Don’t get me wrong, I used to be the biggest A.C. Slater fan ever. My 8-year-old self was madly in love with his chiseled abs, buff arms, and trouble-making personality. I never did understand what he saw in that goody-two-shoes, Jessie Spano. I knew he could do better than her. People magazine agreed. Mario Lopez has been named People Magazine’s Hottest Bachelor of 2008.

People got a few things horribly wrong on their list. It is obvious that someone (or everyone) in the office was on the hippie hash when this list was being made. I mean, what ever happened to the good old days of George Clooney and Justin Timberlake? Not on the list this year. No, my friends. 2008’s list included these people: Read More »

So last week was truly the end of our television season, and off we go into the doldrums of summer programming. But first, let’s look back at the wonderful ways our favorite shows wrapped up.

Gossip Girl: I’m proud of the writers of this show for making some sort of reasonable denouement to the ridiculous things they put their characters through this season: Georgina got conveniently sent off to a reform school, everyone broke up, and they not-so-subtly planted the seeds for new couples.

I spent the hour deciding who I would rather want to be: Blair or Vanessa. Once Blair got on the plane with a smoking hot corporate flacky, my doubts were crushed.

How I Met Your Mother: Was anyone else a little disappointed by this episode? I mean, come on people, it’s the season finale, and I laughed out loud maybe twice. Proposal blah blah blah, car accident, whatever. The only thing that made me happy was Barney’s epiphany in full body cast. Robin and Barney as a couple would be the best combination ever.

American Idol: Some guy named David Cook won. Good for him. I didn’t watch a minute of this season, other than the clips of Andrew Lloyd Webber creepily coaching the male contestants. Read More »

Let’s face it, American Idol might have had a few suspect contestants (Sanjaya) and a few unsuccessful winners (Taylor) but, this seventh season, the show absolutely got it RIGHT. I have been following the season from remote Colombia and even from South America I know real talent when I see it. David Cook is it.

That said, this season has seen the best talent I have ever seen. Brooke, Jason, and Carly would have been just as deserving of the title. I am so pumped about this season’s show that, as a girl from Hawaii, I am very tempted to fly over to California this summer to check out the American Idol Top 10 Tour.

I can’t wait for Cook’s album and hope that the producers give him space to be just as original as he’s been all season. (Who would have thought this rocker could pull off Lionel Richie’s “Hello” and Mariah Carey’s “Always Be My Baby” within six weeks?) Don’t get me wrong, Archuleta is an extremely gifted 17 year old, but America should usher in this summer with a major celebration for getting it right this year!

David Cook, congratulations!!! You rock!

What the f*ck has taken over reality television these days? Specifically reality television inspired by music. These people aren’t creating art. They’re creating nausea. In my stomach.

If you were “lucky” enough to catch Tuesday’s American Idol, you know there was an epic performance given by America’s little country belle, Kristy Lee Cook.

Her song choice? GOD BLESS AMERICA.

Please, gag me. I’m all about “America” and whatnot but watching Cook’s whole blonde-cowgirl-in-Acrylic-nailed glory act, complete with cowboy boots and that sparkly All American Girl look, I would have bet a million dollars that the government paid her to do it.

Apparently, the girl isn’t as stupid as she looks, cuz now has every Republican and Religious Righty is gonna be eating sugar from the palm of her hand while wearing their cross necklaces and Nascar t-shirts. Amen.

Cheesy American flag graphics were splattered behind her like a bad Up With People set design (speaking of Up With People, how about little David Archuleta’s performance? I believe there’s also a spot open in Menudo that he could take), and the whole vibe was so bombastic I almost went blind. Read More »