Picture this: being able to control your partner’s sex toy during a steamy cyber hook-up when you’re a mile, or 3,000, away.

HighJoy.com and Sinulator.com made it happen. These sites not only offer sex toys to peak your pleasure principle, they now make it possible to connect these toys to your computer so that with the touch of a button, you can control your partner’s sex toy o’choice and send them into pleasure heaven. And vice versa.

Sinulator.com offers a package of all the software necessary as well as the ever popular “rabbit” vibrator for a mere $139.95. Simply install the software, name your toy, and you are on your way!

HighJoy.com offers similar packages.

As if this isn’t awesome enough, the remote can not only connect to your computer, it can hook to your palm pilot.

This is a godsend for long-distance relationships…and really horny people.

Ok, so basically, this Brinkley/Cook divorce thing is your typical Hollywood story. Two famous people are happy until one decides he’d like to have sex with 18-year-old girls. Only in America! Apparently now (according to the Today Show, really scraping that barrel) it’s come out that Cook also enjoyed his porn. And not just ‘Oh lemme see some 30 second clips‘ enjoyed. We’re talking $3,000 a month in subscription fees. He really, really likes porno.

The frustrating thing about the Today Show piece is that they were calling the segment ‘Cyber Cheating,’ and while, surely, Cook cheated, and indeed he didn’t just look at porn but also used (apparently, its hard to tell with all the ambiguous language) ’sex’ sites, which we assume are swinger hubs, porn shouldn’t really be considered cheating. Granted, three grand worth of porn is divorce worthy, based on irresponsible money management and creepy factor alone, but looking at porn isn’t cheating. And if it is, every guy with a connection to the Internet is cheating. Half of them are cheating right now!

Is cybersex cheating? Arguable, but we can lean toward yes. Cybersex and ‘cyber-flirting,’ while physically harmless, reveal that you aren’t getting something from the relationship you’re in. Read More »

I mean, I’ve heard of being afraid of intimacy before, but this guy takes it to a whole new level. This guy built a robot girlfriend.That’s right, a robot girlfriend. Dude was a 33-year-old virgin until he met (read: MADE) Alice, his robot girlfriend who includes a chatbox to talk through and a teledildonic device, which, I assure you, is exactly what it sounds like.

I’m sorry, but this is straight out of a Philip K. Dick novel. I find it really frightening that there are actual people who are so emotionally and sexually disfunctional that they need to build robots to have relationships with. Read More »

Has real life dating gotten you down? Is it just too hard to interact with other singles, or even your spouse, in reality?

Have you ever wished there was a “Massively Multi-Player Online Erotic Game” where you could pretend to be smoking hot and have lots of cyber sex?

Then let me introduce you to Erotasy Island.

Much more than just your average cleverly named role playing game, Erotasy Island dubs itself a “romantic virtual vacation spot” where players can amuse themselves with activities such as strolling though “a lush jungle garden” or dining “in an amazing volcano view restaurant” all without having to step foot outside their house.

For a monthly fee, users (sadly for all those love-deprived Mac users out there, it seems only PC computers are compatable) can “interact” with people all over the world, most likely creating and maintaining a scantily clad Greek-ish avatar and doing all the things online they only dream of doing in the real world (that is, if you dream of “dancing in a disco”…which most of us haven’t done since 1975).

Not being up on the latest role-playing information, I have no real idea how all of this virtual fantasy stuff works—but I can imagine, and my imaginings are very, very boring. Read More »

Reason 798 why the Internet creeps me out: (which is even weirder than reason 797: the government probably reading everything I’ve ever put on here), people not being who they say they are online.

Wired Magazine recently featured a story that is the mother of all mistaken Internet identity tales, and reads like some kind of psychotic Lifetime movie of the week. Stay with me now.

Thomas Montgomery, a 45-year-old husband of 16 years and father of two teenage girls was living a pretty uneventful life in upstate New York. After spending 12 years at the same boring job, something inside Montgomery must have snapped, causing the man to live a monotonous life no more—at least in cyberspace. Deciding to log onto the game and chat site Pogo.com as a “19-year-old marine” named Tommy who was getting ready to ship out to Iraq, stood 6 feet tall, and had a “9 inch dick”, Montgomery set out to live a double life.

And live it he did, once he began talking to a 16-year-old girl from Virginia named Jessi. Jessi fell in love with Montgomery’s Tommy, talking to him for hours at night and sending him G-strings in the mail. Read More »