You know how it feels really sexy and naughty when you sidle up to a cute bartender and order a Sex on the Beach?

Well, it does.
It feels sexy and naughty.

Anyway, you can recreate that feeling when you throw your own sexy party and act as bartender.

Here are a few sexy-sounding drinks to serve to your hottie brigade of guests. Make sure to giggle annoyingly when they order.

Orgasm
1/2 ounce Vodka
1/2 ounce Amaretto
1/2 ounce White Creme de Cacao
1/2 ounce Triple Sec
1 ounce cream
Shake with ice and enjoy.

Tap That Ass
2 ounces Alizé (1 ounce red, 1 ounce yellow)
1 ounce Hennessy
a little cranberry juice
a little soda water
Pour the Alizé and Hennessy over ice. Top it off with the cranberry juice and soda water to taste. Read More »

When I think about the perfect summer night, a few scenarios come to mind. Some of them I can’t print here, but one of them has to do with a porch swing (anyone got access to that in NYC??), a nice breeze with a hint of lavender (or at least a non-pee smell), and an ice cold cocktail.

If one of your fantasises includes the perfect summer drink, CC has come up with a list of A+ cocktails to make yourself or order at your favorite outdoor bar.

[You can read the last installment of Chasing Chastity here]

“What’s going on?”

“Where are you, babe?” I crunched on a vodka-infused ice cube and sipped the remains of my tenth cocktail.

“I’m on my way home for lunch. I have about two hours between classes, so I thought I’d grab a quick bite. You wanna make me a sandwich?”

“Uhhh . . . sure?”

I bolted from the couch and knocked the phone out of my hand. As I bent down to retrieve it, I tripped over the dog, and smashed my head into our coffee table.

Immobilized, bleeding, I drifted off . . .

“Glenn? Glenn? Honey?” Jason’s tie brushed against my nose and a few mumbling shadows lurked behind him. It turned out those ominous figures were a team of paramedics.

“Mr. Woodson, it looks like your wife was drinking at the time of the fall. We need to check for signs of a concussion. If she checks out, then she won’t need to come to the E.R. with us.”

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” Jason said. He turned away from the shadowy figures, and crouched near my face. “Jesus, am glad I came home. What would’ve happened to you if I hadn’t? Your face is covered in dried blood.” Read More »

In honor of the much anticipated return of The Hills (Tonight! 10PM! Woooo!), I have invited my lady friends over for a viewing party. Lucky for us, MTV has 10-minute commercial breaks, which give us plenty of time to whine, bitch and criticize the many things wrong with Heidi’s new face and boobs.

And what would a party be without some cocktails? Yes, I realize it is a Monday, but it is not just any Monday; it’s the return of my favorite most-awesome-show ever. Even the New York Times is covering it! Celebration is necessary.

I considered many different drinks for the festivities – Cosmos (so out), Martinis (too cliché), beer (not worthy of such an event) – but finally found one that is just right. A drink appropriate for the level of class needed for such a celebration, while also capturing the soul at the center of this show.

Below, the drink of The Hills, The Bitch Slap. Read More »

As anyone knows, college is a cesspool of unhealthiness. There’s the lack of sleep, the surplus of late-night eating and, of course, the dreaded alcohol.

Fortunately, for all you weight watchers out there, there are some simple and tasty low-cal cocktails that everyone can love without fearing the love handles.

Cherry Pom-arita — A measly 105 calories!
Ingredients:
1.5 oz. tequila
4 oz. Diet 7UP (or another diet lemon-lime soda)
1 tbsp. fresh lime juice
1/2 packet Crystal Light On The Go Immunity Cherry Pomegranate drink mix
ice cubes (for serving)

Directions:
Place tequila, soda and lime juice in a glass. Empty half of the flavor packet into glass, and stir well to combine. Pour over ice and enjoy! (Note: If you don’t like the Pom flavor, try any Crystal Light powder. They are all super delicious.) Read More »

Oh, Snickers! I love you.

You have everything that was ever good stuffed together and covered in chocolate. You are my favorite candy bar. You are even better frozen.

But alas, you hate me. You do! Why? Because of how many calories are in you. Because eating you will give me all the fat I need in one day.

And yet, you tempt me so.

What’s a girl to do? Make a shot that’s the closet thing to your fat-abulous goodness, that’s what.

Snickers Bar

• 1/3 Frangelico
• 1/3 Kahlua
• 1/3 Bailey’s Irish Cream

Take a rocks glass (bigger than a shot glass, smaller than a plastic red cup) and fill it with ice. Pour your Frangelico and Kahlua into the glass, and then “float” the Bailey’s on top.

The best way to “float” a liquor is to hold a spoon upside down and drip the alcohol into you glass drop by drop. It takes a while, but it’s worth it—plus, you look cool. Read More »

The 4th of July. No work, no worries, and a full day dedicated to barbequing and relaxing. I can think of no better way to celebrate independence from our current best ally than sitting on a back porch (or fire escape, whichever suits your needs) and drinking a nice cool glass of something alcoholic.

Have I got the perfect girly cocktail for those 4th of July needs. It’s chilled, fruity, and when served with blueberries and a hint of whipped cream, it’s patriotic.

Watermelon Mellow

• 8 cups diced watermelon (about 1/2 of a small watermelon, plus slices for garnish)

• 8 ounces lemon vodka (make sure it’s chilled)

• 7 ounces simple syrup*

• 1 can coconut juice

• 1 lemon

Put your diced watermelon in the freezer for 30 minutes. Afterwards, put all the ingredients in a blender and mix until smooth. Read More »

What is the deal with bar-linger-ers? You know who I am talking about- those inconsiderate jackasses that absolutely refuse to vacate the bar area once they’ve been served- leaving you with no other option but to hoover over the service bar, only to be growled at by the pissed-off waitress picking up her order. How long could it possibly take to get a f@*%ing drink?

I have absolutely no patience when it comes to my drinking time. Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got me some drinkin’ to do.

Fortunately for you and me, I came across some very useful tips @ wikihow.com - that are certain to make your drink ordering experience much more pleasureable. Take a look.

1 Get to the bar. In a heaving sweaty crowd that is three or four people deep, the critical thing is to seize any opening, no matter how small, and claim it as your own. It’s a three step procedure:

* Snake your hand through the heaving throng until it touches wood. Getting your hand on the bar top is like staking a flag in the ground. Once you’ve done it the territory is yours.
* Draw your body in at right angles to the bar, through any space that opens up.
* As soon as someone moves away, turn your body flush with the bar, with both hands planted on the woodwork. You are now in the pole position.

2 Get noticed. You need to catch the nearest barkeep’s eye as soon as possible. Use everything at your disposal to make an impression. Smile, look approachable and keep your impatience to yourself. It may also be possible to “catch the bartender’s eye” with money (see Tips). Follow the barkeep’s actions closely till you catch his eye.

3 Watch for the critical moment. After he has given change to the person he’s just served, the barkeep’s eyes will flick up briefly looking for the next customer. If he looks at you immediately start saying your order.

4 Make your move. Raise your hand, open your mouth slightly and lean forward a touch. The millisecond the barkeep glances at you, call out your order in a loud, clear voice. Say you’re ordering four drinks. Hold up four fingers or say “I’ll need four…” and then name them all.

5 Tip generously. If you are planning a whole night’s drinking, smart tipping will ensure prompt service on future orders.

Read the article.

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