According to Hollyscoop.com (and tons of other sites on the web today) Elisabeth Hasselbeck, the one reigning Republican on The View is getting wicked pissed that all the other loud-talking ladies on her show are always going after to her when it comes to politics.

It seems like Barbara Walters is even planning a “cool down meeting” to keep little Hasselbeck from jumping ship and heading over to Fox News.

I don’t really watch The View, but I can only imagine what it would be like to have Whoopie, Joy, that other lady, and Barbara Walters jumping down your throat every day. However, to be fair, whenever I turn the show on by accident, Hasselbeck is usually talking awfully loud about something that isn’t interesting.

So Josh Hartnett has a sex tape. God heard our prayers! What we wouldn’t give to see that thing…in IMAX. [Wipes drool off of desk.] Knowing this (and praying that we can one day watch it) got us thinking: what does one eat while watching a sex tape? Popcorn? Edible underwear?

Also, who else would we want to see starring in their very own sex tape?

Ed Westwick, fo sho.
The teacher from the new 90210.
Ourselves (for private viewing only…and the cellulite would have to be airbrushed).
Anyone, in fact, besides these people: Read More »

The View has finally announced that Whoopi Goldberg will be joining the daily gab-fest.Goldberg is set to stat the day after Labor Day. And apparently, Barbara Walters is still looking for a 5th host (Hey Babs- I am totally available!)

I must say, the first fifteen minutes of The View is always entertaining. Watching “Hot Topics” is like fast-forwarding a scene at my sorority house kitchen table to twenty-five years from now. Gossiping about stars, shouting over each other to be heard and not really caring (or listening to) what the other girls at the table have to say. It is great to know not much will change in my life between now and the year 2030 (and thanks to Botox, really, nothing will change!) Read More »

There’s just something about Regis Philbin, his demeanor, the look in his eye, the way he hunches over his high risen stool and leans into camera, peering relentlessly into the eyes of millions of American housewives and grandmothers. In truth, I can’t help but dislike him as Kelly Rippa chirps solemnly around set, over gesticulating her way into the stuff of a morning show legend. In the chair where Kathy Lee Gifford would ultimately rise and fall, how quickly we forget success when failure interferes with commercial advertising.

This is what daytime television is made of, predetermined banter spiked with personal ambiguity hidden behind the confides of little blue index cards. These types of hosts thrive mostly on conformity and the pleasing of the masses. Mostly they steer away from subversion preferring never to rock the boat. They are the “Murdoch worshipers”, living to please the peacock, look into the CBS eye and learn their ABC’s while minding their P‘s and Q‘s. These are “the Grains” of America‘s food pyramid. You should eat six ounces a day with at least half of them whole. Grains are the basis of a healthy diet. This may come as a surprise to you after years of being told to stay away from foods such as breads, rice, and cereal.

Though every host is in a sense looking to keep his or her position and maintain a relationship with a network it seems that there are a few using their timeslots as a platform to voice opinions, provide insight and increase social change. Oprah Winfrey for example changed the face of television by using her power to form a movement. Making a sincere effort to challenge the way Americans think and feel about the state of the world. Her book club increased literacy in America, her charities have save millions of lives, and her Angel Network has provided educational opportunities that were otherwise impossible for young students simply by collecting a country’s spare change. Read More »