So it’s Thanksgiving.

If you are single, that means it is a day to fill that lonely void with family, football, frosting-covered desserts. If you are in a relationship, that means it is time for some meeting of the parents, whether your boy is meeting yours, or you are heading home with him for the holiday.

You meeting his parents? You will do fine - moms always love their son’s girlfriends.
Is he meeting yours? Well, that is a whole different story.

Many of us don’t think much of this moment; we just want our parents to meet the new dude in our lives. But to guys, meeting the parents is huge. Momentous. Monumental. OhMyGodSheWantsToGetMarried!!!

At least that’s what I gathered from my ex boyfriend who ran to the hills when I invited him to my parents’ for dinner. I thought maybe he didn’t like burgers, but as one of my male advisors explained, the meat was the least of his problems. It was the dinner guests that were the real issue.

Why is it such a big deal? Why can’t guys just man up and handle a free dinner? Let’s see what a guy had to say… Read More »

Because my college career will be drawing to a close soon, my mind is winding its way towards that point in my life when I will no longer be a carefree college student. I will be a— what do they call it again? A grown-up?

In that same frame of mind, I’ve been looking at my so-called grown-up friends to see how their lives are different from my own, searching for things that would tell me when I’ve become one of them, or if maybe -gasp- I’m already there. Here is what I came up with.

5 Signs that you are now entering Adultsville:

1. Bills. Gone are the days of blissful ignorance as to how the lights stayed on at home or the hot water kept running. Now those infuriating little statements just keep slipping through the mail slot. Phone bill, gas bill, waterworks, eating away at your paycheck- your new pair of shoes! It was a lot more fun when you had an allowance.

2. Your parents are asking you to drive them places. You thought it was your ticket to freedom when you got your license, huh? Wink, wink. Mom and Dad were just waiting for the day when they wouldn’t have to take you anywhere and you could start chauffeuring them around. Now it’s, “Honey, can you take me to the doctor’s on Monday?” and, “Oh, could you stop by the grocery store after work and pick some things up for me?” Don’t forget doing someone else’s errands: “Your sister’s done with soccer practice at 6.” Some kind of freedom. Read More »

To me, (to most people I think..) meeting the parents is a big deal. If I actually like someone enough, if I actually foresee a guy being in my life longer than a few dates, then maybe at some point I will bring him to my parent’s house and subject him to my family.

I think giving your significant other a heads-up of things to avoid before the grand introduction is the right thing to do. (I.E. wearing that OSU Beavers t-shirt is a bad call, and under NO circumstances ask my dad about his TV.) And I would like to assume this philosophy is a common ideal - the whole wait until you are sure someone is decent and going to be around for a while before you dive into “the family introduction”, and give them a short prep-course before the big event.

But, if I were to assume that I would be wrong.

This weekend I was completely blindsided by an impromptu Meet the Parents. And by impromptu I mean, my current gent and I were (unbeknownst to me) 15 minutes away from from his parents house and he suggested we stop in to “pick something up.”

Meet the parents?? This was a bold strategy considering we have only been dating a few weeks, and as I glanced at my reflection in the mirror and then looked down at my outfit, my nervous panic of the potentially “big step” in a relationship was dwarfed by the panic over my appearance. This was not an appropriate first-impression-look I had going on.

I am a person who takes first impressions very seriously. Ideally, when meeting the parents I like to have ample time to prepare; actually wash and style my hair, put on some make-up (not too much of course), and pick out a respectable outfit (maybe a nice cardigan…). Basically I like to make sure parents don’t look at me in horror and wonder if their son needs an eye exam, which I am sure is the exact feeling my new guy’s parents had after one look at me. Read More »

When I am not out slutting it up, I tend to spend my evenings alone watching TV, reading books and – to relieve a little stress – playing out some super sexy scenarios in my head. I crawl into bed, get under the covers with my favorite toy and imagine myself in the place I’d rather be; the man I’d rather be with.

