk of you giving her a pretty, normal name like Maddie.

Can everyone stop blaming teen pregnancies on “Juno”? I’m sure that movie didn’t influence a group of Massachusetts teenagers to make a ‘pregnancy pact.’

Karolina Kurkova, probably best known for her Victoria’s Secret spreads, “shocked” everyone who saw her “love handles and cellulite” at fashion week in Sao Paolo, Brazil. Karolina apologizes to everyone for eating and for having a booty. Read More »

(SARA, 23, sits with her DAD, 57, in a Thai restuarant near Sara’s apartment, waiting for her MOM, also 57, to come back from the bathroom so they can get this show on the road.)

SARA
(impatient)
What’d she, fall in?

DAD
You look…different.

SARA
Oh yeah, I’m growing out my bangs.

DAD
(brightening)
Oh yeah?

SARA
…Yeah…

DAD
You know I’ve never been a fan of when you have bangs. Even when you were a little kid.

SARA
Yeah, I know.

DAD
But something else too… Read More »

Picture for a moment your wedding day. No, scratch that. Picture the day after your wedding. You know, otherwise known as day #1 of your marriage. And most likely, day #1 of your honeymoon. Private beach in the Caribbean? Or perhaps romantic travels through Europe? No? You want to stay a bit more local? I mean, the coast of Maine is pretty nice in the summer. Oh. Closer?

Ashlee and Pete Wentz (yes, now legally married, she changed her name) wanted to stay close to home for their honeymoon. So close, in fact, they didn’t even want to leave their house.

But you can’t honeymoon in the same rooms you inhabit 24/7, so they switched it up a little. And went down to the basement. That’s right. After their Alice in Wonderland themed wedding, Ashlee and Pete are honeymooning in their basement.

But don’t worry; their basement probably isn’t as dark and dingy as the basement you’re imagining. After all, they do have blow-up palm trees and a fake-n-bake tanning booth. And for their romantic honeymoon dinners, they’re eating DiGiorno’s pizza. At least when they decide their honeymoon’s over, they’ll look like they’re fresh from the beach compliments of their tanning booth. Read More »

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are engaged. I’ve been forced to accept this as truth and move on with my life. And while I’m not particularly fond of either party’s “work,” they fascinate me as a couple. Months after posting this video mocking pregnancy rumors, there are now legit whispers flying around that the King and Queen of crappy, pre-pubescent pop-rock do in fact have a baby on board…right next to their 12-pack of Redbull and group pile of skinny jeans. But if this is true, I’ve got some questions.

First, what kind of reality show train wreck do you think Papa Joe is going to concoct for the next nine months? “Pimp My Placenta” hasn’t been taken by fetus-look-a-like Tila Tequila, right? Because Ashlee and Pete can totes write the theme song and not include any vowels or integrity like they always never do.

I also worry about Ashlee’s vajayjay. Normally I’d feel weird thinking about her fun parts, but this is a pressing human rights issue. Not only does a pregnancy imply that her nana has already been violated by his—gulp—”fallout boy,” but it also needs to prepare itself for the spikiest baby hair of all time to pass through. Seriously. Can you imagine pooping out a porcupine? Yeah, it wouldn’t feel too awesome, would it? Read More »

Good news, everybody! Now you can get a free sample of a really creepy vaginal contraceptive product!

It’s a piece of spermicidized film that “is manually inserted high into the vagina” to prevent pregnancy. However, not only do you have to really get that shiz up in there (and I mean REALLY up in there–check the little illustration), it’s not even as effective as a condom.

According to Planned Parenthood, the spermicide used in this product is not very effective.

And just for your own purposes, here is another pretty good resource: GoAksAlice.

I don’t know. I mean, on the one hand, the site offers a free sample (and God knows I love a free sample, almost as much as I like a wide-legged pant…but I digress). So it won’t cost you anything to try it out.

Unless, of course, you get pregnant as a result.

And then it’ll cost you a whole lotta baby (and maybe some unwanted baby daddy too).

Well, I don’t know. I haven’t used it. Anybody here tried VCF? Am I totally off base?