If my life was a movie, I’d look jaw-dropping-hot in a little black dress, and every college hook-up would involve a Freddie Prinze, Jr. lookalike leaning in for a kiss, while Six Pence None the Richer’s “Kiss Me” plays in the background. But, since my life is not She’s All That, my spit-swapping stories involve a lot of liquor, and a lot of regrets. There’s a Now! That’s What I Call Music CD out there with Aaron Carter’s “Aaron’s Party (Come Get It)” on the track listing. I know this because it made up the soundtrack of a one night stand a few years ago. Yeah, that’s how my sex life goes down.

Life doesn’t come equipped with an orchestra. If your sexcapades, like your iTunes, are on shuffle, here are a few songs you probably don’t want on your playlist.

1. “Dat Baby”–Shawty Putt feat. Lil Jon

With a chorus of “Dat baby don’t look like me,” and an opening line, “Dat baby ain’t mine… I’m sorry, bitch you heard Maury,” this jam is an instant libido-killer. The last thing a guy wants to hear as he’s sliding into home base is “You are NOT the father!” Sure, you’re using protection, but condoms aren’t 100% effective…paternity tests, on the other hand, don’t lie. Besides, no woman wants to find out that her cute college hookup won’t take responsibility if an accident does happen. Read More »

(Get it!? Fish Issue? A Fish-ue? HA!)

I have a love/hate relationship with David Beckham.

I love him because: he’s f-ing hot, he plays soccer, his abs are ridonkulus.
I hate him because: I can’t have him, he’s almost too perfect.

Not anymore! Becks has a flaw (besides the fact that he’s taken): fishy breath.

Is it weird that I love him more for it? I mean, let’s be honest - would you toss this guy out of your bed because of a slight breath issue?

We all know that David Beckham is too. hot. for. words. And we wouldn’t turn down a romp in the sack with Brad Pitt, Will Smith or Jason Bateman. But, there is something to be said for the nerdy boys. They are sweet, smart and totally under-rated.

I have always held a soft-spot in my heart for the underdogs, and techy, nerdy boys are no exception. So, I am bringing to you the hottest nerds out there.

These boys give nerdery a verrry good name.

Read More »

Fashion
God, Charlize Theron is hot. And I love what she’s wearing.

Hottie of the Week
David Beckham. I hate his voice but man do I love him nearly naked.

Babies Babies Babies
Jamie Lynn Spears gave birth to a baby girl. Please don’t disappoint me by giving her a non-Hollywood crazy name. I don’t want to hear this talk of you giving her a pretty, normal name like Maddie.

Can everyone stop blaming teen pregnancies on “Juno”? I’m sure that movie didn’t influence a group of Massachusetts teenagers to make a ‘pregnancy pact.’

Karolina Kurkova, probably best known for her Victoria’s Secret spreads, “shocked” everyone who saw her “love handles and cellulite” at fashion week in Sao Paolo, Brazil. Karolina apologizes to everyone for eating and for having a booty. Read More »

As I was driving in my car this morning, I was listening to my favorite morning show; none other than Z100.3. As Elviz, Carolina and the rest of the gang discussed one of their many daily morning topics, I became unusually enthralled with the topic of the moment: why American women prefer British/European men to our American guys. The guys on the show were asking women to call in and explain why they prefer the European blokes to the average Joe’s of the states.

The women’s responses were varied: some said they are more romantic, better looking, the obligatory “hot” accent and a few other examples. It got me thinking though; how different can they really be? I personally have never dated someone from a different country, being born and raised in the Tri-State area myself, but listening to these women go on and on about men they dated, fell in love with, married…made me wonder if there really was a substantial difference. Read More »

Celebdom is full of run-of-the-mill gorgeous people. We all fantasize and have our little lists of who we’d hook up with… but there are some that you just don’t talk about. Those famous people who aren’t exactly of the pre-Angie Brad Pitt reputation.

I have a list of celebrities I find attractive but maybe shouldn’t admit are attractive. These are not the Justin Timberlakes or David Beckhams, but instead, some questionable characters that I (secretly?) feel deserve some consideration:

Chris Brown. He is 18, and therefore I am allowed to judge him. He can dance. And I love that stupid “Kiss, Kiss” song, something I also am a little embarrassed about. I found his stint on the OC rather ambitious. He is kind of adorable.

Jon Stewart. At only 5′7″, he doesn’t meet my usual height requirement. But he’s hilarious. He’s smart. He played soccer at William and Mary. I love him. Read More »

• The Sixty One is set to rank music; breed pretentious jerks

• Is this newly discovered, endangered rodent adorable or freakish looking? It’s hard to tell.

• Hero alert! A 9 year-old girl drives her dying dad to saftey.

• ANTM Cycle 1 winner Adrienne Curry and Brady Bunch husband Michael Knight may be headed for seperation. As if this is shocking to anyone…

• Shopping + Strip Club = Pearl Street Mall

• Forbes creates a completely pointless list ranks the world’s most influential toddlers.

You could go to pbteen.com for a dorm room like this…or follow our time-tested advice!

It’s a dorm. Not an apartment, not a studio, and not a tiki hut. Keep that in mind whilst decorating.

In fact, one of my closest guy friends constantly mocks those girls who go all out on a simple dorm room, exclaiming, “GiRlzz! Letz do a BeaCH ThEmE! Lolz!”

That aside, it is your home, and your own personal residence for an entire school year, so it’s important you like it, want to be in it, and it’s presentable for guests at uh, any hour of the night.

So yeah, there are those crazies who have the money (and stupidity) to pimp out their dorm rooms, but what about you? What about poor, busted-my-ass-at-Ruby-Tuesdays-for-this-paycheck? you, who likely can’t afford a single Johnny Depp poster, let alone an entire room’s worth of decoration.

I’ll let you in on a little secret chickies, it’s all about the bargain shopping. And knowing where to find that. Read More »

“Victoria’s every move is documented by the paparazzi, but only our cameras have been allowed inside the world of what being Victoria Beckham is really like.”

Such is the advertising campaign for a new reality special set to air on NBC in mid-July. Victoria Beckham: Coming to America will air Monday, July 16, and center on the Beckham’s move from England to Los Angeles, California.

Now is the part where you ask me if I care.

And I tell you stoutly and resolutely that I couldn’t care less.

Like Katy, I am completely and utterly confused by Victoria Beckham—but I’m also confused as to why any of us bother with her. The chick was once in a pop group that was big for three seconds, after which she married an English superstar soccer player. Media coverage should probably have ended there—at least in America, where soccer isn’t as popular as it is abroad—but for some reason it has gone on, and on, and on.

Is anyone concerned about those three girly dudes from Hanson? What about the two other chicks from Destiny’s Child? No. Nobody gives a shit. Paparazzi aren’t staking out the doorstep of Jeff Timmons from 98 Degrees (you don’t even know who that is, right? Me either. But he was in the group. I looked it up). Read More »