I’m not a vegetarian, but I like to eat like one. I’m very picky with meats (I don’t eat seafood, beef, or pork); I try to eat healthy (even though I typically consume the calories I cut throughout the week in weekend drinking binges); and, most importantly, I’m a horrible cook, so I’d rather microwave a faux-chicken cutlet than get salmonella from undercooking a juicy piece of pollo.

A recent issue of Shape magazine suggested eating vegetarian once a week, and I was like, “Heyyy I already do that! I rock!” They also featured a mouthwatering recipe for vegetarian paella. That’s not going to happen. So, whether you’re a carnivore or a herbivore, trying to shave some calories from your diet, or too busy to slave over a hot stove, I give you vegetarian meals in five minutes or less. All you need is a microwave.

1. Boca Meatless Chili
You need:
–Boca Meatless Chili, from the freezer section of your grocery store.
–2 slices of whole wheat bread

*Zap the chili for three minutes, stir, and nuke for one more minute.
*While the chili is in the microwave, pop the whole wheat bread in the toaster.
*Cut the whole wheat toast in quarters, top with tasty chili, and enjoy! Read More »

The first date… those three words alone are enough to fill my soul with terror. The person likes you enough to go out with you, but did they just agree to be nice, or do they really like you? Do they mean to be friends? Have you just completely misjudged their advances? What if they act really overzealous? What if they act really uninterested?

It’s clear that there’s a lot to worry about when you meet up with somebody for the first time, so try to cross at least one thing off of the Worry List by having a low-stress meal. These five things are not the way to go for first date fare:

1. Mexican.
Refried beans are soooo delicious, yes, but the effects are musical, and you really don’t want that to happen at an inopportune time.

2. Sandwiches/burgers more than three inches thick.
Honestly, these are the most annoying things ever, and they will embarrass you when you least expect it. When you finally maneuver the thing so that it’s possible to put it in your mouth, everything inside it will inevitably spill out onto either your hands or your lap. (Editor’s Note: Sounds familiar to the bedroom festivities later. Ayoooo!) You can’t eat them with a knife and fork, either, for fear of looking like an extreme neatnik. Read More »

You know all those times when you’re like “Damn, I would love to get some burgers for the whole family, but I don’t want to order them individually,” so, you order a pizza instead? Yeah, me neither. But apparently, Burger King thinks we’re all having a whole lot of these moments as they’re going to start offering a six-pack of burgers in an attempt to compete with the pizza market.

How does a six-pack of burgers differ from six individual burgers? Glad you asked.

The rolls of the six burgers will be stuck together, so to grab a burger, you’ll have to tear one off. Just like when you grab a piece of pizza. And just like you can order a pizza half cheese/half pepperoni (or whatever your tastes enjoy), one pair of these burgers will be topped with ketchup, another with cheese, and another with bacon and cheese.

Unfortunately, these burgers are only launching in the UK, Germany, and Spain. Let’s hope and pray that they do well over there so that they come here soon. Until then, I guess we’re just going to be stuck ordering pizza when we’re craving a shared meal. Or drinking a six-pack of beer. That could work too.

The first time I ever grilled my own burgers was for a boy that I loved. I wanted so badly to impress him, that when I realized we were the only two people on campus for summer term I invited him over for dinner and Sangria on the porch. I spent all day shopping and preparing.

And that was just for my outfit.

Then, just before he was set to arrive I started pulling together whatever I could find for dinner. I had quite the menu planned: turkey burgers, salad and corn on the cob made on the grill. Mmmm. I had seen my mom make the meal a thousand times before, so I really felt confident that I could pull it off.

Of course, I didn’t. While my outfit was sexy and super saucy, my meat was flavorless and sorta over-done. Who knew I had to season the meat before I threw it on the grill? Clearly, I missed that part of my mom’s meal prep. Thank God the boy was oh so cute and polite (not to mention sorta drunk, thank you, Sangria!); he ate every last bite and offered to take me out for ice cream. Then he let me invite him over for a re-do the following week.

This time I did my work and found the perfect recipe to woo him. The dinner was actually edible and turned out perfectly from our first glass of wine to our serious make out session on the couch. I could say it was the wine that did it again, but I have made these burgers many times since and they always produce the same tremendous results. Try ‘em out for yourself:

Read More »

At least once a week, I find myself with less than a half-hour window to make and eat dinner. I guess I could just grab a sandwich or some Chinese takeout or something, but I have this annoying insistence that most of what I eat taste delicious and have recognizable ingredients. Yeah, I know, I’m a tough customer.

Since there’s no way I’d have time on those days to do more than punch a few buttons on the microwave or set the dial on the oven, I rely on three staple dinners that I can freeze and pop out of the freezer whenever I want. I usually make giant batches of each and then separate them into single portions that I can easily grab from the icicles. Read More »

I am not one of those girls that just “isn’t hungry” on a date. I am always hungry. And I love good food. Especially when it is medium rare and comes in a bun.

You already know I eat meat. And I certainly sleep with people who eat meat too. So, it’s good to know my new red meat eating habits are totally in.

I always knew salads were so passé.

If you’re one of those girls that don’t eat on a date because of “nerves,” give it up. Apparently, if you want to make a statement, order a steak. I mean even the New York Times thinks so, so it MUST be true.

According to a woman interviewed by the Times, steaks sent the message that she is “unpretentious and down to earth and unneurotic,” while burgers said she was a “cheap date and low maintenance.”

And I agree. Since I started eating red meat about 9 months ago, I’ve felt less like the fussy girl who picks off the pepperoni and more like the awesome foodie girl you’ve always wanted to date.

So put down the lettuce, ladies. Leave the salads for a lunch with the girls. If you really want to impress, order a steak. Read More »