Welcome the first of many recap parties for VH1’s Rock of Love 2. I’d like to thank you for reading this because it means that on some level, you share a love (whether open or closeted) for craptacular television.

But let’s get started, shall we?

Episode one is almost aptly named ‘Back on the Horse.’ Certain gossip blogs were kind of enough to post pictures of the contestants before the show’s premiere. Neigh. Is that the sound that horses make? It’s been a long time since pre-school.

I must admit that I was pulling for Brett in the first season. Despite the fact that Poison sucked and that he at times looks like a transvestite when he removes the bandana, I thought among the strippers in the house he’d find one with a heart of gold. Well, he did, but I digress…

In the beginning of the episode, Brett pulls up to the mansion and his hair looks like it was made in the Mattel factory. The girls don’t notice how unnaturally long or synthetic it is and cheer upon his arrival. Read More »

Every year, some of us are guilty of giving sh*tty presents. Maybe we forget a relative until the last second, maybe we really don’t like someone but feel obligated to buy something, or maybe we’re just selfish bastards who don’t like to spend money, but whatever the case, every year during this time, truly crappy gifts are wrapped and set under the tree or beside the menorah.

And then there are those of us who receive those crap gifts. Opening a package and instantly realizing A) this person doesn’t know us at all or B) this is the stupidest thing someone has ever wasted tape on is always a hard emotion to conceal, but because our mothers taught us to be polite, we do our best. We smile through the pain and secretly hope the receipt is still in the box.

Not quite sure if what you’re about to seal with a bow is a crap gift? Let CollegeCandy give you a few hints.

• Scented Candles: You’re not in junior high anymore, so this gift is no longer acceptable. Confused 12-year-old boys give the girls they think might be their girlfriends scented candles because they’re cheap and noncommittal. If you’re an adult, presenting someone with scented candles is the perfect way to start letting them know you don’t care.

• Clothes That Are Way Too Big: Look, when in doubt, buy a size smaller. No one likes opening a gift box and pulling out a sweater that looks like it could house a moose. Holding up a giant article of clothing not only makes us immediately feel fat, but decide everyone else thinks we’re fat too. Total. Depression. Read More »

When I lived in the dorms I was always looking for a way to make food preparation really quick. Also, in case you were wondering, the healthy factor wasn’t really an issue. Pickles for breakfast, yogurt for a meal, leftovers at midnight. If it was in the fridge, I’d eat it.

Then came weekends, when my hungover ass would stumble out of bed in search of aspirin, water, and food. I was craving a homemade meal. I usually got…like, Saltines or something. So leave it to science to come up with the best thing ever created when it comes to both eating and being lazy.

Spray Pancakes!

You guys, it’s like that spray cheese crap your mom would never buy because “it wasn’t real food”! It’s like whipped cream only you can chew it! It’s the future!

If you’re like me you probably want to see it in action, so here you go. Prepare to be amazed:

But on those hungover mornings, try not to mix it up with your Reddi-Whip…I imagine that batter isn’t good for aching stomachs.

You wouldn’t be alone if you thought that a modern, simplistic aesthetic was what was hot at the moment, however, you’d be dead wrong.

What is hot, you ask? Vintage. But not that 80’s crap you’ve been regurgitating for the last 5 years. Nope. Get ready for 1920’s vintage flair.

Needed:

• Beading and fringing
• Drop-waists
• Kate Moss for Topshop
• Short bobs
• Cloche hats

Could this be it? Are the days of babydoll dresses and tent-like silhouettes gone for good? Can we all finally find some dresses that will hug our curves and flatter our features? Is it finally acceptable to be dressed up and beautiful because - gasp! - you want to be? Read More »