It’s Friday. I’m tired, you’re tired and it was Halloween this week which means we all have hangovers to get over! Sigh. After work/exams/class of course.

So here is a little gossip to keep your blues at bay until the weekend finally comes!

• Ashley Olsen was spotted sucking face with Lance Armstrong at an NYC Hotel Bar on Monday. Apparently, they left together around 2 am. This Sunday, Lance will be partying down with his foundation at the restaurant where I work and if Ashley Olsen shows up, I might just pee my pants. (NY Post)

• Roberto Cavalli confirmed to the press that J.Lo is prego and he has been designing clothes for her as she grows. All this took place at the launch of his new Vodka. Yes, Vodka. Now we all knew J.Lo was preggers but what I want to know is why Roberto Cavalli is selling vodka. Last time I checked, fashion designers and disterllies had little in common. (People)

• The Catholics are fired up at Britney for pictures appearing in her new CD. In one, Britney is confessing, in the next she’s sitting on the priests lap. It’s about the only press she is getting from her new album since Jive has totally given up on her doing any promo for Blackout. And the courts agree she is still a bad mom. Oh, Britney. (ET Online, NY Daily News) Read More »

Hooters? Depressing? You don’t say. All I’ve ever had to do was take a look at the horrible orange and white paint job adorning the outside of most Hooters restaurants to know those places are a bevy of bad taste and depression.

Oh yeah, and fifteen year olds.

In my town, Hooters was the place adolescent boys with fake IDs and too much cologne spent their Friday nights when no one their own age would date them.

Hooters was the place high school’s biggest assholes went to feel superior to women who would never look at them in real life, as well as the place a friend’s friend once tried to work at but quit after some perv threw a popcorn shrimp at her boobs.

In conclusion: Hooters is drenched in grossness. Read More »

• Men tend to enjoy breasts. And according to the (female) author…we shouldn’t blame them (or show them). (Yahoo!)

• What if Apple never existed? What would hipsters identify themselves by (technologically speaking, of course)? (Yahoo!)

• Blast From the Past: On her 2006 tour, Amy Winehouse needed beer, wine, vodka, pizza…and sober roadies (to carry her to bed). (Smoking Gun)

• All I can picture is a team of high school football players high fiving the kid involved in this. Also, this. (Idahostatesman.com)

• Wait, so this weed was found underwater and it’s still worth over a million dollars? Lucky fisherman. (citizen.co.za)

Joe Francis is more than just a sleazebag rich kid who cajoles drunk girls into making out and flashing their boobs.

He’s more than a crybaby who had a panic attack in jail and was tied up in his own home. He’s more than an obnoxious frat boy in a designer suit.

Joe Francis is a good guy.

At least according to Joe Francis.

Meetjoefrancis.com is the Girls Gone Wild creator’s new online endeavor to show the world that his past behavior was all a misunderstanding…something he’s been plagued by his whole life.

“I’m excited to have this opportunity to introduce myself to you personally.” Francis writes on his homepage.

“Over the years, I’ve gotten used to being misunderstood.”

“From as early as the first grade, when a teacher’s aide took offense at my efforts to get her attention by putting a tack on her chair, to more recently, when a certain Southern judge took a relentless interest in putting me behind bars, it seems that I have been in a constant struggle just to be understood as a regular guy trying to get by in life.”

Putting a tack on someone’s chair to get attention? More like putting a tack on someone’s chair to watch them sit on a tack and laugh. Read More »

We all know insipid magazines like Cosmo and Redbook give men the impression the women are all about “Impressing Them in Bed!” and “Finding That Position That Makes Our Orgasms Last for 78 Minutes!!” and “Shoes!!!”

But have you ever wondered what guy mags like Stuff and FHM say about us? One women thinks they teach dudes to objectify us.

How groundbreaking.

Rosie Boycott, a former editor for Esquire magazine and freelance journalist for the Daily Mail says that men’s magazines are becoming more and more sexually explicit, and the women allowing themselves to be photographed are partially responsible. Read More »

Do you love helping people figure out how cold it is in a room?

Are you really into guys staring at your chest?

Have you always wanted nipples that were huge and robot-like?

Then get yourself a pair of bodyperks.

“Draw attention to your natural assets,” exclaims their website, “They make you look and feel wonderfully sassy.”

Before a reader can begin to ponder the word ‘sassy’ and why anyone in this day and age would use it, the website goes on to explain what exactly bodyperks are:

“They are lightweight, natural colored, silicone nipples that you insert into your bra and place directly on your own nipple…Create your own look and wear them with tight t-shirts, sexy halters, dresses, twin sets, swimsuits and more”.

Of course. Fake nipples. Exactly what I’ve always wanted. Read More »

I live in New York. It takes a lot for me to get sketched out. I walk by a legless ventriloquist who sings Sinatra on my way to work and have witnessed a mouse jump from my TV and land smack inside a potato chip bag I had eaten out of only moments earlier. Strange men say things to me almost daily, and feeling someone lean in too close on the subway is more than an occasional occurrence.

That being said, I am seriously skeeved out by myfreeimplants.com.

This web site is exactly what it says it is: a place where people (men mostly, I’m assuming) can help woman buy plastic surgery—boob jobs being the highlight. (Although it also advertises “Gummy Bear” implants. Which I can only guess would be…actually, I can’t guess. I’m afraid to.)

Chicks upload photos of themselves, and creepy men look at those photos and talk to them about how big they want their new boobs and how much money they need to raise. Women can put “personal items” up for sale (let your imagination go wild on that one, I’m sure you’re right), and men can request “custom photos of [their] favorite girls” in “specific outfits”. Read More »

Yeah, I wear push-up bras, and I’m not afraid to admit it.

In fact, these days I don’t touch anything that isn’t Styrofoamy or unidentifiable liquidy. Sure, that lacy thing is pretty, but if it ain’t padded, it ain’t perfect.

My boobs aren’t small. They’re not big either. They’re right in the middle, somewhere between I’m-Running-Free-In-A-Backless-T-Shirt! and Even-Straight-Girls-Stare-At-Them!

Growing up, I was so freaked out by my body that I would grab things off the rack at Target without even looking, and thus have never truly figured out my size.

Somewhere along the line I realized that knowing your exact bra size wasn’t as important as the padding that pushed the boobs up, and since then, I’ve made it my hobby the find all the new kinds of padding and try them all out personally. Read More »