Nice guys think they finish last. Assholes think they finish first. As Dane Cook would put it, “What about the whole middle ground here where YOU’RE AN IDIOT!?”

There’s more to it than good guys and bad guys. I’m sick of hearing nice guys complain that so many of us girls choose to date jerks. Screw that. It’s just that the nice guys, the REALLY nice ones, are disguised. “Nice Guys” are the ones hovering over your desk at work, telling you:

“You know, I’M A NICE GUY, but you girls only like dirtballs.” Read More »

As a little girl, when my parents wanted a little quiet time, instead of popping in a Wee-Sing video they put on Dirty Dancing or Grease. By the time I was eight I could recite every line. And while the abortion references escaped me, the whole good girl can change a bad boy idea did not.

I got older and my favorites gravitated towards Pretty Woman, Cruel Intentions, 10 Things I Hate About You, and as a result, I have suffered a life-long affliction with bad boys.

Not the bad boy in the sense that they served jail time, smacked me around or started bar fights. No, they were bad boys in the sense that they were bad for me, and I stuck around like a barnacle on a humpback trying my best to fix him (you know, just like I learned from Julia, and the rest of the girls..)

It is a classic formula, the one I equate to my relationships: one bad boy with a fatal flaw (every ex I’ve ever had) + one good girl (me) + an undeserving amount of love, support and patience that will change them into the perfect man (the problem) = reality.

Case and point: The cheater, a repeat offender. The boyfriend, did not believe in romance - an obvious problem for a girl who believes the premise of The Notebook is not asking too much. The real bad-boy, with regular altercations with the law and other bad-boys. And, the self-proclaimed “laid back” boyfriend, too laid back for a job or to be counted on. Read More »

I was sick of dating “bad boys” and dudes from the not-so-smart category. I wanted to date an intellectual, a nice guy.

Instead, I got Mr. Deceptive.

Mr. Deceptive was definitely smart, but he wasn’t as nice as he made himself out to be. He was a Nice Guy Poser.

I think the first time I realized this was when I saw him interacting with a florist he used pretty regularly. (Yes, he sent flowers to people often enough to be a regular at a florist! And no, that doesn’t make him the dream boyfriend you’d think it would.)

During this particular visit, Mr. Deceptive wanted to arrange to send flowers to a colleague’s wife’s funeral.

“How much do you want to spend? ” the florist asked as he started to show Mr. Deceptive the flowers he recommended.

“Oh, about $50 or $60,” Mr. Deceptive answered.

Even I, who admittedly knows nothing about funeral flower arrangements, thought that seemed a bit low. Turned out I was right. The florist hesitated and looked at Mr. Deceptive quite hard. “May I suggest you send a live plant to the person’s house, instead?” he asked carefully. Read More »