Since my surgery last week (I’ll spare you the details, but it sucked. SUCKED), I haven’t been doing a lot besides popping pain pills and watching TV. I’ve watched so much TV in the last 9 days that I’m seeing not just repeats, but thrice-peats, on every single channel.

Because nighttime is the worst, I tend to be unable to move enough to even change the channel, thus rendering me helpless to my parents’ whims and the oddness this Nation televises every four years: The Democratic Convention.

Politics often mystify me, even though I try to learn as much as I can from a few different outlets, so I was prepared to feel stupid in the wake of so much government and strategy mumbo jumbo (plus, I was taking a lot of pain meds the last three nights…they make the world seem complicated). But instead of feeling like a lame invalid who knows nothing, I felt something stronger rising up in my chest (and no it was not barf) — I felt laughter. Incredulous laughter at the sheer ridiculous of this political phenomenon.

If you haven’t caught the Convention yet — and you really should because stupid or not it is history — let me break down how most of the speeches go:

Democrat (usually a Senator, Senator’s wife, or, if it was last night, the Vice Presidential nominee): I am proud (applause) of being a Democrat (GIANT APPLAUSE) and thanks to all of you (applause) for being such damn good human beings (applause) and believing that this country has turned to sh*t under Republican rule! (GIANT APPLAUSE). Barak (applause) Obama (APPLAUSE) is our future (Applause lasting 5 minutes) and John McCain (boos) loves Bush (GIANT BOOS) and is old (applause) and wants to stay in the old way of thinking. (boos) YES BARAK OBAMA!! (Giant applause and shot of Bill Clinton with his mouth open) Read More »

Every dude’s dream: Pam VS Jessica

Barack is the new Barbie

If girls ruled the internet

Watch Amy Winehouse punch people

What’s Lindsay doing these days?

Dear Jesus: Heidi wants to sing about you

Best cities for jobs in 2008

Ruben Studdard sings about his wife. Sort of

Guess what I’m having at my next pool party?

King Kong: a racist, sexist romp?

Um, did you buy that Louis Vutton from eBay?

DMX…calm yourself

Bye-bye Hillary… As more and more news outlets and political insiders come out in support of Senator Barack Obama as the democratic presidential nominee, pressure is mounting for Clinton to drop out so that the democratic party can turn their focus onto defeating McCain—whom many are calling Bush III.

This week’s Economist led with an article entitled “Almost there: Barack Obama deserves the nomination. It is not yet clear whether he deserves the presidency”. The article went on to state:

“As The Economist went to press, Mrs Clinton was publicly still promising to keep on fighting right the way to the Denver convention. That remains her right. But it is hard to see what she, her party or her country can gain from the struggle.”

The New York Times—who had endorsed Senator Clinton– posted a rather scathing editorial in which all but call upon her to drop out, stating that while it is her right to continue the fight,

“Mrs. Clinton will be making a terrible mistake — for herself, her party and for the nation — if she continues to press her candidacy through negative campaigning with disturbing racial undertones.” Read More »