Alright ladies, we’ve got to talk. This Ugg boot thing is getting out of hand, and it needs to stop, now! These disgusting excuses for footwear are killing your sex appeal, style and any pretty much everything that is good and right in this world.

Before you know it, every college dude everywhere will have to take Viagra for the rest of his life just to get it up because of prolonged exposure to the damn things. And there’s nobody to blame but yourselves.

Ugg boots have been around for years, and have recently become a solid staple of the female college student’s outfit, across the country. The question that we as guys have is, why the hell do chicks continue to wear these horribly unflattering footwear?

From what I gather, they are extremely warm and girls insist that this is the only reason they’re wearing them- but that doesn’t mean they don’t look freakin’ stupid. And it also doesn’t explain why girls want to wear them in balmy weather. See, if you’re cold all the damn time, there’s probably something wrong with you and you should see a doctor, not a shoe store clerk… Read More »

I don’t know when or why it happened, but some time in the last few years people started popping up all over the place wearing orthopedic shoes. Brightly colored, rubber orthopedic shoes. And then they started sticking little decorations on them.
And then, gasp, I saw them being sold at Nordstrom.

Which is where I learned that the shoes were called Crocs and, despite being the most horrifically ugly footwear since the Moon Boot, they were very popular.

“They are so comfortable,” my 30-year-old brother said after I gagged when I saw him wearing them.

Since when does the entire world give up fashion for comfort? Seriously, my grandma wouldn’t even be caught dead in those things.

Well, the….er….masterminds behind the Croc heard my complaint. Sorta. They have been working feverishly to expand their product into the not-so-ugly market and have now done it with….

Wait for it….

The Croc High Heel.

I really didn’t think it could get any worse than the original, but, alas, I was wrong. I don’t care how comfortable these things are, I would rather walk home from the bar with 2 bloody stumps than even try these things on in stores.

If you know what is good for you (and fashion as a whole) you will not give in to the crazies over at Croc. No matter how high the heel or the comfort level.

They’re hideous, but clearly Uggs aren’t going anywhere. I own and love them, and wear them regularly from November to March.

Practical as these babies may be for me, I cannot think of any reason why men should own them. I wouldn’t even bother arguing this point aside from the unfortunate reality that I’ve seen it, both on campus in the Midwest and at subway entrances in the city.

Guys are wearing the classic-style Uggs, and apparently seem to think that’s okay. I do not believe I am the only one who finds this shocking, appalling, and more than a little disgusting.

Maybe it’s because so many guys are anti-Ugg that I can’t wrap my head around the idea of original Uggs for men. The only saving grace for the brand is that they do make legitimate leather boots and shoes that don’t look like the stereotypical Uggs. This does not relate to the pet peeve in question. We’re talking the original pull-on shearling boots. That men just don’t need.

It’s as frivolous as a guy wearing Manolo Blahnik running shoes. Something just doesn’t quite add up. Read More »