You date, you learn. And you’d think that the people you date will just vanish of the face off the earth, because it’s only polite, right? You dealt with the waves of nausea and anxiety during the end-phase, and so they should bother you no longer.

“Should” being the key word.

I’m a fan of amicably parting ways, sure, but when you pointedly don’t is the guaranteed time that son of a bitch will come back to haunt you. So as a preventative measure you weed them out. You try to be proactive and delete them from your phone—number, email, all of it, and even those text messages and voicemails you like to listen to.

Have faith, you’ll find a new distraction, let down your guard because this one’s different, and the cycle can repeat itself all over again. Joy. In any case, you make moves and move on, and the ex, or pseudo-ex, or whatever you called him is but a distant memory.

If you haven’t guessed by now, the weeding out can bite you in the ass. Please, dear readers, learn from my mistakes. Read More »

[In this week’s installment of G.W.W.E (Guys We Want to Eff), we are climbing into bed with Seth Rogan.

What? You don’t agree?

You may not have noticed him in Anchorman, or remember him being in The 40 Year Old Virgin, but, come on, you didn’t wanna eff him in Knocked Up? Rogan is even starring in “Zack & Miri Make a Porno,” which obviously means he is 100% effable.]

I have never told anyone this before, but after I saw Knocked Up with my (now ex) boyfriend, I was totally turned on. Weird, right? I mean, the thought of having a baby totally freaked me out, and seeing that baby come out of Katherine Heigl’s va-jay totally grossed me out, but I couldn’t keep my hands to myself the entire way home.

And then I realized why: I totally wanted to eff Seth Rogan.

He’s not the type of guy you’d drool over at the bar, (in fact he’s more the type of guy that smokes pot in the corner), nor is he the type your mom would necessarily love to have over for dinner. He was the dorky guy in high school who watched as all the taller, hotter dudes (without the Jew-Fro) got all the girls.

But that is why we love him. Well, that and the fact that he is just really effing hilarious. Read More »

It’s rainy. It’s windy. You haven’t seen sunlight in days, you didn’t do so hot on today’s pop quiz, and you really don’t feel like reading about the Enlightenment for history class. What better way to beat the dreariness and procrastinate than by having a comedy movie marathon to boost your spirits and make you laugh?

When fall settles in and it’s not as much fun to walk through campus on a chilly, dismal day, grab a bunch of kids from your hall, pop some warm, buttery popcorn, and veg out in flannel pj’s and sweats. You’ll feel better, you’ll have fun, and best of all, these movies sure as hell beat anything that sprung from the Enlightenment! Read More »

Hello CC readers! It is that time of the week yet again, where new DVDs and new CDs hit store shelves and you can nab em up for a fun night in, or a pre-party dance party!

I hope you all got your paycheck because the list this week is enticing. Ignore the recession and that “budget” you set (where all funds go to Coors and clothes); go ahead and splurge this week for a new CD or DVD, espesh my pick of the week:

The Happening (!!!)

I have loved M. Night Shyamalan films since The Sixth Sense, so obvi his latest DVD is a must-have.

Not a fan of M. Night’s crazy flicks? Don’t worry; here are a few other DVD releases to pick up this week:

You Don’t Mess With the Zohan (Adam Sandler as an Israeli fighting hair stylist? How could that not be awesome?
30 Rock: Season 2 (The perfect fix until the new season starts!)
Now for some serious tune-age. While I wish I could put every new release from every genre, there isn’t enough time or space. Here are some of the highlights: Read More »

Not gonna lie: Thursday nights have really sucked since our two favorite shows left us at the beginning of the summer. Whereas we used to spend our Thursday evenings watching TV with great friends and great snacks (Oreo Cakesters….mmmmmm), we have been forced to [sigh] do things all summer long. Like read books and workout.

Thank God TV has returned. And not just one show, but all our shows…in a single week!

Tonight The Office and Grey’s Anatomy (2 hours!) are coming back and we can’t wait. If only we could remember what the hell happened the last time we watched either show. We figured you were having the same issue too, so we hopped on Google and found all the info you need to get right back into the drama and hilarity of your Thursday night lineup. Read More »

So, the Emmy’s are on tonight? I had no idea! I guess I should stop fast forwarding through the commercials on my DVR and watch some live TV for once.

Everyone else in the world is probably super geeked to see who wears what down the red carpet, but we are more interested in seeing what kind of crazy sh*t Tyra Banks does. (Editor’s Note: That bitch is crazy.)

And if Alec Baldwin finally gets that Emmy he so blatantly deserves. (Seriously? Is Monk really that good of a show? Why does Tony Shalhoub keep freaking winning!?)

And, ok, we also can’t wait to see the good and bad on the red carpet. We actually kinda live for that stuff.

The show is gonna be a bit different this year; there will be no main host (even though we were totes rooting for Joel McHale) and instead they are rounding up their nominees for best Reality Show Host to run the show. What happens when Heidi Klum and Howie Mandell work together? I guess we’ll find out.

But enough about all that; we want to know who is gonna win! (But only in the comedy competitions cuz we don’t really watch any of that other stuff.) The CollegeCandy team is definitely on team 30 Rock, and we will be eating our popcorn, drinking our beer and pumping our fists for Tina Fey all night long.

What about you? Which show do you think the funniest on TV?

I consider myself an equal opportunity dater: non-discriminatory and always up for a new challenge. That’s not to say this hasn’t gotten me in trouble. Among those ranks, friends, can be filed a character I shall refer to from here on out as The Comedian.

Initially, this adventure was appealing for a variety of reasons, not the least of which were my love for funny men and an awkward crush I may have on Jerry Seinfeld. Who doesn’t enjoy laughing? What could be better than someone who’s a walking source of amusement? And what a conversation piece, right?

This was a fantastic idea in theory. I met the comedian at a comedy show, naturally, where all these people hang out if you’re in the market, and our first date was the following day. And so, he became a promising prospect.

Amusing was a great adjective for this guy. He dressed like a little kid whose parents gave him the go-ahead to pick out his own clothes for the first time. He didn’t have a real job but went to a good school, didn’t have gigs but called himself a comedian… the paradox kept me intrigued. But the conversation started to get a bit exhausting. You can only spend so much time judging whether a bit is funny or not, if you get what I mean. A great deterrent to this, in my mind, was to hook up.

And this is where the joke ends. Read More »

Even though I heart TV, my favorite part of a show is always the blooper reel.  When other people laugh, I laugh, and it’s always a riot to see the true personalities of actors as they strain to keep their faces straight.

The Office is already one of the funniest shows on television, so in theory, their blooper reel should be one of the funniest ones ever made, right?

Right.