Alright, I have a confession. My name is Jen, and I’m a Mountain Dew addict. It’s my drug. It’s my euphoria. It’s my baby blanket of comfort and warmth and all-is-well-in-the-world. And right now, I’m sitting with a two-liter bottle cradled in my lap like a lime-green toddler.

I know what you must be thinking. EVERYONE has their weaknesses. But mine’s a little out of control. Sure, some people cross the street for Starbucks instead of Dunkin’ Donuts. Sure, some people can’t make it through a bad day without a pint of the gooiest, most-fattening Ben and Jerry’s flavor (uh, did you know our favorite boys now make Cake Batter? Yeah, I know. Look out waist-line, plus-size ahoy).

But do they base their entire college existences around their indulgences? I think not. Read More »

Ask me if I think New Kids On The Block can make a comeback, and I’ll tell you it’s about as likely as those 90’s snap bracelets (which were banned in my elementary school because kids whipped each other bloody with them) showing up in a display case at Barneys.

But of course, like most things in life, my assumption would be wrong.

PEOPLE is reporting that rumors of a New Kid reunion are growing, and the once defunct NKOTB webpage is back up.

“The New Kids are coming back” a “well-placed source,” told the magazine. “New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together.”

As cool as I thought the band was when I was 10, I can’t say I’ll be as enthusiastic about their sound 14 years later. I mean, when I was 10, I also enjoyed showering myself in glitter and wearing giant t-shirts with the Coca Cola polar bear on them.

Besides, the oldest member of NKOTB is pushing 40. 40. Is a 40-year-old man really going to sing the songs of prepubescent lust and angst, and expect the world to listen?

Laugh is more like it. Laugh and throw snap bracelets.

• What are the top 10 foods to top with bacon when bacon goes with everything?

• Looking to waste time on the internet? Is that question as stupid as the bacon one? Eh, just waste your time here!

• Coca Cola is evil. But only in Russia.

• The eternal war wages on! Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?

• This guy’s even better than the real Santa.

• So now when your little brother won’t stop making you play Rock, Paper, Scissors you’ll know how to shut him up.

So, remember Vulva?

The questionable demand to smell…questionable is apparently, alive and well. In addition to smelling like a random va-jay, we can all spritz on something quite the opposite.

Thanks to Tom Ford, now we can emit the scent of a man’s crotch! Mmm…

Imagine waking up, taking a shower, feeling refreshed and ready for the day–but not before spraying on a little eau de crotch! Man, designers can make anything trendy.

But that’s not the only foray into fragrance Ford has made. If wanting to sniff genetials all day isn’t enough for you, it seems as though Ford’s also released a scent reminiscent of, get this, cocaine.

If anything, buying a 50 mL bottle of his new “Black Orchid” for $165 is way cheaper than importing the real thing from Colombia. Perhaps it’s the perfect scent for the coke-head gone clean! Read More »

Energy drinks.

Most of us have tried them, and some of us have tried them all. Every week another choice seems to pop up, promising everything from a little “oomph” enhancement to a metabolism increase to an “illegal” amount of taste.We swallow them down because we want the boost, not because they taste anything near good, many of us foregoing coffee for a chemical concoction because of it’s supposed higher caffeine content.

Not to disappoint you, but the amount of stimulant in that sugar-and-piss liquid may be lower than its advertisers would have you believe. Read More »

“Mom!” Paris Hilton is reported to have shouted when the judge ordered her back to school, “it’s just not fair!”

Celebrity moms are everywhere these days, from Kathy Hilton giving TMZ an hour by hour update of her daughter’s recent jail time, to Dina Lohan—aka the “Orange Oprah”, aka A Horrible Role Model—exclaiming to Entertainment Tonight that she goes out and parties with her daughter.

It’s not just famous moms and daughters who are spending more time together. A recent article in the New York Times reports “social, demographic and technological changes have made it more common for adult daughters to keep their mothers’ apron strings tied tighter — and for longer,” say researchers who study the transition into young adulthood.

Cell phones, the internet, even AIM are becoming common ways for daughters to talk to their mothers, allowing a connection much more prevalent than ever before.

“There is a higher level of dependence,” Vivian Gadsden, a professor at the University of Pennsylvania Graduate School of Education, explains in the article. “In that way [young adults] are very much a product of this period in our history.” Read More »

She said no to rehab. And apparently also to food.

I’m not Amy Winehouse’s biggest fan. Not because I don’t think she’s talented—I do—I just don’t get her. I don’t get anyone who’s famous and then misses gigs and seems genuinely uninterested in the fans who gave them that fame. She’s a little too weird for me. But I figured the baby-who-hasn’t-eaten-for-weeks look and her huge hair was a thing she had cultivated for a while, a trademark. Part of her essence.

I figured wrong.

It seems like Ms. Winehouse was completely normal looking a few years ago. Buxom, smiling, basically tattoo free, and clean. She looked cute and friendly. Well fed. In no need of rehab.

Then something happened. Not being a Winehouse scholar, I have no idea what that something was. Massive amounts of drugs? Read More »