Bristol Palin\'s Baby. Scary.

So, I’m tired this morning. All that Democrat bashing
and baby hair licking at the Republican National Convention last night kept me up late. Since I can’t
get productive until this Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte
kicks in (yes, they are back!), I decided to peruse
the interwebs for awhile. And boy did I find a gem.

Read More... 

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Applause + Crazy Glasses + Redonk = The Democratic Convention

_44961778_d0df7a71-aa40-424d-a1da-8bf1791713c9.jpgSince my surgery last week (I’ll spare you the details, but it sucked. SUCKED), I haven’t been doing a lot besides popping pain pills and watching TV. I’ve watched so much TV in the last 9 days that I’m seeing not just repeats, but thrice-peats, on every single channel.

Because nighttime is the worst, I tend to be unable to move enough to even change the channel, thus rendering me helpless to my parents’ whims and the oddness this Nation televises every four years: The Democratic Convention.

Politics often mystify me, even though I try to learn as much as I can from a few different outlets, so I was prepared to feel stupid in the wake of so much government and strategy mumbo jumbo (plus, I was taking a lot of pain meds the last three nights…they make the world seem complicated). But instead of feeling like a lame invalid who knows nothing, I felt something stronger rising up in my chest (and no it was not barf) — I felt laughter. Incredulous laughter at the sheer ridiculous of this political phenomenon.

If you haven’t caught the Convention yet — and you really should because stupid or not it is history — let me break down how most of the speeches go:

Democrat (usually a Senator, Senator’s wife, or, if it was last night, the Vice Presidential nominee): I am proud (applause) of being a Democrat (GIANT APPLAUSE) and thanks to all of you (applause) for being such damn good human beings (applause) and believing that this country has turned to sh*t under Republican rule! (GIANT APPLAUSE). Barak (applause) Obama (APPLAUSE) is our future (Applause lasting 5 minutes) and John McCain (boos) loves Bush (GIANT BOOS) and is old (applause) and wants to stay in the old way of thinking. (boos) YES BARAK OBAMA!! (Giant applause and shot of Bill Clinton with his mouth open) Read More »

“Hillary Clinton: Will She or Won’t She?” Stay in the Loop With CC’s Continuing Coverage of Tonights’ Primaries

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As voters in South Dakota and Montana finish voting tonight in the last democratic primary of the election, “Hillary Clinton: Will She or Won’t She?” remains the question of the hour.
According to the LA Times blog “Top of the Ticket”, the 3 factoids seem to point towards the later.

  • 1. Clinton announced on Monday that she would spend Tuesday night in New York City instead of Montana or South Dakota.
  • 2. Her husband Bill told a rally in South Dakota that, “this may be the last day I’m ever involved in a campaign of this kind. I thought I was out of politics, till Hillary decided to run. But it has been one of the greatest honors of my life to go around and campaign for her for president.”
  • 3. A Clinton spokesman told the Politico that many members of the advance team are being sent home because, “we just haven’t figured out our schedule past Tuesday”
  • Hmmmm…. Stay tuned for further updates.

    7:01pm Sixteen superdelegates have announced their support for candidate Barack Obama including former President Jimmy Carter. Obama now only needs 10 delegates to clinch the nomination.

    9:05 According to TV networks and Reuters, Barack Obama is set to claim the democratic nomination for the 2008 presidential election. He is merely 4 delegates short of the requisite 2,118 needed and is sure to pick these up from today’s primaries in Montana and South Dakota. The democratic primaries award delegates on a proportional basis.

    9:15 In South Dakota, with 14% of the precincts reporting Hillary Clinton leads Obama 8,349 votes to 6,704.

    9:45Clinton is the projected winner in South Dakota with 31% of the precincts reporting.

    10:00 In her victory speech, Senator Clinton praised her opponent for an extraordinary race but noticeably failed to concede his overall win. She told the crowd “I will be making no decisions tonight.

    10:25 Obama addressed supporters in St. Paul Minnesota stating, “Tonight, I can stand before you and say that I will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States.”

