As someone who’s gone through her share of H.O.R.R.I.B.L.E break-ups, I always thought that it would be pretty much the worst thing ever to be famous and feel the world weigh in on the shattering of your heart. The whole Jen, Angelina, Brad Pitt debacle seemed like a nightmare (especially for Jen. Girl got the short end of the stick), and recently, watching Alanis Morissette break up with , and subsequently lose, Ryan Reynolds to ScarJo basically solidified my notion that ending a relationship while famous sucks.

I kinda felt the Alanis / Ryan destruction because I’ve always identified with Miss M. She’s this earthy, hippie chick — attractive but not striking — who feels emotions really strongly and is into singing vowels her own way. Aside from the vowel thing, I saw myself in Alanis. And so when she lost her hot fiance to someone younger, with bigger boobs, and probably a smaller brain — I felt her pain. Because, I mean…it’s quite possible the same thing has happened to me. Read More »

Often when friends break up with their boyfriends, you have to chose whether or not to remain friends with the Ex. From years/months/beer pong matches together, you have developed a friendship with said Ex…so does the end of the main relationship mean you have to break up too??

Or can you go on as friends?

Flip the situation a bit:
You best friend has broken up with a boyfriend and is now in a very happy and loving relationship with someone else. Meanwhile, you have continued cultivating a relationship with her Ex and have stayed great friends. A year later, he tells you he’s “always wanted to be with you.”

Now, your friend is in a healthy/happy relationship with someone new. Are you allowed to date her Ex or is he still her territory??

Do you date your friend’s Ex?

Brian and I broke up under relatively ridiculous terms. We were in the midst of a long distance relationship. A passionate one.

We both got wasted one night and in a fight via text message. And that led to a fight via telephone. And that led to me texting him: “We’re Over“. And then we were.

Like some sort of f*cked up magic trick, I pulled the ‘We’re over!’ card out of my black hat and POOF…our relationship went silent. On the morning after, I woke up so hungover that I didn’t really recall what had happened the night before..until I read my text messages. And apparently, he woke up in the same scenario. But neither one of us made the effort to fix the damage we had done. I think it was because we both knew deep down that we were not right for each other, anyway. Read More »

Alfred Lord Tennyson, I wholeheartedly disagree with you.

I was 42 miles away from home on the night that I nearly killed myself.

I don’t remember what time it was; only that it was the very early morning of May 27 and that any warmth that had lingered from the daylight hours into the evening of May 26 had been driven out by the pre-sunrise chill.

I had just celebrated my 21st birthday and I was standing with a knife against my chest eight feet and two years away from the spot where the ex said, “I love you” for the first time. He was in another part of his house telling my friend probably something similar to what he’d once told me.

My life has been all about the experience, whether living them out or encouraging others to have their own — the crazier the better. Because no experience is too small, I feel a certain a sense of achievement in knowing that I have lived through this life of mine so far.

And love itself is crazy – it can potentially lead you to speak, think and act in ways that you once thought unthinkable. It can be atmospheric and humbling all at once. Depending on the type that you have, love can be your foundation or your salvation or it can emotionally and mentally cripple you.

So though I say all of that and despite the fact that I know that regret is a waste of time, even this experience junky feels some regret in remembering the ex whose love I wished I’d never known. Read More »

Dear Tuffy Luv:

I’m trying to decide if I am suffering from “Dumper’s Remorse or if I have truly made a mistake. This SHOULD be obvious, but for many reasons, it isn’’t. Allow me to elaborate:

After 3 years of dating, I broke up with my last boyfriend about 3 months ago (in January). We had been together for a long time, but I’’d been having doubts for at least six months and possibly more, depending on which friend you ask. We were each other’s first real relationship, and as we got more and more permanently serious I got more and more nervous about that. I loved him, and he loved me, but our relationship finally got so shaky that I felt it was time to let go. Read More »

Knowing when to end a long term friendship can be more difficult than any of us would ever like to admit. Wouldn’t it just be a hell of a lot easier if our oldest and supposedly closest friends never bugged out? If they could just stay calm and always be that chill girl we used to kick it with…all would be well with the world. But the fact of the matter is this: A lot of girls go “crazy” eventually and this easily includes girls you’ve known “forever”.

Not that long ago, I moved my best friend since elementary school into my apartment. At first, it was totally awesome. Despite the fact that we had certainly had more than one rough patch in our history of being friends; we were still getting along rather famously once we were living together. That was…of course…until I really started to see how nuts she was.

She was a pathological liar. But this was something that I had always known. She was obsessive with guys. This too was something that I had always known. She had a high level of respect and regard for me…again, something that I had always known. However, I had no clue how far she could possibly take any of these aspects of her character.

FIRST came the jealousy. I had recently started to rearrange my diet and lifestyle, finally putting my foot down and wanting to be healthier over all. In the process of doing this, I ended up dropping a few pounds. She, on the other hand, had always struggled with her weight, but was never quite willing to compromise her tendency to over-eat in exchange for the body she wanted. So when I dropped down to 125 at 5′7 (please note that this is a totally acceptable weight), she started to accuse me of being “scary skinny” and actually called me Nicole Richie. Read More »

Are you, or any girls you know, dating a guy in a band? If so, I URGE you to read this. In an effort to stop the spread of YOKO, the disease many of us musicians don’t want to be within 100 feet of, I am going to tell you how NOT to catch it. Yoko is a syndrome that plagues many a band-boy girlfriend and once your symptoms begin to show, there is hardly any turning back. Here is how the disease starts:

You are dating a guy in a band. Naturally, he wants you to come see him perform. You go to his show and automatically, you realize something: there are chicks everywhere who want to, or who are at least acting like they want to, totally jump his bones. So as many girls would, you decide to play the role of the coy girlfriend.

You approach him after the show and kiss him, while looking out of the corner of your eye to make sure that the “groupies” see you two kissing. And this is where it begins. The day you become territorial, you are one step closer to being sick with Yoko.

Your boyfriend begins to talk to you about band matters just as naturally as he invites you to his shows. And bands have drama. So when the drama comes knocking; you start to offer your two cents. However, there is a place and time for advice when it comes down to band relations and many girls embrace Yoko by assuming that their opinions are warranted. (But they are not). Read More »

Grieving the loss of a relationship is painful; but not as painful as grieving the loss of a whole family.

The hardest part of ending my last relationship was the fact that I had to end my relationship with my ex’s parents and sister. After two and a half years of dating someone, you tend to grow close to the people they’re close to. So, when you stop talking to the person you were dating, you’re forced to break up with their whole family as well (except you usually don’t have any hard feelings against the family members). And just like that, they’re gone from your life.

My ex-bf had (and still has, I suppose) an amazing family. The Martins were the types of people who would do anything for you. Because they lived near my college town, I spent a lot of time with them and they became my second family. Throughout the ex’s billions of hockey injuries, surgeries, and hospital visits, I was there like one of them, sitting in waiting rooms and trying to lessen his pain and make him feel better.

They let me use their car to come back and fourth from campus to their house and later from Boston to their house. His mom would call me at work and ask me to check up on him. They cooked me dinner and asked me to help. We all watched American Idol together. I shared fashion tips with his ultra-stylish 13-year-old sister. Read More »