Since my surgery last week (I’ll spare you the details, but it sucked. SUCKED), I haven’t been doing a lot besides popping pain pills and watching TV. I’ve watched so much TV in the last 9 days that I’m seeing not just repeats, but thrice-peats, on every single channel.

Because nighttime is the worst, I tend to be unable to move enough to even change the channel, thus rendering me helpless to my parents’ whims and the oddness this Nation televises every four years: The Democratic Convention.

Politics often mystify me, even though I try to learn as much as I can from a few different outlets, so I was prepared to feel stupid in the wake of so much government and strategy mumbo jumbo (plus, I was taking a lot of pain meds the last three nights…they make the world seem complicated). But instead of feeling like a lame invalid who knows nothing, I felt something stronger rising up in my chest (and no it was not barf) — I felt laughter. Incredulous laughter at the sheer ridiculous of this political phenomenon.

If you haven’t caught the Convention yet — and you really should because stupid or not it is history — let me break down how most of the speeches go:

Democrat (usually a Senator, Senator’s wife, or, if it was last night, the Vice Presidential nominee): I am proud (applause) of being a Democrat (GIANT APPLAUSE) and thanks to all of you (applause) for being such damn good human beings (applause) and believing that this country has turned to sh*t under Republican rule! (GIANT APPLAUSE). Barak (applause) Obama (APPLAUSE) is our future (Applause lasting 5 minutes) and John McCain (boos) loves Bush (GIANT BOOS) and is old (applause) and wants to stay in the old way of thinking. (boos) YES BARAK OBAMA!! (Giant applause and shot of Bill Clinton with his mouth open) Read More »

With everyone making such a fuss over Hillary Clinton’s spouse in regard to her shot at being the man of the house; it only seems fair to me that Michelle Obama be dragged out to the boxing ring and forced to show us what she is made of, too.

Through a complication that seems to be either really good or really bad for Hillary at all times…her husband was president. Therefore, we likely already have an established opinion of him. And, by default, unfortunately, many people will not be voting for Hillary simply because of their views of Bill.

So if we are going to put such a heavy emphasis on the spouses of the candidates, we should all know a lot more about Michelle.

HER HISTORY

Michelle is American. She was raised in Chicago and went on to study at Princeton University and then attended Harvard Law School. She went back to Chicago to work as a lawyer when she completed her education.

Okay. So far, so good. The chic is smart. She even skipped second grade. Read More »