Sunday morning, and your mouth tastes like cotton dipped in garbage and coated in tar. You immediately regret opening your eyes, because you’re not ready for sunlight just yet. As you slowly regain consciousness, your first thought is, what happened last night?

You check your phone, and see that you dialed your ex at 1:34, your best friend at 1:52 (which is weird, because you went to the bar together), an unknown number at 2:04, and someone called “Tattoo Joe,” a name that wasn’t in your directory yesterday afternoon, at 4:23. You immediately call your BFF, and ask the question aloud: “What happened last night?”

Blacking out probably dates back to the birth of alcohol, but it has long baffled doctors, psychologists, and college students. Why does that one last drink put you over the edge, and erase hours worth of memories? Why is it pretty much impossible to tell when you’re having a conversation with someone who is currently experiencing a blackout? Britain’s Telegraph recently reported that the reason why people forget the embarrassing things they do when they are drunk has been discovered. Read More »

It’s amazing the things that inspire memories and thoughts. The smell of stale beer with a hint of garbage reminds me of my neighbor boys in college. “Kanye’s Workout Plan” reminds me of dance parties in my living room. Chinese food always reminds me of the man who masturbated outside my window while I ate dinner with my roommates.

And Jose? He doesn’t remind me of much, except nights I can’t remember.

Every week we ask our fantastic writers to weigh in on a variety of things. This week, we decided to play a little word association game. What three memories/thoughts/ideas come to mind when they hear the word Jose?

I’ll give you a hint… it involves a toilet. Or a sock drawer, for the truly unfortunate.

Alex - Cornell: Burrito, salsa dancer, sweat

Kelly - UMass: Tacos, Cuervo, Mustache

Lauren - University of Michigan: Body shots, mistakes, and the worst. hangovers. ever. Read More »

If there’s one thing I learned from Gossip Girl last night, it’s that you can have sex with whomever you want, and the person you actually have feelings for (but aren’t banging, for some reason) will completely understand, and forgive you, and maybe even like you more.

If there’s one thing I already knew, it’s that when you’re the poor, unpopular kid on the Upper East Side, your life will be a continuous cycle of being walked over, speaking your mind, putting your foot in your mouth, and then being magically forgiven and allowed to advance to the next round.

Did you miss last night’s episode? Let me fill you in.

Within the first minute of GG, Nate mentions the inevitable party that will tangle everyone up in some drama that will continue to be played out next week.

Other expected GG staples: Catherine and Nate talk money; Serena and Dan are together but have issues (did I miss them deciding to be a “secret” couple?); and Jenny has some great ideas for her fashion internship, but she’s a lowly intern and isn’t allowed to have opinions.

The best thing about the first half? The mini gossip girls who approach Dan and throw in their two cents. If you missed it, two tweeny-bopping brunettes are on Dan’s side, and one tweeny-bopping blond is on team S. The blond asks Serena how she can kiss Dan, knowing his tongue has been in Georgina’s mouth, which seems a bit much when you consider the girs were, what, 11? The tweensters were obviously comic relief, but for some reason their opinions caused an awkward rift between S and Lonely Boy…which I was over by the next commercial. Read More »

“The Dark Knight” is already my favorite movie ever

I get “blackout” to level the gender playing fields

This guy is truly the voice of a generation

Tom Hanks is a celeb endorsement I’d trust

Isn’t bird poo on your face normally a bad thing?

Jason Mraz, I love your words–but are they yours?

Admirable: Britney Spears stays grounded…even in flight!

Yay, Seth MacFarlane is stickin’ around

Planning a wedding is no easy task

Another “The Hills” parody–this time, with Lo!

If there’s one thing in this world I know, it’s this: You gotta know your limit.

I don’t mean like how smart you are or how hard to push yourself when you’re working out or anything trivial like that. I’m talking about knowing how much you can drink.

One day a few months ago, a friend invited me out for a night of dancing and fun. I thought, hey, yes, I like dancing and fun. This will be excellent.

Cut to me four hours later in a blackout state, still dancing but question mark else? I don’t know because I was f*&cking wasted.

All I know is, I threw up in the bathroom of that club. And then I threw up in a diner afterwards. Twice. And then I think I took a cab home and went to sleep, but I know for sure that four hours later, I woke up and puked on and off for five hours, into my toilet, into plastic grocery bags, and all over myself. In fact, I vommed so much I burst a blood vessel, giving myself what I have affectionately termed zombeye. Zombeye, a bright red bloody eye, lasted two entire weeks. Read More »

Britney Spears: Piece of Me

Well, it’s out and you have to admit…everything about Brit’s newest single is pretty darn catchy. Like it, too? Get it here!

Calling all film majors! Think you know how Britney’s next video for “Piece of Me” should look? MTV wants you to direct it!

MTV’s “Britney Spears wants a Piece of You” contest kicks off on Monday and is calling for die-hard Britney fans to put together a video counterpart to the official video Brit shot this week. But what if you’ve never submitted anything to YouTube? (get with it, people!) It’s no problem.

To enter the contest all you have to do is download the MTV Video Remixer. Then you pick the shots you wants to use, mash them together and –viola!– you’ve got a submission! The video can be up to 3:34 in length and the winner will premiere on TRL on December 20th.

But you better get on it quick! Entries are due by December 14.

Having your video premiere on TRL is cool and all, but the true prize is having your video premiere before the official one. That won’t surface until January.

Britney Spears is lazy and slow? Shocking.

It’s Friday. I’m tired, you’re tired and it was Halloween this week which means we all have hangovers to get over! Sigh. After work/exams/class of course.

So here is a little gossip to keep your blues at bay until the weekend finally comes!

• Ashley Olsen was spotted sucking face with Lance Armstrong at an NYC Hotel Bar on Monday. Apparently, they left together around 2 am. This Sunday, Lance will be partying down with his foundation at the restaurant where I work and if Ashley Olsen shows up, I might just pee my pants. (NY Post)

• Roberto Cavalli confirmed to the press that J.Lo is prego and he has been designing clothes for her as she grows. All this took place at the launch of his new Vodka. Yes, Vodka. Now we all knew J.Lo was preggers but what I want to know is why Roberto Cavalli is selling vodka. Last time I checked, fashion designers and disterllies had little in common. (People)

• The Catholics are fired up at Britney for pictures appearing in her new CD. In one, Britney is confessing, in the next she’s sitting on the priests lap. It’s about the only press she is getting from her new album since Jive has totally given up on her doing any promo for Blackout. And the courts agree she is still a bad mom. Oh, Britney. (ET Online, NY Daily News) Read More »