Everywhere I go, I see couples of all shapes and sizes. I’m no Supermodel, but I’m not a total trainwreck either; I’m literate, have seen “Iron Man” at least six times, and shower almost everyday. So why isn’t anyone spooning with me?

After analyzing all of my failed attempts into coupledom, I realized it’s not me doing something wrong–it’s every guy I’ve ever been with: they never meet my standards. But what are my standards? Two words: have mercy!

…Okay, two more: Uncle Jesse.

That’s right, Uncle Jesse is my dream man. The Prince Charming to my Cinderella, the McDreamy to my Dr. Grey, the Richard Gere to, well, everybody’s mom.

John Stamos’ portrayal of Uncle Jesse on the sitcom “Full House” entered my life at the young and impressionable age of literally the day I was born. I mean, it’s kind of weird to say that he shot me into puberty before I was out of diapers, but since I could process emotions, I’ve known who the man for me is.

Why waste time on the frat guy with premature male-pattern baldness in Philosophy 101, or the dude with those cheese whiz-stained pants that used to live on my floor? I’m still a young sprite, and am in no rush to lower my standards, thankyouverymuch.

Here are the top 5 reasons why Uncle Jesse is the reason I’m still single: Read More »

I have to admit, I’ve been that girl boo-hooing to her friends that every guy she meets is a jerk, every guy she has ever dated was a jerk, and why oh why can’t I just find a nice guy?? I’ve made these comments on multiple occasions, and then, the other weekend…I met a nice guy (at a bar no less. Guess the old adage “you don’t meet nice guys in bars” was a lie).

We had a date, then a second and third, and then I stopped calling him.

After three dates we had kissed once, he was talking about taking me to his hometown (across the country) to meet his family, he called me beautiful all the time, and sent me texts like “a beautiful girl like you should enjoy this beautiful day - with love.” I don’t have the stomach for that kind of flattery and adoration, nor am I used to it. Read More »

At the gym this morning I caught a segment on some talk show about cheating. Basically, the show was about agencies that helped people find out if their mate was cheating on them, and if such spy agencies were even ethical.

One of the panelists on the show was “relationship expert” and author Steve Santagati, a “former model and bad boy” who penned The Manual: A True Bad Boy Explains How Men Think, Date, and Mate–and What Women Can Do to Come Out on Top.

I’ve caught Santagati’s TV appearances before, and each time I see his smug face on camera I can’t help but throw up a little and shake my head at all the women who actually buy anything written by such an obvious egoist.

My distaste aside, Santagati never actually said anything revolting during those appearances, so I had nothing to confirm my gut reaction—until this morning. Read More »