Loading ...I don’t know why, but over the past few months I’ve heard some seriously piss poor covers of Rihanna’s 2007 Summer jam, “Umbrella.” For some reason, reality show contestants have been bastardizing the popular ditty and dragging it to the place where all good music goes to die a painful, unfortunate death. Last night’s America’s Got Talent contestants, The Taubl Family, played a haunting rendition of Umbrella…at least as haunting as a Christian Family band from Connecticut can get. And how could we forget Coffey, a contestant from the latest season of Nashville Star. He dedicated the song to his daughter, a great sentiment, too bad it sucked so bad. He scats, he salutes, he beatboxes, he yells at the crowd and he does Lamaze style breathing into the microphone. Please people, watch at your own risk. You’ll need an umbrella to protect yourself from the sh*tstorm that is his performance. Word to any and all future reality show contestants: Back off Rihanna! Why don’t I ever hear anyone covering Sisqo? The Thong Song won’t remix itself people!
So, I’m tired this morning. All that Democrat bashing
and baby hair licking at the Republican National Convention last night kept me up late. Since I can’t
get productive until this Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte
kicks in (yes, they are back!), I decided to peruse
the interwebs for awhile. And boy did I find a gem.
America’s Creepiest Family Band Wows Us With A Crappy Version of ‘Umbrella’
Let John Mayer Serenade You This Afternoon
John Mayer. Some people say he’s a tool — and maybe he is — but it’s kind of hard to deny that he has the golden voice of a slow-pop God. Even though it was cool to like him four years ago, I have to give the guy props where props are due and say that this is a luscious cover. So luscious I wish it was on iTunes so I could turn it up while I lie on my bed tonight and cry about my very own bad boy, C. Bale.
(the original video is here, but for some reason (John’s toolishness?) we can’t embed that one)
Candy Dish: John Mayer, Did You Make Out with Perez Again?
John Mayer + Perez Hilton = oddly intriguing
Pee like a dude…virtually
I hope ScarJo’s album is better than its cover
Wait no more to see your Johnny Depp lovechild
Bobby Brown: still crazy
The mother of all ‘yo mama’ jokes
Richard Simmons is amazing
Another reason I hate happy couples
Jeff Goldblum thinks you should buy a Mac
Would you let Obama call you sweetie?
Quickie: ScarJo + Tom Waits = Strange Decision
That’s right. Another actress with no known singing talent is putting out an album, and this time, instead of letting a 50-year-old man write her words and a computer sing for her, she’s going to do covers. 10 covers. From one artist.
Due to be released May 20th, Anywhere I Lay My Head will feature Johansson’s voice and Tom Waits’s music. Yes. Tom Waits. The guy who sounds like he eats rocks for breakfast and occasionally slides metal across trashcans (but who knows how to write a great, complicated lyric).
How many of you out there can picture Scarlett listening to one Tom Waits song, let alone 10?
I can’t. Besides, how can you sing a T.W song if the only hardship you know is being chased into the Chateau Marmont by paparazzi?
Ugh. Whatever. Money might not be able to buy you love, but it can sure buy a CD deal.
Mandy Moore Gets Herself an Umbrella
You know that Rihanna song you’ve been hearing all summer? The song which has spawned it’s own line of ridiculous rain gear? That song you want to hate but can’t quite deny the catchiness factor?
Well, someone else has reluctantly admitted it’s awesome.
Mandy Moore, one of those “normal” celebrities who doesn’t whore herself out or shove drugs down her throat, recently covered the pop hit of Summer 2007, doing it a cool, folky justice. Read More »
