Yom Kippur is all about reflection. So, I spent a good portion of yesterday in synagogue reflecting on things I have done over the past year in an effort to clean my slate and ask God for forgiveness. I usually try not to regret those things that I have done, but that is not always possible, especially when alcohol is involved.

1. I regret that time I met a guy at a bar and did some naughty things at a very public table. That other people may have been sitting at. And the bar also happened to be a restaurant. And it was definitely not sanitary.

2. I regret purchasing condoms while drunk and choosing that the ones that glow in the dark/have spikes “for her enjoyment.” I did not enjoy them that night, nor did I enjoy the way those spikes made me feel for the next 3 days.

3. I regret thinking hooking up in a boy’s bathroom was “hot” – it was not. In fact, it was dirty, moldy and didn’t have a lock. So, with that, I regret that guy’s roommates walking in and getting quite a show.

4. I regret hooking up in my roommate’s bed because she then hooked up in my bed in retaliation…and made a much bigger mess. Read More »

The bartender’s calling last call, but the night is still young. You’ve been chatting it up with a great guy all night, and you’re both ready to go beyond friendship and polite conversation. The question isn’t are you going to hook up? The question is where.

His Place
Pro: You don’t have to worry about the pile of dirty laundry on your bedroom floor.
Con: You have no idea if he has to worry about the pile of dirty laundry on his bedroom floor.

Your Place
Pro: You can easily access your toothbrush and contact lens solution.
Con: He can easily access all of the secrets of your medicine cabinet.

His Place
Pro: You don’t have to worry about waking up/sexiling your roommate.
Con: You have to worry about his roommates.

Your Place
Pro: You won’t have to take a walk of shame in the morning.
Con: You risk your entire floor seeing him leave your room. Read More »

The dorm. The 18×10 space you are crammed into with another girl, who may or may not be a complete stranger, depending on your housing situation. It’s hard enough to keep your notebooks and gym clothes on “your” side of the room when it’s just the two of you…try throwing a relationship into the picture.

Suddenly, you and your roommate are juggling class schedules, study time, piles of laundry, the remote control, and trying to throw intimate time with a guy into the mix. It can be rough, but it can be done. You just need to remain respectful of your roommate, and follow some simple steps to sexile (and be sexiled) without spitefully poking pinholes in each other’s condoms.

1. Have “The Talk.”
Tell your roommate what’s going on. If you move in, and you’re already in a relationship, be honest. Tell her your boyfriend will be coming up one weekend a month, and ask if you can arrange some private time in the room. If you’re single but have a prospect, tell your roommate that you have a date on Friday and ask if she has plans, just in case.

Do not get separated at a party and call your roommate at 3 a.m. to tell her you’re already stumbling home with a boy in tow. Read More »

Being hungover generally sucks, lets face it. The only place I want to be (and I’m sure this goes for you as well) is in bed, with the blinds closed, watching cheesy made for TV movies and eating my favorite hangover foods.

Unfortunately, my life is not very conducive to being hungover, and forces me to inevitably be anywhere but in bed on those days when I swear off drinking for good. If you’ve ever been hungover, chances are you’ve been forced to be somewhere you absolutely did not want to be at the time. I present the short list of the worst places to be while hungover. Read More »

When I saw the headline on Lifehacker, I had to click on it: “Sleep Deprivation Isn’t a Badge of Honor.” Um, what? I have to admit, I’ve been known to brag about the lack of sleep I get. “Oh you know, I didn’t go to bed until 4 a.m. and then got up at 8 a.m. but I feel great!” Maybe that has something to do with the 8 cups of coffee I chugged. Or maybe I’m Super Woman, right?

Most of us have been there. Whether it’s in college or at our first high-stress job. Sometimes going to bed at a reasonable hour just doesn’t seem possible. And our society tends to value people who don’t need a lot of sleep, while those who require 8+ hours are seen as weak. I honestly don’t understand where people find 8 hours every day to sleep. I know they say it’s important, but I don’t need it, do I?

The article came from a blog called Signal vs. Noise and highlights some of the problems that can incur due to lack of sleep, including stubbornness, lack of creativity, diminished morale, and irritability. Yes, yes, yes, and yes. I get all of those things when I don’t sleep enough. But I also get them if I don’t get all my work done. So, what’s a girl to do?

Allegedly, we’ll be more productive if we get enough sleep, thus allowing us to kill two birds with one stone: Get enough sleep AND get all our work done. Who knew?

I guess it’s worth a shot. I think I’ll head off to bed right now. Just as soon as I finish up a few more things. Er, maybe they can wait until morning?

The crazyass cult the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (that we first wrote about HERE), a polygamist group that split off from the Mormons, apparently had a bed in their freaking temple.

This bed was used to eff girls under 17 immediately after their marriage to middle-aged men.

The temple in question was on the Eldorado (note: they pronounce it “el-dor-AY-do,” which I find hysterical in that very sad, scary kind of way) Compound in Eldorado, Texas. It was recently raided by the authorities.

And by authorities, I mean the actual legal authorities and not the nutbags who had created this masogynistic society within. Read More »

Let’s thank Hannah Montana for this one

OMG. THIS ELEPHANT. IS PAINTING. A SELF-PORTRAIT.

“The Hills” are alive…with legit life lessons

This just in: Paris Hilton wants to buy the world

Does this lawsuit match my bag?

You know, I’d rather sleep with Rob Lowe in his bed

Sometimes, you just crave some fried penis

Seriously, someone needs to take away their camera

Proof that Coldplay is really boring

I’m not all that affectionate with guys, even with boyfriends, and I think PDA’s are lame, but there’s nothing I like better than a good spoon.

Spooning makes me feel all warm inside, like a cozy cup of cocoa on a chilly winter’s eve. Too much?

One morning, I was in bed with a guy I had taken home the *very* drunken night before. We were just laying there, face-to-face and disgustingly dehydrated, and that’s always a very awkward thing when you haven’t brushed your teeth and don’t even remember where the hell he came from in the first place. Oh, I remember….the bar.

Anyway, I turned over on my side, my back facing him, in hopes it would alleviate the awkwardness, and that’s when I felt The Spoon take over. The warm embrace of two people who barely know each other, but somehow feel comfortable enough to wrap their unclothed bodies around one another like a cute little pretzel. I was instantly calm again. And then, as we laid there in the silent thick of Spoon, he said the most adorable thing:

“I wish they made beds that made it easier to do this. My arm f*cking hurts.”

A thought so eloquently put. But really, this guy was certainly on to something here. So on, in fact, that he will be happy to know, that there IS such a bed! Another frustrated spooner named Mehdi Mojtabvi has created The Love Mattress for all of our spooning needs. Read More »