My bartending style tends to run less towards the carefully measured, tried-and-true recipes and more towards the “What’s in my fridge right now?” trial-and-error method. I rarely use actual measures, because what is “good” depends on how many people are drinking, how liquored up they want to be, and how well they hold all that liquor. That being said, I have a few favorite drinks that do really well in cold weather.

Peppermint Hot Chocolate:
This ain’t your grandma’s hot cocoa. (Or maybe it is…) I like to add a few drops (or shots) of Peppermint Schnapps to hot chocolate for an immediate warm-up. Make the cocoa with milk if you like it creamier.

Cinnamon Vanilla Cream:
One day my love of Starbuck’s and alcohol collided, and this drink was born. I just poured some Cinnamon Schnapps into my Vanilla Crème, and - voilà - an innocuous looking brew. Yes, I did keep it all in the Starbucks container. You can make your own Vanilla crème by warming up milk, adding a drop or two of vanilla extract, sugar to taste, and topping it off with whipped cream.

Hot (Spiked) Apple Cider:
First, you need to find some alcoholic apple cider. It’s probably somewhere between the beer and wine sections. Two bottles is a good amount to start with. On the stove, get it simmering with two cinnamon sticks, a tablespoon of cloves, a little bit of sugar and some nutmeg. What really makes it piping hot though, is the addition of either rum or apple brandy. Be generous, ladies - the apple cider has lost most of its alcoholic content in the heating process. Read More »

Alright people, let’s get two things straight. 1) I love (loooove) drinking and 2) I am pretty damn serious about my GPA. A paradox, I know, but one that has contributed greatly to my collegiate success (both in and out of the bars). Unfortunately these two qualities clash in a major way when my morning lectures (ok and sometimes afternoon classes if I’ve been hitting the Franz a little too hard) and hangovers coincide.

Naturally, my first reaction is to stumble out of bed, put on the first item of clothing that most nearly resembles sweatpants and yank a gym shirt over my head as I groan “ughhhhh” on the way out the door.

Sadly, professors and attractive classmates do not take kindly to my arrival in class looking like Britney circa February 2008–and chances are yours don’t either. So instead of being shunned for your dedication to class attendance (I mean, you’re making the effort right?!) I’ve thrown together a handy list of fashion saviors for even the most hungover of mornings.

You’ll look as put together as one possibly can after a night of hollering 80’s classics and harassing the bartender, and no one will be the wiser (except for the person sitting next to you enjoying your Eau de Skol…) Read More »

You know how it feels really sexy and naughty when you sidle up to a cute bartender and order a Sex on the Beach?

Well, it does.
It feels sexy and naughty.

Anyway, you can recreate that feeling when you throw your own sexy party and act as bartender.

Here are a few sexy-sounding drinks to serve to your hottie brigade of guests. Make sure to giggle annoyingly when they order.

Orgasm
1/2 ounce Vodka
1/2 ounce Amaretto
1/2 ounce White Creme de Cacao
1/2 ounce Triple Sec
1 ounce cream
Shake with ice and enjoy.

Tap That Ass
2 ounces Alizé (1 ounce red, 1 ounce yellow)
1 ounce Hennessy
a little cranberry juice
a little soda water
Pour the Alizé and Hennessy over ice. Top it off with the cranberry juice and soda water to taste. Read More »

Dear Friends/Family/That Random Taxi Driver That Picked Me Up and Took Me Home After Finding Me Face First On The Sidewalk,

Sometimes I like to drink. A lot. And on those occasions I may or may not (okay, always) do stupid things. It is not me, you see; it is the alcohol. In fact, it is not until the morning after when I am chugging Gatorade and trying to get my bed to stop spinning that I even realize exactly what went down. And I feel bad – really, I do. So, I want to take this opportunity to apologize for it all.

To The Bartender: I am sorry that I hopped over the bar and drank beer directly from the tap. And attempted to spray my friends with Tonic Water. And knocked over that giant stack of glasses….

To My Best Friend: I am sorry that I bit your hand when you tried to take my falafel away from me. Yes, I know I said we would share. I am also sorry that I stole your shoe…and drank a beer out of it. And that I peed in your garbage can. Oh, wait. That was your sock drawer? My bad.

