August 1st. Can you believe it? Where has time gone?

Perhaps it’s time to stop blacking out/macking on totally unavailable men and start enjoying the summer days. Although, with all the crazy sh*t that went down this week (earthquakes? lumps? embarassing doctor’s appointments?) can you blame me?

Alcohol seems to be the best (and only) remedy for forgetting things I wish I never saw, getting over the fact that he didn’t call and, of course, my growing credit card bill. (I guess I should be glad I didn’t fork over the cash for that cosmetic surgery.)

Usually I would turn to music to get me through the tough times, but even that has been ruined for me.

With only 4 weeks left of summer, I better get crackin’ on finding a summer fling. It has been far too long since anyone has parked their beef bus in my tuna town. Yeah, I said it. I guess that’s what the weekend is for. Well, that and movie marathons.

College can be devastating — to your wallet, that is. Between rising tuition and textbook prices and the cost of housing (student or otherwise), more and more students are finding it impossible to get through college without amassing some serious debt.

And financial institutions know it, too. They create all kinds of products to target needy college students — student loans and credit cards being the most common. There’s a reason why banks and credit card companies practically throw money at college students, and it’s not out of a sense of altruism. They know that if they lend you money now, they will be earning interest on it for the next decade — at the very least.

So how to avoid getting screwed by moneygrubbing financial institutions? Bob Sullivan has some answers for you in his fantastic little book, Gotcha Capitalism. Although the point of the book is to expose the sneaky fees businesses hit us with every day, there are several pertinent chapters for college students: one on student loans, one on credit cards, and one on cell phones.

Since pretty much every college student these days has at least one of each of those things, Gotcha is practically a handbook for surviving college without burying yourself in debt. Read More »

A bachelor’s degree is a funny thing. Depending on your major, it’s either the equivalent of an extremely pricey receipt with a huge FINAL SALE stamp on it, sending you off to continue your studies, or it sends you to work. In either situation, the joys of the undergraduate lifestyle are mourned on almost a daily basis.

No more are the nights of frat parties and pregaming at seven A.M. for football games. The real world isn’t all bad, don’t get me wrong, but before you make that giant leap to becoming a legitimate person, take the time to consider what lies ahead.

1.) The phrase “I need” has likely lost its charm with your parents. Unless it’s food or some sort of medical emergency, they know damn well you’ll spend any extra money to supplement your happy hour four work nights a week. They also know you’re making money, and therefore, shouldn’t spend it if you don’t have it. This is never not depressing. You can only fake having to go to the doctor so many times before they realize you’re on your own insurance, and sadly, cute little dresses no longer qualify as “emergency” spending. Read More »

Starting college is arguably the best thing ever. So many new people, new classes, new ideas—it’s like an ocean of new things that you can’t wait to experience. It’s awesome.

But with all these new, exciting things, you are bound to get caught up in the fervor of college before you realize—FUCK, maybe I shouldn’t have done that. Fuck, I’ve screwed up. Fuck, I am sooo stupid.

Which is why, my dears, I am going to tell you all the things that made me drop the f-bomb time after time in hopes that perhaps you can learn from my many, many mistakes:

Don’t drink the punch. Read More »