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First they said she was.
Then they said she wasn’t.
Then they said she was.
Then (annoying) Perez said she wasn’t.

So, which is it? Will Britney be performing at the VMAs this evening? Should we all tune in to watch her poorly lip sync her way back into that thriving career she once had? Should I stop doing everything else and prepare to watch her go sh*t nuts on stage?

To say that Britney Spears fell off the crazy tree and hit every branch on the way down, is an understatement. She was at the top of her game until that infamous Vegas marriage; then it all seemed to unravel.

We can still remember Britney’s glory days - back when she had abs of steel and didn’t look like a hot tranny mess on stage. In honor of the possible VMA performance tonight (that we are secretly praying for), we have compiled the videos from her previous 5 VMA appearances.

She did it all: danced in a slutty outfit, danced with a snake, made-out with Madonna, totally bombed a performance….but no matter what, she always got people talking.

We just can’t wait to see what the topic is this year… Read More »

You know how I was all “Knight Rider was such a weird show.  There’s no way they’re gonna remake that for the Fall 2008 TV season”…and now this is happening?  Well, after the shame that was 9/9/07, I was positive Britney Spears would stay far, far away from the limelight as well as far, far away from the VMA’s…but guess what?  She’s not.

That’s right.  B. Spears will not only be at the the 2008 VMA’s, she’ll be opening the damn ceremony, JUST LIKE LAST TIME!  Either her brain is still fritzing out, or she’s got balls of steel and totally doesn’t care that she’s revisiting failed ground.

Obviously, MTV and Britney’s peeps are 100% sure she’ll do fantastic.  I don’t really share their complete optimism, but I don’t think there’s any way she can be worse than the drugged up, tripping Britney we saw a year ago.

What do you think?  Will Spears crash and burn again, or totally redeem herself in every way?

Puppies are cute, snuggly Cancer detectors.

This can’t be the actual video, right?

Another book I really don’t want to read, but most definitely will.

You can never trust a man to do anything right.

I will never look at Ramen the same way again.

Why are we so addicted to watching rich people on TV?

Want to hate Spencer and Heidi even more? Find out how much money they rake in…for being annoying.

The Clothes that Got me Laid: better than a wingman.

Everyone hates “Project Runway” this season.

Ugh - I should have been a naval architect.

Looks like I won’t be watching the VMAs after all.

Men have always ruled the comedy scene. From dynamic duos such as Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello and Jay and Silent Bob to teams such as the Happy Madison boys (Adam Sandler, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Peter Dante, Allen Covert and Nick Swardson) and the Frat Pack (Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Owen and Luke Wilson and Steve Carrell).

There are virtually no female comedic ensembles who can sell movies like these guys can.

In the stand-up circuit, men generally receive the biggest reception. Recently, I went to a stand-up comedy review that featured twenty comics in one night. Of those twenty, only three women took the stage. Three. WTF?

Women are pretty damn funny, so why don’t we get the same appraisal as men get? Films like Old School put the Frat Pack on the map, while the hysterical chick flick The Sweetest Thing flopped at the box office. The Wedding Crashers cast has people rolling in the aisles, while far too many people have never seen Christina Applegate, Cameron Diaz, and Selma Blair sing The Penis Song.

I took this assignment to cover the 5 Funniest Women out there, but quickly realized there is just too much talent to narrow it down so far. That said, what follows is my personal list of five of the wittiest women in the world, along with some honorable mentions. I welcome feedback, comments, and nominations, because I’m sure I’ve missed some ladies that can more than keep up with the boys. Read More »

Ideas for getting back at the cheating a$%hole of a boyfriend.

Amy Winehouse: singer, drug addict, and video game star?

Will Jerry Seinfeld get you to buy Microsoft products? Bill Gates seems to think so.

What Britney Spears really sounds like. (Ears. Bleeding. Help.) But that won’t stop Justin from trying to save her career.

Tee hee.

MIT students beat the system, ride transit for free.

Michael Phelps may or may not be single.

Ever wonder what it’s like to be a bikini waxer?