To My Friends: I am sorry that I called your girlfriend “Gorilla”…to her face (but I am more sorry that you are dating such a mess). Sorry that I brought that random dude back to the apartment and accidentally took him to your room. I will wash your sheets…and rug. Oh, and your teddy bear. Read More »

For some reason, all the men I encounter lately consider awkward to be the new hot thing in the art of pick-up lines. I’m not sure who these work on, or if they really do, ever, but something must be inspiring people to come up with gems like the following. Maybe it’s that crappy Pick Up Artist?

1.“You intimidate me because you’re [insert your ethnicity here].” Hi, try responding to that—when you’re clearly not interested—without sounding like a complete racist. I deserve a drink from the bartender just for being made to feel that uncomfortable, thanks.
2. “You look like you should be on that show So You Think You Can Dance.” Caveat here is, if you are not dancing in any way, shape, or form. I’m wearing shorts and 4-inch heels, these aren’t exactly my dancing shoes, but thanks? Read More »

I am feeling sick. Hungover sick. The sad part? I only had two beers and a shot last night. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. But I am.

I spent all day yesterday looking forward to midnight. I got all dolled up and went downtown to a show–which was so pretentious buzz indie rock that I was suffocating soberly in a room filled with drunken hipsters. At midnight, some gentleman friends of mine took me to a bar for a drink.

A cold, fizzy beer thrilled my lips more than any part of any male has probably ever done. I finished the beer and it was time to move on to another bar down the street. And everyone there was SO HIP. No, I don’t mean to sound like a sarcastic b*tch, but I just loathe walking into any place where people stare me down because they’re trying to figure out WHO I am. It’s so L.A. and I wish that kind of stuff would just stay in L.A.

After waiting for the bartender to attend to my off the wagon needs for twenty minutes…I was really starting to wonder what all of the fuss was about. All of that ridiculous waiting while the sad looking hippie girl, who undoubtedly thought she was the one who invented dangling earrings, was elbowing me in the boob…it all seemed a little silly for a simple PBR. Read More »

It’s about 8 AM on a Sunday and you’re half-awake, rolling over in bed to get comfortable again.

“Uhh, where am I? Sh*t, who is this guy? Where is my underwear?”

Another blacked-out night on the town. No shame, I’ve had my fair share, but from time to time I wonder if I had equal chances of waking up in a ditch in Jersey. As a former bartender (and current bar-hopper) I’ve gotten to know a lot of people and their drinking habits. As a result I picked up a lot of ways to keep the boozin’ under control.

There is obviously the option to watch the clock and literally make sure you don’t exceed your alotted dph (drinks per hour). 12 oz. of beer, 4 oz. of wine, and 1 oz. of 80 proof liquor all take about an hour for your body to metabolize, so you can go ahead and do the math on that versus how long you plan on drinking and how good you want to feel.

This won’t work at a party, but if you’re at a bar, do not open a tab. It’s a fabulous way to drink too much and blow more money than you intended. This is my personal downfall. I recommend using cash. You can bring a limited amount, forcing you to stop when it’s gone. Although, if you make the bartenders run your card every single time you buy a round, they might stop serving you anyway. Read More »

I love Almond Joys. They’re basically my favorite candy bar. Coconut, almonds (for protein!), and chocolate, there’s no better combination in this world.

(Unless it’s Jake Gyllenhaal, Ryan Gosling and chocolate)

One of the best bartenders I know gave me this recipe, and I’ve tried it a few times myself. It’s definitely sweet, not something to get wasted on, but just perfect for those Saturday night BBQ’s or the beginning of a girl’s night out.

Almond Joy Shot

• 3 oz. Malibu Rum
• 1.5 oz. Amaretto
• 1 oz. Chocolate Liqueur
• 1 oz. Baileys Irish Cream
• Chocolate Syrup
• Whipped Cream

Add the Malibu, Chocolate Liqueur, Amaretto, and Baileys to a shaker with ice. Shake about 6 times (try not to over-mix, the individual flavors will get muddled), and then pour into shot glasses. Drizzle a little whipped cream and chocolate syrup on top and you’re good to go!

…And always remember to drink responsibly. Cute bartenders never go for the drunk girls.