I’m not a vegetarian, but I like to eat like one. I’m very picky with meats (I don’t eat seafood, beef, or pork); I try to eat healthy (even though I typically consume the calories I cut throughout the week in weekend drinking binges); and, most importantly, I’m a horrible cook, so I’d rather microwave a faux-chicken cutlet than get salmonella from undercooking a juicy piece of pollo.

A recent issue of Shape magazine suggested eating vegetarian once a week, and I was like, “Heyyy I already do that! I rock!” They also featured a mouthwatering recipe for vegetarian paella. That’s not going to happen. So, whether you’re a carnivore or a herbivore, trying to shave some calories from your diet, or too busy to slave over a hot stove, I give you vegetarian meals in five minutes or less. All you need is a microwave.

1. Boca Meatless Chili
You need:
–Boca Meatless Chili, from the freezer section of your grocery store.
–2 slices of whole wheat bread

*Zap the chili for three minutes, stir, and nuke for one more minute.
*While the chili is in the microwave, pop the whole wheat bread in the toaster.
*Cut the whole wheat toast in quarters, top with tasty chili, and enjoy! Read More »

Here begins day two of my week attempting to eat like a vegan:

Breakfast: Oatmeal. Again.

Lunch: My quick-fix meal, a ham and cheese sandwich, is out, so I just munch on grapes, dried fruit, and nuts. I feel like a Greek god, but not at all full.

Dinner: I pull out the big guns for dinner. I go to Whole Food’s and do a massive shopping by following a list I compiled using recipes found on allrecipes.com. The total comes out to $120. Turns out tofu is more expensive than I thought it would be. I get home and I do the unthinkable: I cook for myself. I mix and simmer and stir. I make a total mess, but it actually feels really good to slave over a hot stove for an hour.

The end result? A meaty (thank you, Boca!), spicy, filling vegan chili. I put some of the chili in a tortilla for a vegan burrito thing, and it’s delicious. I pour some in a bowl and eat it, and when I go to put it in a Tupperware container, I end up eating some of it right out of the pot, always a good sign! Read More »