Ladies of the world: stop your farting. Also, stop burping, spitting, sweating, and digesting food. Details writer John Sellers has spoken, and it’s bad news: we are not getting him off.

I know! I know! Everything that I do is intended to give John Sellers – and, by extension, all men – raging boners. I think of him all day long, from selecting my outfit in the morning until the moment that I slip between the covers to dream of his sweet, manly embrace. I imagine that it’s much the same for you. He is Details writer John Sellers, for God’s sake. The female half of the world hangs on his every byline.

Yet, in his recent piece, “The Hollywood Gross-Out Girls,” it’s clear that we have failed him greatly. It’s ostensibly about women who make fart jokes (or burp jokes, or poop jokes, etc.) and how horrible they are. (I know, right? Having a functional set of organs is totally grody. It’s even worse when women aren’t ashamed of their own bodies! Yuck.) Yet its underlying theme is far simpler: J.S. wants women – all women – to know that their purpose in life is to turn him on.

“It would be one thing if these female Shreks were cut from the same cloth as Roseanne Barr or Rosie O’Donnell,” he writes. “But the trouble is they’re all smoking hot. It’s their job to primp and preen and push stuff up to look sexy.” Read More »

So, have you heard about Josh Stein and Emily Gould?

Don’t worry. You will. And soon.

The New York Times Magazine is running a cover piece by Gould this Sunday. It’s ostensibly about “the dangers of oversharing on the Internet,” and is actually the culmination of a breakup sadder and less significant than anyone could possibly imagine. The story goes like this:

Josh blogged. Emily blogged. They blogged together on Gawker. They screwed. She blogged about them screwing. He read her blog about them screwing. He wrote an article about her blogging about them screwing. She wrote an article about his article about her blogging about them screwing. Gawker blogged about her article about his article about her blogging about them screwing, and so the whole universe devoured
itself, as in the end of Southland Tales when the two Seann William Scotts finally meet, thereby creating a rift in the time/space continuum.

This, by the way, is why my boyfriend is not allowed to read CollegeCandy. Read More »

You, dear reader, are no doubt a person of many and varied opinions. But, like many of us, you may find that life doesn’t offer you enough opportunities to share those opinions with strangers. We have the solution! Did you know that you can inflict your views on an audience of thousands, simply by commenting on the internet?

Yes, it’s true. By commenting on any given blog post, you can preserve your thoughts for history, whilst simultaneously impressing your peers. Yet it’s not as easy as one might think. In order to really stand out on the internet, you must follow these simple rules.

1: Use emoticons. If you don’t include a smiley face, how will people know that you’re smiling? After all, it’s not as if you can use words to convey emotion.

2: You are a person of passionate conviction – conviction which you must convey to your audience. We’ve already established that language is useless. SO JUST TYPE IN ALL CAPS. Read More »

One of my esteemed colleagues wrote a great piece on texting etiquette. I recently wrote a biting piece about Papa Joe. This piece is about etiquette, too. After reading my Papa Joe piece (hopefully they read it in its entirety), a commentator, named ‘Haha,’ quipped, “you’re just a jealous peon,” to which I replied (in two posts) “nope, Haha, sure ain’t . . . I’m glad [the Simpsons are] rich. That’s great for them. But their father is a tool. Oh, one other thing . . . I LOVE the word peon. It’s great fun, conjures up great images . . . thanks!”

First, I do love the word peon. It’s nasty. It’s blunt. It’s cutting. People don’t use the word peon a lot, so I liked the reminder that the word peon exists. Reminds me of my old father (he’s a judge). He calls people peons and ninnies all the time – those words are funny, and I always chuckle when he coughs them up. BUT I digress (you’re probably getting used to that).

Now some of my fellow bloggers might wonder why I waste my time responding to remarks, whether good or bad, and why I’m even bothering to write this piece. Well, first off, I wish to thank Haha for inspiring me to do so. Because I’ve spent a lot of time (yes, it’s true) thinking about internet etiquette, how people are quick to insult (yes, I’m just as guilty, stirrin’ up crap, criticizing Mr. Simpson, etc.), name-calling, and even verbally terrorizing others on web posts. Read More »

Again, like Abigail of Syracuse before me, I will preface this post by saying no, I am not the author of Confessions of a College Callgirl. So now that’s cleared, lets get right to my bitch.

Are we really serious with this?
Honestly?

For those of you who don’t know, Confessions of a College Callgirl is a blog about a girl, presumably in college, who works as a prostitute for her source of income. Feel free to do your own research, then come back and see whether or not you agree with me.

