In response to yesterday’s list of 13 Truths About Women, we weren’t sure what to do. Do we respond to their “truths”? Maybe give them a little real information on women, instead of that bullsh*t they came up with?Or, do we go ahead and enlighten the world with some truths about men? Things we know to be true and think everyone should know when dealing with these….creatures.

We went with the latter. So, here they are: 13 Truths About Men That They Will Lie About Until They Die, But We Are Insightful Enough to Figure Out No Matter How Much They Deny:
(We must note, however, that, unlike men, we realize that all these truths can’t possible apply to all men. But they do show up, in some combination, in every single one.)

1. Sex Is Always a Top Priority: Guys often will try to make women believe that they are sensitive and don’t care about sex (“I want to talk!”), but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Sex is always number 1. Over sports. Over work. Over you. Over your relationship when he is in another city and a cute girl starts talking to him. Over his family. Over his health. If sex is an option, he will be taking it. And if sex is an option without a condom, he will be taking it in the 2.5 seconds it takes to rip your clothes off. No time to consider the repercussions, because those don’t matter when he can do it without the burden of a condom! Read More »

So 2007 was ruled by your sex-crazed alter-ego. Somehow she coerced you to collect most of those notches on your bed post.

Maybe it was a new-found freedom or maybe it was your secret desire to experience the “Samantha Jones” lifestyle that spawned the behavior. Either way, you’re ready to put her to rest this year and turn over a new leaf.

Letting go of those sexual patterns won’t be easy; after all, the “Sam” in you is likely to put up a fight.

Regain control by first promising yourself that you’ll lay off the guys for a full month. Make your nights out all about the girls; not finding a hot frat boy to go home with. Worried that you’ll slip up? Tell your friends to keep an eye on you. Above all, give them permission to remind you of your resolution or take you home on account of bad behavior. Read More »

I spent this past weekend reuniting with my college girls in Washington D.C. and it was absolutely fabulous. We spent our days looking through pictures, eating Oreo’s and hanging out and our evenings drinking and dancing at various bars around town. It was just like college, except for one major difference.

One night as I was making my way to the bar to re-stock on some Amstel Light, a tall lad struck up conversation with me. We talked as we waiting in the monstrous line and even after we had procured our drinks of choice. He was cute – tall, dark, good jeans – and I was really enjoying his company. But, even being six drinks in, I knew better than to go home with him when he asked.

I didn’t know who this guy was or what his intentions were. I didn’t know where he lived or what his name was, even!

Therein lies the difference between College Lauren and Post College Lauren.

If I were still in school I would have gone home with that boy in a heartbeat. I wouldn’t have considered the fact that he could be dangerous, he could have STD’s or that anything bad could come from the situation at all. I would have trusted him because he was on my campus – in my little bubble – and why wouldn’t I? Read More »

So by now you’ve read or at least heard of the two books He’s Just Not That Into You and It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken. Well one of the authors, Greg Behrendt, has some hilariously funny downloadable ringtones on his personal website. These are no ordinary ringtones…they’re meant to be set in your phone as the personal ringtone for that special a-hole that you KNOW is bad for you but you can’t seem to shake.

My personal favorite is called “Booty Call” and it’s a recording of Greg singing “Guess who’s drunk and phoning again, it’s me, it’s me…guess who’s drunk and phoning again at quarter to three…AM…in the morning…don’t do it! It’s a booty call! Don’t do it…”

Then there’s also “Let It Go to Voicemail” and “Delete It.” Perfect for when you know you need some extra reassurance as to why you shouldn’t pick up when that phone starts ringing and you know the person calling is B-A-D bad news. Shear genius.