Since my surgery last week (I’ll spare you the details, but it sucked. SUCKED), I haven’t been doing a lot besides popping pain pills and watching TV. I’ve watched so much TV in the last 9 days that I’m seeing not just repeats, but thrice-peats, on every single channel.
Because nighttime is the worst, I tend to be unable to move enough to even change the channel, thus rendering me helpless to my parents’ whims and the oddness this Nation televises every four years: The Democratic Convention.
Politics often mystify me, even though I try to learn as much as I can from a few different outlets, so I was prepared to feel stupid in the wake of so much government and strategy mumbo jumbo (plus, I was taking a lot of pain meds the last three nights…they make the world seem complicated). But instead of feeling like a lame invalid who knows nothing, I felt something stronger rising up in my chest (and no it was not barf) — I felt laughter. Incredulous laughter at the sheer ridiculous of this political phenomenon.
If you haven’t caught the Convention yet — and you really should because stupid or not it is history — let me break down how most of the speeches go:
Democrat (usually a Senator, Senator’s wife, or, if it was last night, the Vice Presidential nominee): I am proud (applause) of being a Democrat (GIANT APPLAUSE) and thanks to all of you (applause) for being such damn good human beings (applause) and believing that this country has turned to sh*t under Republican rule! (GIANT APPLAUSE). Barak (applause) Obama (APPLAUSE) is our future (Applause lasting 5 minutes) and John McCain (boos) loves Bush (GIANT BOOS) and is old (applause) and wants to stay in the old way of thinking. (boos) YES BARAK OBAMA!! (Giant applause and shot of Bill Clinton with his mouth open) Read More »






With everyone making such a fuss over Hillary Clinton’s spouse in regard to her shot at being the man of the house; it only seems fair to me that Michelle Obama be dragged out to the boxing ring and forced to show us what she is made of, too.
Hillary Clinton’s new campaign ad mocking the finale of one of television’s most popular dramas has been causing a stir in the pre-election candidate market. In this clever spoof, Hillary and Bill take on the roles of Tony and Carmela by sitting at a table in mock New Jersey diner, while Chelsea is seen through the front window attempting to parallel park her car Meadow-style. Hillary’s campaign song comes on the jukebox and the screen fades to black. How clever.