I find sexual fantasies to be both extremely liberating and enlightening. By opening myself up to any possibility – mostly things I would never do in the flesh – I learn a lot about myself and what turns me on. I can act out entire scenarios in my head and prepare myself for new situations that may arise sometime down the road. And, of course, I get to do something a little naughty with people I would never have the opportunity to be with in real life.

Like the dad of the kids I babysit for. I know that fantasy is as cliché as they come, but there is something so sexy and forbidden about that bond between babysitter and dad. He is sexy, smart, funny, and adorable with his kids. I know it’s so wrong, but I can’t help but wonder what it would be like to have him drive me home, kiss me, then take advantage of me in the back of his Mercedes. Read More »

I love my dad. But I hate shopping for him. He’s a fabulous man, but has picky tastes and isn’t exactly interested in the typical manly activities. If your dad is like my dad, he doesn’t play sports, nor does he watch them. You won’t find him on the golf course. He doesn’t spend a whole lotta time fishing. And he isn’t going to be caught dead playing any sort of video games.

Every time I look at a Father’s Day gift guide, I’m inundated with presents I know my dad wouldn’t be interested in. Sometimes I’m at a total loss for what to get this most important man in my life. If you’re in the same boat as me, take a look at my list of gifts every dad can enjoy, no matter what his hobbies might be:

1) Of-the-Month Clubs: These are my favorite go-to gifts for dad. Why? Because there is something for everyone. My dad’s a big foodie and when I got him the cheese of the month club, he went wild. He’s also a grill master so the year I got him the rub of the month club (yes, as in spice rubs for meats), he was more than happy. And beer of the month club? You just can’t go wrong with that (unless your dad doesn’t drink, and then, I do not recommend it).

Other of-the-month clubs that could make your dad love you forever (um, not that he wouldn’t anyway) include bacon of the month club, cookie of the month club, and ice cream of the month club. Of-the-month clubs are great for us gifters on a budget because they offer lots of options. You can usually get a membership to the club for anywhere from 3 months to the whole year. Read More »

So I just got back from three very long days of vacationing with my folks.

I mean, VERY long.

Here’s the thing: it totally sucked. I mean, I love spending time with my parents. I do. We get along very well. But three days of touristing in some random little rural town without any break from my parents EVER just isn’t my idea of a good time.

So here are a few tips that I wish I knew before I went. Good luck, you poor brave souls.

(1) Insist on having at least a little say in the location.

Okay, we went to this town in upstate NY (5 hours from their house, 3 from my apartment) for seemingly no reason. When I was informed, I did not question. Foolishly, I said instead, “Whatever you guys want.” Fatal mistake. You see, my mother decided that we just HAD to go see this giant kaleidoscope. Yes, that’s right: apparently, the basis of this trip was a giant kaleidoscope.

Anyway, we finally get to the stupid thing and they take one look at it and my dad says, “I’m not paying 10 bucks a person for this!”, my mom says, “I can’t lean on this thing for 7 minutes!”, and next thing I know we’re back at the motel trying to figure out what to do for the next three days. Read More »

You may have already heard that Clay Aiken has impregnated someone.

No, not that way. Come on.

Aiken has artificially inseminated his “best friend” and producer, Jaymes Foster, who is in her late 40’s. Clay has even decided to be a father in earnest (no, not that way) and help raise the little tyke. The baby is due in August, which means that they’ve managed to keep this under wraps for a while now.

I would like to offer my congratulations to the future parents. And so, as a gift (for some reason, I wasn’t invited to the baby shower) I’m going to give Clay some advice on how not to horribly scar and embarrass his child.

1. Don’t Smile.

You’ve recently bought a new smile, Clay, but I’m sorry, adding huge ceramic teeth to an already startlingly creepy face is a bad move. If you catch your infant child unawares, he may think that you are a beaver monster and never trust you again. Read More »

This game is the sh*t! But more addicting than crack: you’ve been warned.

Maxim sums up basically the best gifts of all time for your Dad/Grad.

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I feel so bad for this guy. But not bad enough to find his situation completely hilarious.

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