    So, dear readers, the night is drawing to a close and lets face it, so is the democratic primary. The next few days are sure to be full of debates as to just when and how Clinton lost her front-runner status to a newcomer from Chicago but for now lets savor the moment.

    Congrats Obama!!!

    Bob Barr: McCain’s New Nemesis?, CA Man Looses 10 Houses to Mortgage Crisis (and More!)

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    It’s time for the news with Kandy Korrespondent!

    For those of you who may have thought this year’s presidential race couldn’t get any crazier: Meet Mr. Bob Barr! Former Republican congressman, Bob Barr said on Monday that he would run for President as part of the libertarian ticket. He was part of the Republican Revolution in 1995 and gained notoriety for his role in the impeachment of former President Bill Clinton. He left the Republican party in 2004 and became a Libertarian in 2005 as a result of his growing disillusionment with the civil liberties-eroding Patriot Act. His entrance into the race as a third party candidate may siphon off extreme right-wingers from the McCain platform.

    Also on Monday, President Bush told the BBC that the US has plans to strengthen Lebanon’s army to enable it to disarm Hezbollah. At least 60 have died in clashes around Beirut this past week. Read More »

    The Deal With Michelle Obama

    michelle-obama-wfw-400a083007.jpgWith everyone making such a fuss over Hillary Clinton’s spouse in regard to her shot at being the man of the house; it only seems fair to me that Michelle Obama be dragged out to the boxing ring and forced to show us what she is made of, too.

    Through a complication that seems to be either really good or really bad for Hillary at all times…her husband was president. Therefore, we likely already have an established opinion of him. And, by default, unfortunately, many people will not be voting for Hillary simply because of their views of Bill.

    So if we are going to put such a heavy emphasis on the spouses of the candidates, we should all know a lot more about Michelle.

    HER HISTORY

    Michelle is American. She was raised in Chicago and went on to study at Princeton University and then attended Harvard Law School. She went back to Chicago to work as a lawyer when she completed her education.

    Okay. So far, so good. The chic is smart. She even skipped second grade. Read More »

    Politically Inept? Drink and Do Some Research

    Just like Tila Tequila… only for the Presidency.

    Like any good twenty-something, I’m on several random email lists, usually of the happy hour variety. When one of my favorite haunts in lower Manhattan emailed me about an open bar next Monday, I did a cartoon-style double-take.

    Not because I’m that excited about an open bar, but because in the subject line, this one was exclusively for supporters of Barack Obama.

    I opened said email instead of deleting immediately and read that the “suggested donation” was $25 per person, but more would be greatly appreciated, and that the proceeds would go directly to Obama’s campaign.

    Maybe I should’ve been disgusted. Instead, I was intrigued. A politician’s supporters realize a great way to get the twenty-to-thirty demographic to donate… give them booze in exchange for the donation. Unlimited alcohol—and sushi!—for four hours, even.

    Considering drinks are between $7 and $10 apiece in the city, and sushi will cost you at least $5 a roll-order… why, you’ve got dinner and a buzz in the name of being politically active. Read More »

    Don’t Stop Believing- In Hillary Clinton?

    Hillary-and-Bill-ClintonHillary Clinton’s new campaign ad mocking the finale of one of television’s most popular dramas has been causing a stir in the pre-election candidate market. In this clever spoof, Hillary and Bill take on the roles of Tony and Carmela by sitting at a table in mock New Jersey diner, while Chelsea is seen through the front window attempting to parallel park her car Meadow-style. Hillary’s campaign song comes on the jukebox and the screen fades to black. How clever.

    While this culturally savvy spoof shows Hillary’s aptitude to interpret American culture, does it showcase any of her abilities to be the president of The United States? The references made to Smash Mouth, her horrific campaign song by Celine Dion, and the overlying theme of the Sopranos make the ad mirror some type of commercial advertisement for American media. Amy recently explored the concept of candidates creating MySpaces to reach out to the youth of America in their own territory. While I appreciate the fact that Hillary is attempting to reach out to young voters who will often ignore politics in favor of entertainment, another part of me wonders whether or not I feel disrespected by having a presidential candidate marketed to me as a celebrity-like figure. Read More »

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