Does this mean I can sue that guy who gave me a UTI?

You could name this iPOD playlist, Va-jay-jams

Last night, I pulled up to a house I have a million times before, anxiously anticipating hanging out with my two best friends ever . You know the kind of friends I mean: We had sleepovers complete with Spice Girls’ dance parties in middle school as we sported our bell bottoms & Skechers, played spin the bottle in junior high with cute, spiky-haired 8th grade boys who listened to NOFX, and experienced a whole plethora of good/illegal/potentially lethal times in high school. These girls knew me (and stayed my friend) when I saw CREED in concert. Enough said.

So, i walked in to see my two best friends, paired up in beer pong against the dude who owned the house and someone I’ll call M. When we first met sophomore year of high school, I was fascinated by M. She was ridiculously cool, had good taste in music & the most unique style I’d ever seen. We became instant friends and I thought she would be a perfect addition to the friendship triangle. Hell, If she liked Britney Spears and gangster rap as much as we did, she was IN.

So, I brought her around a few times, giving her a chance to “test the waters” of our crazy group of friends. I was excited when she was able to hold her own in conversations. I was pretty happy (albeit, a little confused) when she started to use the nicknames we made up for each other at recess when addressing us in conversation. I loved that I could borrow her super-cute clothes. And then, something I should have totally seen coming but didn’t happened.

She stole my friends. Read More »

Britney Spears will be back at the VMA’s.

If his abs and medals aren’t enough, here is yet another reason to love Michael Phelps.

Blame Daniel Radcliffe and his love of nudity for the delay in Harry Potter flicks.

Being Tom Cruise’s daughter has not dampened her cuteness.

There is only one person Kanye West loves more than himself…and it’s Scarlet Johansson?

John Mayer - I think I love him even more.

Did you know that women spend 3,267 hours getting ready to go out?!

How to be a good hookup.

Christmas in August?

Question: People really dress like this? Answer: Ew, yes.

You thought the Chinese were bad? Australian mayor picks on “ugly ducklings“.

The time has come for someone to stand up and scream at the top of their lungs, “America, stop being disgusting and sexualizing 15-year-old girls!!” and I’m not afraid to be that someone. Because the media can longer be counted on to have a brain, because adult celebrity bloggers see it fit to go after girls who can’t even drive yet, and because we as a nation are still. fixated. with. high. school, the cloud of obsession seems to have blinded everyone to the fact that there is something inherently wrong with stalking little girls.

Because these ARE little girls we’re talking about. Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, Taylor Momsen. When we’re not urging them to slather on the eyeliner and hike up their skirts, we’re glamorizing their world, turning high school into a multi-million dollar soap opera where everyone is scheming or talking like 30 Somethings or having sex with anything that purses it’s lips. For those of us who remember high school without the Hollywood Glasses, you’ll recall that no matter where you went, it was decidedly unglamorous. It was boring, sometimes lonely, a lot awkward, and stuffed to the brim with tests, feeble attempts to fit in, and college application essays.

Ask any mother today who isn’t on crack if she’d be happy with her 15-year-old having sex, and she’d blurt the word no faster than you could think it. When Ms. Cyrus’s cellphone is hacked into and her frighteningly-too-old half naked poses are stuffed onto the world wide web, we’re “horrified”. But when she walks around with a full face of makeup, hair extensions, high heels, and revealing clothing, she’s just being a “teen star”. The Lolita posing is too overtly sexual; while the “Disney Vamp” is just subtle enough to keep us from feeling guilty. Read More »

Looks like President Bush has been playing some Olympics drinking games of his own.

The Chinese are mean!

Russia takes a break. Georgia disagrees.

I didn’t think it was possible, but Jake Gyllenhaal is lookin’...ew.

In memory of Isaac Hayes…a song. About the menstrual cycle.

Britney’s back, bitches.

Cheerleading - that sh*t is dangerous!

Where has all the porn for straight women gone?

Gossip Girl has been gone too long; how about a little fix?

It’s time to give tequila another shot (pun intended).

Bored at work? This may be the best game of all time.