If there’s one thing I’ve learned in college, it’s that half of the contacts in my phone are people I don’t know. I may have known them for the length of a drink or a line outside my favorite bar, but memory fades with last call.

In any case, what makes the randoms in my phone stand out is how they’re entered as a contact… affectionately re-named, if you will.

We all do it, and I really do lament my memory slipping, but as I was going through my contacts list the other day, I couldn’t help but crack up at some of the best names I found in my phone. After which I was reminded of some of the better names and numbers taken down by some of my friends.

With no further ado, the best contacts I completely forgot about, and you likely have in your phone too (please note that actual names have been changed on the off chance any of these people remember exchanging numbers with me or my friends):

1. John Cinco de Mayo
Ah, yes, you remember the Cinco de Mayo story. What a glorious and drunken event. He’s still in my phone, identified by when I met him. This can also occur with cities and venues as well (see below)… Read More »

Every once in a while, I’ll go to a bar and someone will hand me a drink and I’ll take a sip and instantly want to puke. I mean, who actually enjoys stuff that tastes like turpentine mixed with a splash of soda?

Yesterday being Cinco De Mayo, a day seemingly dedicated to the art of delicious drink making, I decided to come up with cinco drinkos that actually taste good (so good they’re named after desserts!) and are easy to make with stuff you might actually have in stock:

Cupcake
Mix a half cup Sprite with a half cup of vanilla vodka. Que delicioso!

Thin Mint
Throw a shot of creme de menthe into your hot chocolate and disfrutas!

Apple Pie
Mix an ounce of tequilla with an ounce of apple cider and a splash of lemon juice. Mix in some butterscotch schnapps and you’re buena. Read More »

Any excuse to celebrate with tequila is my kind of celebration! I know that’s not the idea behind Cinco De Mayo, but hey — humor me.

Try these fun drinks, and remember kids DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE. Ride a bike instead.

!POMEGRANATE MARGARITA!

Ingredients:
Lime wedge, plus more for garnish
Salt
Ice
4 ounces white tequila
2 ounces Triple Sec
1/2 cup pomegranate juice
1 lime, juiced (optional)
Club soda

WHAT TO DO:
Pour salt onto a plate or shallow dish. With a lime wedge rub along the rim of a glass and dip glasses upside down to salt the rim. Fill glasses with ice.

In a cocktail shaker with ice place the tequila, triple sec, pomegranate juice, and lime juice. Pour into the salt-rimmed glasses and top off with club soda. Garnish with a lime wedge, if desired. Read More »

Nothing says summer like sangria. Whether you’re planning in advance for Cinco de Mayo (beware of drunken frat boys in sombreros…) or feel like you should upgrade from Carlo Rossi’s gallon jugs, here’s a simple recipe anyone can follow, courtesy of DrinkoftheWeek.com

You’ll need:

* 2 bottles of red wine (750ml)
* 1/2 cup Triple Sec
* 1/4 cup tequila
* 1/4 cup sweet vermouth
* 1/4 cup fresh lime juice
* Lemons, limes and oranges (sliced)
* Sugar to taste
* 2 cups Sprite or 7up
*And a punch bowl or pitcher to mix them in

Mix your wine, Triple Sec, tequila, sweet vermouth, and lime juice in your container of choice. Add sliced fruit and refrigerate for a few hours, just so your alcohol picks up the fruit flavors and vice-versa.

You don’t want your sangria to be all fruit, but the more you add, the more flavor will be picked up. If you’re feeling creative, you can add slices of apple and grapes to the concoction as well.

After your mixture’s thoroughly chilled, add your Sprite/7up and sugar to taste. Serve over ice and you’re ready for one cool evening… or afternoon. It’s always five o’ clock somewhere, right?

If you want to make this part of a perfect theme party, make some guacamole and bust out the tortilla chips. Or even make it part of a dinner party and keep it light with taco salad.

I have an inexplicable love for frat boys. You’d think that after college, I’d have learned my lesson and vow to never again attempt dating one. But no. Ooooh no.
It was Cinco de Mayo, right after college graduation. Four margaritas and a free t-shirt later, I saw him, stumbling toward the bar in basketball shorts, a t-shirt, J. Crew flip flops, and—

“Nice sombrero, hombre!”

Yes. A sombrero. To those who aren’t familiar, the frat boy always comes with an accessory: obnoxious headgear or aviators. My friend, who was keeping pace with my drinking at about half my size, decided to toss a line to the slightly dirtball, overly confident drunk guy. He turned, grabbed a basket of tortilla chips from another table, and slid into our booth.

“How do you ladies feel about flipcup?”

Swoon!

Hombre, as he came to be known, was a Long Islander with a hah-rrible accent whose buddy was hosting a flipcup tournament. I left the bar after putting my number in his phone, expecting never to hear from him again. Turns out Hombre had an affinity for drunk text messaging at prime booty-call hour. Which is how we ended up on our first date three days later. Read More »

Tequila may be the touchiest alcohol out there. And by that I mean—we’ve all had those nights, and have sworn off the cursed drink since.

I’m about to tell you one of my most embarrassing drinking stories ever for the sake of this piece. Are you ready?

I was 18, met a 30 year old guy who I fell head over heels for, and became a regular at his local bar (you can legally drink in France at 18, thank God). He liked me too, which was a bonus. But he had an issue with the age difference. Yet, because of my undeniable charm (and extreme persistence), I was slowly but surely convincing him that age ain’t nothing but a number.

One night, sitting around with all of his friends who I had never met before, we decided to do a round of shots. Tequila it was, and when I asked for training wheels (don’t you just automatically get salt and a lime?), I was denied. “Katy, we’ve seen you drink. You can handle a big girl shot.” Nope. No, I couldn’t.

We took the shot, and as it was sliding down my throat, I felt it make a U-turn and begin to come back up. Nothing else—just the shot. And I kid you not, I literally projectile vomited this fucking shot of tequila all over the guy, and most of his friends. How’s that for bringing sexy back? I got him in the end, but that’s a whole other story…. Read More »

It’s Cinco de Mayo! What better time for beach and alcohol-inspired beauty products galore?

Lips:
Avon Glazewear Extreme has ultra high shine and is enriched with Vitamins A, C and E to moisturize lips…try Sangria to get a good Cinco de Mayo buzz going on your way to class.
Stila’s mixed up some special cocktail-inspired glosses for Cinco de Mayo. There are three different shades with names like Pina Colada, Spiced Rum and Daiquiri…and yes, they taste and smell as delicious as they sound. Read More »