If you watched the VP debate last night you heard a lot about Sarah Palin’s BFF, Joe Six Pack. But who is he? What does he like? What does he do?

We don’t know Joe Six Pack personally (though we have hooked up with his cousin, Mark Quarter Barrel…who could not keep it up), but we imagine he’d be something like this:

Description:
5′11, brown hair, brown eyes, some sort of facial hair, big hands and a tattoo of some sort (possibly his kids’ initials) on his upper arm. No actual six pack to be seen behind the slight beer belly hanging over the top of his ill-fitting denim. Read More »

[Every week, CC and John will bring you some of the wierdest, funniest, saddest things he hears on his college campus.  Join the Overheard revolution!  Leave your own overheard convos in the comments.]

“Is that your phone?”
“Yeah.”
“You have a pink phone?”
“Mmhm.”
“Is it, like, your girlfriend’s phone?”"
“Nope.”
“Seriously?”
“Yup.”

Found in a dining hall, on a piece of paper shoved into a napkin dispenser:
“Students! Rise up! Class riot today, 3:00 in the courtyard. Refreshments will be served.”

Two in the morning - a pair of legs is poking out of a broken window. Two guys in striped hipster hoodies are standing nearby, craning their necks to look in.
“No, no,” say the legs. “This isn’t going to work. I’ll still be locked out, I’ll just be locked out inside.”

Ten or so sweaty people in t-shirts and tank tops are clustered around a cooler. One guy lifts the top off the cooler and dumps some colored powder in.
“What was that?” asks one, confused.
“Nothing,” says the dumper. “Just drink the Kool-aid.”

There’s a commotion outside, in the hallway. I poke my head out. A man is sprinting down the hallway with his sweater unzipped, a rhinestone necklace bouncing on his exposed chest hair, and his mouth wrapped tightly around a beer bottle. Read More »

With football season well underway, I bet I can guess how a lot of your Saturdays pan out:

7 a.m.: Wake up. Still drunk from the bar last night? Mayyyybe.

9 a.m.: Arrive at the football stadium; crack your first beer.

9 a.m.-Noon: Tailgate your face off. Tailgating activities may or may not include: Beer pong, funneling, shotgunning, and general raging.

Noon: Kickoff. You’re highly buzzed, but still careful not to spill your overpriced stadium beer as you shake your foam finger at the other team.

7 p.m.: You pass out. Hey, it was a long day, man.

Now that’s what I call a waste of a Saturday night. I know that rallying for almost 12 hours straight can take its toll. Especially when you’re running on a few hours of sleep after a killer Friday night. But if you pace yourself, and plan your evening effectively, there’s no reason that you can’t take in both the football game and a killer kegger (or two). Read More »

First Britney Spears created a perfume. Then Jessica Simpson started designing clothes. Then Lindsay Lohan threatened to bring us leggings with built-in knee pads….

And now Kid Rock will be brewing beer?!

WTF is up with celebrities trying to do it all? Just because you are good at rocking the stage (or mediocre at best, if you are Jessica Simpson) doesn’t mean that you know how to design bedding. Or a nice smelling perfume.

And just because you happen to drink a lot of beer doesn’t mean that you should start brewing it. I drink a lot of beer; do you see me coming out with a Wolverine Brew? No! Because while I know how to consume beer quickly (beer pong), I don’t know the first thing about brewing mother f–king beer.

What’s next? Paris Hilton uses a ton of condoms (I imagine); is she gonna launch a line of Paris Couture Condoms? Is Britney Spears going to release her very own Spears-Anti-Psyhoctic meds? Will Snoop Dog create his own Super Snoop Weed?

Kid, I think you are pretty good on stage, but I don’t think you really have it in you to create a beer. I mean, you are Kid Rock for God’s sake; your lifestyle is more aligned with trailers and chewing tobacco than with a nice, smooth brew. We already have Keystone, Schlitz and PBR; do we really need another low quality keg?

