As usual, last night’s Video Music Awards blew.  The geniuses at MTV have succeded in turning what was once a borderline semi-entertaining awards show into a series of tedious advertisements between more advertisements.  Great Job!

But despite all the foolishness, the red carpet was chock full o’ eye-catching looks… some hot, some way not.  So, rather than making you search thru all those grocery-store-checkout-line-webzines for your VMA fashion fix, we have compiled the best of the best and the best of the worst for your viewing pleasure.

BTW Pink- You saying “Lemme Check My Flow” in a song has a way different connotation than when Eminem says it… and the thought makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

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I’ve heard the woes from people with cup sizes that are hard to manage. I understand; nobody wants the back pain or the difficulty finding clothes that fit. I, on the other hand, am on the other end of the spectrum. I hit puberty early, was a head taller than everyone in my class for a while, but never got to enjoy the other benefits of those raging hormones. You know…like, breasts.

My mother continually assures me that I’m lucky. “Dresses fit you so well,” she tells me. That’s easy for her to say; I imagine most mothers, deep down, want to dress their daughters in conservative dresses that leave a lot to the imagination, but leave me looking like I’m wearing a sack on top.

Forget showing off cleavage; it’s pretty hard when you barely have cleavage. I don’t mind looking nice in the occasional baggy shirt for a job interview, but how is a flat-chested girl supposed to look Hott? Read More »

Breasts. Boobs. Tits. Ta Tas. Chi Chis. Fun-bags. Melons. Along with a few hundred different epithets, they come in a variety of colors, shapes, and sizes. And thanks to the wonders of plastic surgery, there’s even more variety to be had in the size department. Just ask Sheyla Hershey, the woman who was recently denied her 9th boob job. Hershey’s dreams to move up from a FFF-cup to a GG were dashed because apparently, America, the country that has no concept of “moderation” has established a legal limit for silicone.

When I was in 8th grade, I went from flat-as-a-board to a large C in a matter of months; when I discovered binge drinking in college, my Freshman Fifteen accumulated in my breasts, and I was busting out of 36 DD bras, but refused to buy anything bigger because I felt like a freak. Over the past year, a strict cardio regimen has reduced my girls to a 34 DD, but I still long for the old days: a perky pair no bigger than a handful. That being said, why Miss Hershey would intentionally strive for the “World’s Biggest Breasts” is beyond me. Read More »

Okay. I can’t believe these words are going to come out of my finger tips…

I hate shopping!

Okay, well, that’s not entirely true- I can’t say I hate shopping as in I never want to shop again or I hate the activity of shopping. I guess what I meant to say is every time I walk in to a store whether is be Saks or Forever 21 I want to scream: WHO DESIGNED THESE UGLY PIECES OF GROSSNESS?

I mean seriously I can’t be the only person who feels this way. But EW. What has happened to fashion?

Wasn’t it just a few months ago I was overwhelmed by all of the different fashion choices?

Waiting with gnawing anticipation while I debated what my spring style would be? Why is fall fashion making me sad, depressed and looking fifteen pounds heavier?

Now I step into a store and minus the pretty jewel tones that are in (which might I add is the ONLY thing we have going for us right now) everything seems to be designed for Nicole Richie in her 9 th month of pregnancy.

Maternity Wear is the new little black dress. but guess what? I’m not planning on busting out a buddha belly anytime soon. Read More »