Q: Is it taboo to date a guy 6 years older in college?

A: I honestly laughed out loud when I saw this question in my inbox. As anyone who knows me can tell you, I have a soft spot for the older men. When I was 19, I found myself newly single after a two-year relationship. After about a week of crying in bed and eating ice cream, I decided it was time to date–and I had eyes only for older men. For two years, I dated men that were anywhere from five to eighteen (that’s not a typo!) years older than me.

What did I learn? From 18 to 38, men don’t mature all that much. Relationship angst is relationship angst, no matter the age difference. Of course, maturity level of both parties is a huge factor. Without fail, every man I dated in that two-year period would marvel at how mature I was for my age. It’s true–I’m a bit of an old woman trapped in a 20-something’s body. Dating older men worked for me because even though I was still in school, I wasn’t living on campus and was no way involved in the college social scene. And I much preferred being taken out to a nice restaurant and enjoying a glass of (illegal) wine with dinner than doing a keg stand with my significant other.

In your case, six years can be a total non-issue; he’s only a few years out of college and may very well be on the same wavelength as you in terms of relationships and lifestyle. You’re also less likely to run into the Peter Pan complex that was present in many of the older guys I dated, especially the 30-something-musician-still-waiting-for-his-big-break type. Read More »

As I entered Borders on my lunch break last week, I did the usual browsing of new paperbacks near the front of the store. While I picked up and put down a couple chicklits and NY Times Best Sellers, I laid eyes on what would soon keep me from committing some serious dating faux-pas: Why Hasn’t He Called? How Guys Really Think & How to Get the Right One Interested in You.

I thought to myself, Hm, I’ve definitely asked myself that question.

So I paused, looked to my left, and looked to my right to make sure no one saw me taking interest in this self-help book (as if the bright pink cover wouldn’t be reason enough to stare at me) and picked that bad boy up to get a closer look.

How Guys Really Think & How to Get the Right One Interested in You.

I was intrigued. Thus begun the flipping of pages and the “Oh my god, that is so right on” moments. I was enlightened by the different types of guys out there us ladies may come across while on the prowl: The Player, The Iceberg and the Non-Player.

The Player. Need I say more? This guy’s only intention is to find a way to sleep with you. During your date, which apparently is likely to take place during the week at a not-so-special location, that will be his sole motive. We don’t want this guy. Read More »

So, maybe this is old news–but all news worth hearing should be renewed news. And though this may have been a huge topic of conversation for women over chocolate martinis, Sex and The City episodes, kleenex and post break-up mending, something tells me that (crying over what might have been), will never be old news.

Naturally, when you listen to a friend (and we’ve all be “the friend” before too) gripe over a man who is completely undeserving of her time, you want to say, “MOVE ON! YOU CAN DO BETTER!!!” and if you’re a good friend, you do say that.

Usually, she won’t listen and sometimes the truth of the situation is : He’s Just Not That Into You. Period. Thank God for the authors, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, who wrote this little gem.

I don’t know about you, but I always feel like a crazy, bitchy friend if I say those words, even if it’s true. Not because the words are harsh, but because 90% of the time when you have to tell somebody whoever they’re chasing, or dating, isn’t as “devoted” or hell, “interested” even, they usually already know deep down.

No one likes to acknowledge that they’re “unwanted“, because it makes them evaluate something about themselves; then goes the endless wheel of, “why isn’t he interested? Why did he say he’d call? Does he think I’m ugly? Does the new girl have a better body?? Did I have a piece of spinach in my teeth the first time we kissed?? WHAT HAPPENED??” WHY DOESN’T HE WANT ME??” Read More »

Why the hell would you call your ex?

You just broke up a few weeks ago!

Your friends are saying you broke up for a reason, right?

It’s better left this way.

Right.

Yea, sometimes you do break up for a reason. And sometimes, your gut tells you that you are better off without him, as scary as it may be to force yourself to move on in the scary world of single people.

But sometimes, it doesn’t feel right after a break up. Or you didn’t get that closure you needed to move on. Or, you just want him back, plain and simple, can’t live without him and don’t want to.

But in order to get him back, you gotta reach out.

That’s where the Post Break-up Phone Call comes in. Get ready for some uneasy awkwardness, stuttering and lots and lots of underarm sweating!

And that’s before you even pick up the phone.

I don’t know if it’s the website for desperate people everywhere, or a website for the ultimate romantics, but GetMyExBack.com has some tips and advice for people who are in post break-up limbo. Regarding the phone call, here are the highlights, which I’ll create my own takes on:

“Let the Dust Settle.” DO NOT attempt to win him back, like, seven minutes after you break up. Emotions are still flying. You need to give it time, because you never know - after a week or so, you may not even want him back at all! Maybe you finally talked to that hot guy in your class who always looked over at you and maybe that was enough to help you realize there are more guys out there. Who knows? But calling him too quickly could be baaaad, so don’t risk it. Read More »

She’s just too clingy.

Did you shudder? It seems like every time a guy utters that sentence, girls everywhere tremble a little inside.

It’s one of our biggest fears in a relationship. Are we hanging on too tightly? Are we calling too much? Should we pull back?

I could ask a thousand of those questions, but I won’t, because you’ve probably already heard them echoing in your head. Let’s just say clinginess tends to be a girl hang-up.

Knowing this and wanting to help (or just wanting to pretend he’s an expert on something) David Zinczenko, the editor in chief of Men’s Heath, recently wrote an article all about this relationship snafu, and how women can avoid it. While some people might think he’s finally cracked the code on relating, it seems to me that he’s just dolling out common sense.

The first thing Zinczenko urges women to do is not call their guy more than twice a day.

“You make more calls than that? The unspoken message is that maybe you don’t trust him, or don’t have enough to do yourself, or are relying too much on him for everyday satisfaction”.

Unfortunately, he has no advice for a situation I was recently in: a guy text messaging 7 times in one night.

The second thing us females should avoid? Joint email accounts. Um. Of course. Who in their right mind would force their significant other to share an email? Unless you’ve been married for ten years, this is the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. Email is free, people. No need to be frugal. Read More »