Would you drink Kid Rock Beer?

Wanna see more celebrity stupidity? Join our Facebook group and we’ll update you on all the dumb sh*t celebrities are doin’!

You’re biting into a big juicy hamburger and what do you crave to go along with it? French Fries? Boring.

You know what would really spice that meal up? Onion rings! Unfortunately, those little rings of fried goodness are not always an option when you’re eating at your favorite hamburger joint. And you cry.

But wipe those tears, sister. Say TTFN to that restaurant and head home to whip up your own tasty onion rings. Why not? They’re delish, easy…and they involve beer! Read More »

This was a strange week. Really strange.

“First my mom (and a whole bunch of old people) joined Facebook. Then I find out that women don’t orgasm during sex, TRL decides to close its doors, dudes like having sex when their lady is on the rag and Hugh Hefner lost one of his ladies to a magician?

Sarah Palin’s email was hacked into.
I had some plastic thing shoved into my baby maker.
My friend got a man and I got jealous.

Is it a full moon or something?

I definitely need a drink, but do I go to a house party for free booze, or the bar for a better scene? Or maybe I shouldn’t even get dolled up and stay home to bake a pie with rum instead.

Hm. The pie isn’t a good idea, especially since I only pretend to work out and I want to make sure to fit into some awesome new runway inspired duds. And maybe the bar isn’t a good idea either, considering the future of my wallet is totally unknown.

I’ll just have my boys pick up a 30 pack. Pure bliss.

Friday night: You’re at a crowded bar, and have to pee. Fearing the toilet seat, you pop a squat, clench your thigh muscles and hold onto the walls while you unleash your last five beers. You make sure you wash your hands (sometimes twice, depending on how filthy the pub is), and maybe even reach into your purse for some hand sanitizer, just to be safe.

Saturday night: You’re at a frat party. You just won three consecutive games of beer pong. You don’t think twice about drinking your cups, despite the fact that you’ve seen the ball land in other peoples’ used cups, roll along the basement floor, and watched the ball pass between thirty-something unwashed hands.

What gives?!?

Obviously, beer pong isn’t the most sanitary party game out there. But you have the “water cup,” right? That cup of tepid, dirty water is totes gonna disinfect that old, recycled ping pong ball (that was most likely found under someone’s bed 10 minutes before party time). Or not.

Some microbiology students at George Washington University decided to test exactly how detrimental to your health beer pong can be. If you like beer pong, you may want to skip this article. Read More »

When I started college my freshman year, I was NOT a drinker. I repeat: I was not a drinker.

After having, literally, maybe three beers all of high school (not a prude, just didn’t care for the taste of what was given to me), I came into college a drinking virgin and very quickly had to learn what my limit was. (Basically, by exceeding my limit night after night after night…) I had to learn what I liked to drink, how much and how frequently.

After downing five shots of Rubinoff in ten minutes and blacking out, punching my roommate in the face, puking all over the communal bathroom, changing in front of a guy friend of mine and destroying my laundry clothes rack (after falling into it), I knew I had to take this experiment with drinking a little differently. So I made a few rules.

In order to spare you from the same embarassment and loss of precious laundry racks, I thought it was a good idea to share these rules with you. You can follow all of them, or some of them; whichever you choose, just remember to take it slow. Real slow.

1. No shots of cheap, nasty tasting alcohol. If you wanna do shots, make it one (maybe two, who we kiddin’?), not five or six or seventeen… and never use Rubinoff.
2. Do NOT mix. Start the night with one drink and keep at it until you’re through. Mixing creates a whirlwind of different types of drunk that normally left me hungover and puking the next morning.
3. If you drink liquor (over beer), drink slower. For many – like myself – liquor (i.e., vodka, rum, etc) does a number on you quicker than a few beers. So, if you decide to brave the evening with some Rum and Cokes, make sure you pace yourself so you don’t end up hugging the toilet. Read More »