I’ve been perusing a bunch of her blogs. I probably could do a really amazing research paper with this if I really wanted. I also could probably decide if I thought everything she said was legit truth or not. As of right now…I do think she’s actually doing some of this stuff. I don’t think she’s fabricating all of it…I just think she’s fabricating a LOT. Read More »

Admit it: you love Facebook. And MySpace. Maybe you have a blog, or you comment on one. Blogs and social networking sites are a great way to keep in touch with friends and family, post pictures and pontificate on your latest drama.

But who ELSE is keeping track of your online persona?

Well, for one, your future employer. By now you’ve probably heard that many HR people head straight to Facebook or MySpace after that big interview you thought you nailed. Maybe you never got around to removing “getting wasted” from your interests, or de-tagging that picture of you with a cigarette in one had and a drink in the other. Things like these are warning signs to future bosses–if they think you spend most of your time drinking and smoking, they’re going to wonder whether or not it will affect your job performance.

What about a work blog? My friend, lets call her…Jonie, kept a blog while working as an assistant for a crazy financial guy. It was juicy and hilarious and a great read and…she got caught. She didn’t get fired, but she pretty much had to resign soon after. She never used her own name on the blog, nor did she use her boss’s name or the company’s information. But somehow her boss got a hold of the link, and he knew right away who it was about. Busted, big time. Read More »

One of the hardest things about committing to a diet and staying on track is remaining motivated throughout the tough times. Going through a break up or just didn’t do so hot on a big exam? Eating junk food and sweets is a really easy way to deal with your emotions. But, unfortunately, they are only a temporary satisfaction that will probably leave you feeling even worse than you did to begin with.

A great way to remain positive and keep your new lifestyle change at the forefront of your brain is to read diet and nutrition blogs. Other than following my fellow CC girl, Olua’s, kick ass weight loss journey posts, here are a few of my favorites to check out on a regular basis:

-Body By Glamour Weight Loss blog - A Glamour magazine staffer takes us along on her quest to lose weight and tranform her life. Packed with great tips and personal anecdotes that almost every girl can relate to, this blog is an entertaining and helpful resource for anyone struggling to take off extra pounds.

-Diet Blog - This outlet tends to focus more on the scientific research and studies behind new diet trends, fads, or products. An extremely informative spot with well written and objective pieces on all aspects of nutrition and weight loss.

Read More »

Thin may be in on the runways, but the blogosphere is providing heavy men and women with a place to inspire each other–not to try the latest fad diet or lose that last 5 pounds, but to accept themselves as they are.

The fat acceptance movement has been growing steadily in response to the dwindling sizes of models, celebrities, and the average man or women who feels pressured to live up to those unrealistic standards. The primary message behind fat acceptance is one of health, not excess or loss of control. Because tools like BMI calculators do not take into account frame size or muscle percentage, many athletes and other healthy people are categorized as fat or even obese. This has contributed to shock figures like “6 out of 10 Americans are overweight“. Read More »

“What the F$%k is an AVATAR?“, I thought to myself just a little over a year ago. My nine-year-old nephew told me that he’d bet $5 that his avatar online was cooler than mine. Considering mine would have been a lost girl drawing a….total blank….he was probably right.

Having felt embarrassingly ignorant to this concept once myself, I’m gonna score some karma points by giving you the rundown of what exactly all these nine-year-olds are talking about.

Avatar, in Hindu philosophy, actually means a bodily manifestation. The concept isn’t so glamorous when applied to the internet and computing, though. While an avatar is still a bodily manifestation of some sort when on the internet, it’s more like a cartoon character that you pick to represent yourself rather than a higher being.

The whole craze actually started in 1985 with a computer game called Ultima. The “avatar” was the visual on-screen persona of the player. Nowadays, everyone from elementary school kids to grandparents looking to find friends online have become familiar with this concept. Read More »

Welcome the first of many recap parties for VH1’s Rock of Love 2. I’d like to thank you for reading this because it means that on some level, you share a love (whether open or closeted) for craptacular television.

But let’s get started, shall we?

Episode one is almost aptly named ‘Back on the Horse.’ Certain gossip blogs were kind of enough to post pictures of the contestants before the show’s premiere. Neigh. Is that the sound that horses make? It’s been a long time since pre-school.

I must admit that I was pulling for Brett in the first season. Despite the fact that Poison sucked and that he at times looks like a transvestite when he removes the bandana, I thought among the strippers in the house he’d find one with a heart of gold. Well, he did, but I digress…

In the beginning of the episode, Brett pulls up to the mansion and his hair looks like it was made in the Mattel factory. The girls don’t notice how unnaturally long or synthetic it is and cheer upon his arrival. Read More »