Alright people, let’s get two things straight. 1) I love (loooove) drinking and 2) I am pretty damn serious about my GPA. A paradox, I know, but one that has contributed greatly to my collegiate success (both in and out of the bars). Unfortunately these two qualities clash in a major way when my morning lectures (ok and sometimes afternoon classes if I’ve been hitting the Franz a little too hard) and hangovers coincide.

Naturally, my first reaction is to stumble out of bed, put on the first item of clothing that most nearly resembles sweatpants and yank a gym shirt over my head as I groan “ughhhhh” on the way out the door.

Sadly, professors and attractive classmates do not take kindly to my arrival in class looking like Britney circa February 2008–and chances are yours don’t either. So instead of being shunned for your dedication to class attendance (I mean, you’re making the effort right?!) I’ve thrown together a handy list of fashion saviors for even the most hungover of mornings.

You’ll look as put together as one possibly can after a night of hollering 80’s classics and harassing the bartender, and no one will be the wiser (except for the person sitting next to you enjoying your Eau de Skol…) Read More »

Everyone’s favorite celebrity train wreck is proving that she’s still chugging along on the pop star track this week. Britney Spears’ new single, “Womanizer” has already been leaked and was even featured in last week’s episode of The Hills. But this Friday, she promises a REAL comeback when the video for “Womanizer” premieres on 20/20.

20/20?!?!?

Yeah, I guess MTV was booked and VH1 wanted to squeeze in another season of The ’80s: Apparently The Greatest Decade Ever. So Brit Brit had to take her comeback vehicle over to that other prime-time music machine, 20/20.

As the world waits with bated breath for the visual celebration of “Womanizer,” let’s take a look at what we’re expecting from the video:

1) Gratuitous shots of Britney’s new-and-improved toned midsection
2) Slithering dance moves (either of the floor or pole variety)
3) Windblown hair and pouty face
4) Submissive guy candy
5) Some outrageous outfit (think “Oops I Did It Again”)

To see if our predictions come true, tune in this Friday to ABC at 10 pm.

• Thanks to Juno, the burger phone is one hot ebay item.

• From the jetway to the runway: Celebrity Airport Fashion

• How many episodes remain before your favorite shows go dark?

• Adrian Grenier has quite a package.

• If you don’t know this band, you should.

• The Top 10 Celebrity Interview Disasters

• Wine tips with Dr. Steve Brule

• Britney’s Blender cover is an amazing photoshop achievement.

• The Top 5 things that shouldn’t be gummy

• Ellen Page and Sarah Jessica Parker are Smart People in this new trailer.

• Guys dig porn… Wanna know why?

• Sarah Michelle Gellar’s got the look of the day

• The top 10 beards in modern music

• Britney does Ace of Base

• Heath Ledger’s Life in Photos

• Feist has a new video.

• Brad Pitt is one funny redneck.

• Smitten for mittens

• If you don’t know this band, you should.

• An open letter to the Simpson sisters

• Guess who’s the new Vaseline mystery model?

At first, I loved her. She was a slave for me, even though I was toxic…she told me so!Then Brit was so sad that I felt bad for her. Next time she was in the news, I felt bad for her kids. At NO TIME, did I ever feel bad for K-Fed (You are a douche dude! Go finish highschool! Zac Efron is cooler than you.)

With the latest videos, stories and photos of Britney having sex in a boutique (Betsey Johnson) and cursing out small store managers - she is a little too Bobby&Whitney on crack for me. The days of her carrying Preston around while a wife-beater without a bra and driving around with Paris refusing to wear underwear, seem so long ago. Those times of normal white-trashdom have careened into the psycho-hose-beast we see before us today. I can’t help but think:

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As if the media hasn’t spent enough time ravaging the metaphorical colon of people across the internet and TV, we arrive at the next stage in celebrity gossip evolution (or Creative Design if you are from Kansas)…the legal battle.

So here it is: Casey Aldridge, a.k.a. Little Spears’ Babby-daddy, is either 17, 18 or 19. Unfortunately, white trash don’t keep good records and for some reason there is a some discussion as to how old he is. People are looking at his MySpace page, which has him at 17, and also his old school records that have him at 19. However, the latter records come from his Principal who is trying to hold the school yearbooks to make extra money, so it is about as trustworthy as the Mitchell Report.

My roommate is pre-law, so here is the $.50 tour:

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Calling all film majors! Think you know how Britney’s next video for “Piece of Me” should look? MTV wants you to direct it!

MTV’s “Britney Spears wants a Piece of You” contest kicks off on Monday and is calling for die-hard Britney fans to put together a video counterpart to the official video Brit shot this week. But what if you’ve never submitted anything to YouTube? (get with it, people!) It’s no problem.

To enter the contest all you have to do is download the MTV Video Remixer. Then you pick the shots you wants to use, mash them together and –viola!– you’ve got a submission! The video can be up to 3:34 in length and the winner will premiere on TRL on December 20th.

But you better get on it quick! Entries are due by December 14.

Having your video premiere on TRL is cool and all, but the true prize is having your video premiere before the official one. That won’t surface until January.

Britney Spears is lazy and slow? Shocking.