Bristol Palin\'s Baby. Scary.

So, I’m tired this morning. All that Democrat bashing
and baby hair licking at the Republican National Convention last night kept me up late. Since I can’t
get productive until this Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte
kicks in (yes, they are back!), I decided to peruse
the interwebs for awhile. And boy did I find a gem.

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When It Comes to Breakups, Honesty is Always The Best Policy

breakup.jpg Ending a relationship with someone, no matter how long you’ve dated, is never an easy thing. You have to face someone and tell them – in more or less words – that you don’t want to be with them anymore. For many, it can be quite devastating to the heart (not to mention, the ego).

So, how do you deal?

Some go for the whole “it’s not you, it’s me” excuse. It makes sense; it’s always easier to come up with some reason that conveniently puts the blame on you rather than telling your soon-to-be ex that he really isn’t that funny and you’d rather stab your eyes out with a fork than hear another one of his lame jokes. And, sure, by doing so, you save face and spare their feelings, but ultimately, you’re not being completely honest if you can’t come out and tell them exactly why you’re ending it.

If I’ve ever had to break up with someone, I always try to be as honest as possible, but keep his or her feelings in mind. For example, when my ex and I of four years were falling apart (and even though I still loved him at the time) I knew I had to cut the cord. When I sat him down to discuss why we needed to break up, I was honest: we were killing each other, fighting all the time and I knew it wasn’t going to get any better, ever.

It was an incredibly hard conversation to have, but after 4 years, I felt he deserved that respect. Read More »

Hoes Over Bros - Why It Never Works

blair.jpgOnce upon a time, there was a girl. And her friend. And a boy.

Girl meets boy, girl likes boy, girl’s like is clearly unrequited. Friend hates boy, friend grows to like boy, friend and boy go out.

And boy, did the stinky brown substance hit the fan.

Rudge from The History Boys defined history as, “one f*%king thing after another.” This can also be applied to the demise of this relationship. One argument turned into some petty fight. Over a boy. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my friends, but back then, when they had a bust up, to a girl like me who’d always held the Hoes over Bros rule golden, this was sacrilege.

No, there are no happy endings, and no, they never made up. Yes, I am bitter and disillusioned, and yes, this is exactly why I don’t believe in hoes over bros anymore.

On Gossip Girl, Serena did the unforgiveable and slept with her best friend’s boyfriend. And sure, her best friend was angry and wanted revenge, but ultimately, she took her back. On One Tree Hill, Peyton nabbed Lucas’s heart, while her betrayed best friend, Brooke, was hurt. The scenario with my two friends, certainly didn’t end up like this. Three years of friendship and somehow a boy was still more important. Read More »

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

breakup.jpgWhy does breaking up suck so much? No, I don’t mean the broken hearts, the swapping of past birthday / anniversary / Valentine’s gifts, or the empty void on his half of the bed. I mean, why does the actual act of breaking up suck so much?

You’re in a relationship. Obviously, there’s something compatible between you and your partner. But once the break-up hits, BAM! Everything changes. It’s very difficult to get back to the friendship level, if possible at all.

Breaking up doesn’t just mean you’ve lost a mate, but a really good friend as well. In fact, you’ve probably lost several friends, because now it’s taboo for either of your own friends to associate with the other’s ex. It could also mean you’ve lost a confidante, a study pal, a Guitar Hero partner (or the entire game, if it was his!), a personal chef, or whatever your now-ex used to do that made the relationship special.

It also means a definite disturbance in many, most, or all of your daily routines. Whether you called each other every day to talk through your commutes to school, or you were living together, suddenly, there’s something missing. And even if the break-up was necessary or inevitable, that void is a gaping hole in your life. That keeps getting bigger. And just won’t go away. Read More »

Candy Dish: Wet Hot American Swimmers

mensrelay081308.jpg

I give this a 10 in the hot bod competition

Studying Creationism? Graduating just got harder for you

Brooke Hogan continues to dig that stupidity hole

According to GMA, curly hair blows

Breaking up, Dinosaur Comics style

Have you had too much sex?

The only way Katie Holmes can get into a movie these days…

U.S Women’s Gymnasts think China totally f*cked with them

No more chicken mcnuggets in LA

She hates the fans

Dane Cook is kinda right.

Dump Me, Eh? I’ll Sue Your Ass!

summit-courtroom.jpgA recent article in the Gainesville Times discussed a woman who sued her fiancé for dumping her after she’d left her high paying human resources job and moved to a different city to be with him. And she won! The ex-fiancé received $150,000 for financial and emotional suffering.

