I don’t know why, but over the past few months I’ve heard some seriously piss poor covers of Rihanna’s 2007 Summer jam, “Umbrella.” For some reason, reality show contestants have been bastardizing the popular ditty and dragging it to the place where all good music goes to die a painful, unfortunate death.

Last night’s America’s Got Talent contestants, The Taubl Family, played a haunting rendition of Umbrella…at least as haunting as a Christian Family band from Connecticut can get.

And how could we forget Coffey, a contestant from the latest season of Nashville Star. He dedicated the song to his daughter, a great sentiment, too bad it sucked so bad. He scats, he salutes, he beatboxes, he yells at the crowd and he does Lamaze style breathing into the microphone. Please people, watch at your own risk. You’ll need an umbrella to protect yourself from the sh*tstorm that is his performance.

Word to any and all future reality show contestants: Back off Rihanna! Why don’t I ever hear anyone covering Sisqo? The Thong Song won’t remix itself people!