I love the fantasy version of dating where everything’s shrouded in a pink mist and it rains sunshine and daisies on you and your perfect mate. Music plays when you kiss, you’re wined and dined, showered with gift boxes from Tiffany’s… and everything’s fantastic because, duh, you’re in love. Or what Dane Cook refers to in many a sketch as “lerve.”

Clearly in Fantasyland there is no concept of money, which is the primary reason I would LOVE to move there and live happily ever after with Christian Bale.

Let’s face it, ladies, the dating game has gotten out of control with expenditures. If you’re doing distance, travel just to see the other person will cost you a small fortune. Between that, the upcoming holiday season, birthdays, anniversaries, Hallmark holidays and oh, remember the generic DATES you’re going on? Yeah those. They’re all costing you.

I admit, there’s nothing more fun than splurging a little on a date-night outfit, heading to a fancy schmancy dinner, going away for a weekend, or getting tickets to a concert or sporting event your new fling would die to see; it makes you happy to make other people happy, I get it. But frankly, unless you’re one of the those lucky bitches who have Mommy and Daddy as your personal piggy bank, odds are you’re young and broke. And more than likely - unless you’re dating up - so is the other person. (Note: Dating up would be the ideal way to do it if money is your concern… I don’t attract these guys, but if you have advice on how to do so, please comment away below. PLEASE.) Read More »

Wal-Mart stabs the Spears’ in the back!

Mandy Moore runs to take care of DJ AM

This chick HATES Dane Cook

She’d rather date a 20-year-old and throw peace signs

Kaite Holmes uncensored

Oh J. Piven…we forever pledge our love

Would you get that back fat sucked off?

Da Govanator loved Mary Jane

George Michael…just say no to bathroom stalls!

Did Ashley FIRE Mary-Kate?

Buff up with Brad

I give this a 10 in the hot bod competition

Studying Creationism? Graduating just got harder for you

Brooke Hogan continues to dig that stupidity hole

According to GMA, curly hair blows

Breaking up, Dinosaur Comics style

Have you had too much sex?

The only way Katie Holmes can get into a movie these days…

U.S Women’s Gymnasts think China totally f*cked with them

No more chicken mcnuggets in LA

She hates the fans

Dane Cook is kinda right.

Hollywood is filled with some of the best looking men we’ve ever seen. But, it’s one thing to be good looking and quite another to have the ability to make an audience laugh. Having the whole package – even in Hollywood – seems like a rarity. While Will Ferrell can make me go into a fit of laughter like no other, as soon as that shirt comes off, (which it seems to do, in every movie) the whole attraction factor goes bye bye. Here are some guys who can make me laugh and break a sweat looking at them:

1. Ryan Reynolds. Now, besides the fact that he is off the market (engaged to Scarlet Jo!), this man is seriously adorable – and funny. Did you not see his abs in the hilarious movie Waiting? Or perhaps catch a glimpse of that killer smile?

2. Dane Cook. Not only is his stand up hilarious, but he’s got that dreamy guy-next-door-you’d-like-to-pounce-on look. Girls dig it. Guys dig it. I sure as heck do.

Read More »

Nice guys think they finish last. Assholes think they finish first. As Dane Cook would put it, “What about the whole middle ground here where YOU’RE AN IDIOT!?”

There’s more to it than good guys and bad guys. I’m sick of hearing nice guys complain that so many of us girls choose to date jerks. Screw that. It’s just that the nice guys, the REALLY nice ones, are disguised. “Nice Guys” are the ones hovering over your desk at work, telling you:

“You know, I’M A NICE GUY, but you girls only like dirtballs.” Read More »

• Roddick fans are none to happy about Andy’s new gal pal.

• Dane Cook was NOT funny for 7 hours straight.

• Shoulder pads are back with a vengeance. Say it ain’t so.

• Liposuction is no longer dumb.

• Britney Spears is a good mother.

• 2 Girls 1 Cup, 1 Wikipedia Entry.

Back in the Ye Olde Tinseltown days, most of the top-earning stars were stellar actors, singers and dancers, with none of the skills mentioned being a crutch to support a lack of talent.

Celebrities were, for the most part, blue-collar workers for the public, earning their fame by signing on to numerous films at once, rigorously training and studying various fields in the name of entertainment.

Fast forward 30-odd years and Flavor of Love’s New York is famous for being a outspoken bitch slathered in pancake makeup; Paris Hilton puts out an perfume ’cause, uh, why not; Sanjaya Malakar is praised for his “great spirit” while butchering the simplest of songs; Dane Cook sells out Stadiums with arm-farts and aimless crowd whooping.

The worst of it? These hacks not only suck at their day jobs: they find it necessary to plague other fields of entertainment by becoming entrepreneurs. Read More »

Coming October 26th is Dan in Real Life, starring Steve Carrell and…Dane Cook. Awesome!