At first, I was like, “WTF!, How ridiculous to bring your wounded heart and unsuccessful marriage into legal matters!” But, then I realized that maybe she had a point. I mean, an engagement is sort of a contract, or at least a promise of a long term commitment. And why shouldn’t this woman be repaid for her lost wages and emotional distress.

In fact, why can’t everyone receive that luxury? So, I got to thinking; what would I sue my ex for if I could? And this is what I came up with:

Dear Ex-boyfriend (who, shall remain nameless),
In seeing how you dumped me and shattered my heart into a million little pieces, I am taking you to court and suing you for the following: Read More »

Seriously, DO NOT Look Up Your Ex

sad.jpgPut this under Things You Should Not Do If You Want To Remain A Happy Person: finding out what your ex is up to now.

To preface, I’m not talking about the person you dated for a month who you kind of cared about but never enough to commit and / or introduce him to your friends. If you want to look through that guy’s Facebook or Myspace, go ahead. Seeing him with his arms wrapped around another girl will probably do nothing but make you kind of glad you’re no longer seeing someone who thinks weird neck tattoos of skulls are cool.

But look, if you loved the dude (or chick), and it kind of ripped your heart out when things ended, do yourself a favor let them remain a mystery. Don’t try to find them on Facebook if you’re not already connected, unfriend them if you are, don’t ask mutual friends about who they’re dating, and for the love of god, DON’T GOOGLE THEM.

I am a naturally nosey person, but after The Big Ex and I split up years ago, I refused to seek out information on the girl he started dating a mere few weeks after our 4 year stint ended. I knew my friends had info, I could tell by their eyes whenever they tried to jump away from the subject, but I never pressed them. And when information was accidentally spilled to me, I made a conscious effort to change the subject and told people “I really don’t care to know”. It was hard, because I did care to know, but I knew that need for knowledge was coming from a macabre place in my brain that loved to torture the rest of me. Read More »

Candy Dish: Even McTeeny was McDreamy

Young Patrick Dempsey

Even McTeeny was McDreamy–and he could juggle!

OMG, it’s so annoying when my wedding dress totally rips apart at the altar

Breaking News: The JoBros continue to get hotter

In a related story, Corey Haim continues in the other direction

Ending a relationship is a lot like last call at a bar

What? A reality show that is funny on purpose?

Sex Fact #5: engaging in any non-missionary sexual position is illegal in DC.

Longing for some jazzy, instrumental theme music–oh, and true love?

Zachery Ty Bryan is still alive–and being tasered

I Think I Know…

wtfisthatiy3.jpg

I told my Ex we broke up because he was short.

Really, we broke up because he was short and kind of looked like a giant mole that stood upright

Alanis Doesn’t Give a Sh*t About Ryan Reynolds

alanis-morissette-ryan-reynolds.jpgAs someone who’s gone through her share of H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E break-ups, I always thought that it would be pretty much the worst thing ever to be famous and feel the world weigh in on the shattering of your heart. The whole Jen, Angelina, Brad Pitt debacle seemed like a nightmare (especially for Jen. Girl got the short end of the stick), and recently, watching Alanis Morissette break up with , and subsequently lose, Ryan Reynolds to ScarJo basically solidified my notion that ending a relationship while famous sucks.

I kinda felt the Alanis / Ryan destruction because I’ve always identified with Miss M. She’s this earthy, hippie chick — attractive but not striking — who feels emotions really strongly and is into singing vowels her own way. Aside from the vowel thing, I saw myself in Alanis. And so when she lost her hot fiance to someone younger, with bigger boobs, and probably a smaller brain — I felt her pain. Because, I mean…it’s quite possible the same thing has happened to me. Read More »

What Would YOU Do: Your Friend’s Ex

hm.jpgOften when friends break up with their boyfriends, you have to chose whether or not to remain friends with the Ex. From years/months/beer pong matches together, you have developed a friendship with said Ex…so does the end of the main relationship mean you have to break up too??

Or can you go on as friends?

Flip the situation a bit:
You best friend has broken up with a boyfriend and is now in a very happy and loving relationship with someone else. Meanwhile, you have continued cultivating a relationship with her Ex and have stayed great friends. A year later, he tells you he’s “always wanted to be with you.”

Now, your friend is in a healthy/happy relationship with someone new. Are you allowed to date her Ex or is he still her territory??

Do you date your friend’s Ex?

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