The world is just too small. The more involved you get in any particular social circle or subculture, the more you realize that it’s all one big web.

As I’ve grown older, for example, I look around and see connections everywhere between my friends. Thank god Tom put that new “Mutual” friends function on Myspace. Now I don’t have to waste so much time figuring out how many of my friends that cute guy I met at the show last night already knows. Nonetheless, there comes a time in the lives of most women, provided she isn’t socially handicapped, where she realizes that she has to say:

“You’re cool, but I’m gonna go make out with your friend now.”

Of course, she doesn’t have to say it like that. In fact I would advise against it. So how do you tactfully reject a guy and then move onto his buddy? Read More »

On a particularly uneventful night my senior year, I went to the bar to grab a few drinks with some friends. We were sitting there (looking fabulous) minding our own business when a man approached. Personally, I am not a fan of thick neck hair or large ears, so I turned away and gave my cocktail some much needed attention. It seems that, in the throws of serious intoxication, one of my friends seemed to be quite taken by this man.

She chatted with him, had a few more drinks, and eventually (while running her hands through his thick, luxurious neck hair) leaned in close and whispered, “I think we are gonna go.”

After spitting Apple Martini all over the unsuspecting male perched on the bar stool beside me, I attempted to gather my thoughts. Here was one of my closest friends, someone I care deeply about, making one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Sure he looks good now (though I can’t fathom what she thinks she is looking at), but what is my friend going to do in the morning when she rolls over and finds Chewbacca in bed with her? I couldn’t possibly let that happen; it could scar her for life.

So, I did what any good girlfriend would do: I told her that I had to puke and made her take me home, leaving Furry McElephantEars to fend for himself. Read More »