You want nothing more than to slap your boss. And then to quit your job. You want to spit in your professor’s face. You want to tell your parents you’re joining the circus to make money for crack…JUST TO PISS THEM OFF. Today is the day you tell your best friend that those jeans DO make her ass look big because HER ASS IS BIG. You want to list off all of your exes to your guy who have been better in bed. That’s right. This is what I refer to as a “SCREW EVERYONE” day.

And they should never be spent without a soundtrack. So me and my Ipod went and made a playlist for these days.

“Spent on Rainy Days” BRIGHT EYES (Indie)
“Blueprint” FUGAZI (Punk)
“Gravity” DRESDEN DOLLS (Rock)
“Today is the day” MOROS EROS (Indie/Experimental)
“The Egg” SHINER (Indie/Alternative)
“The Other” ISIS (Experimental/Metal)
“The Never Aftermath” THE END (Metal/Ambient)
“In The Belly Of A Shark” GALLOWS (Punk/Rock)
“Complete and utter confusion” FEAR BEFORE THE MARCH OF FLAMES (Experimental/Rock)
“Set fire to the face on fire” THE BLOOD BROTHERS (Other/Punk)

So instead of taking your Screw Everyone day out on the people around you…why not just put on these songs and let out your angst the old fashioned way? You know…like a 14-year-old who just slammed her bedroom door in her mom’s face. And then locked the door. And then wrote “Screw EVERYONE” in her blog.

So, has anyone else noticed that dolls are getting really slutty?

First, the world had to deal with Bratz. Strange, big headed dolls with too much make-up and really skanky outfits. Dolls that—as far as I can tell—are totally aimed at creating 4th grade fashion disasters.

Besides making it seem cool to be so skinny your head looks like a watermelon, Bratz embody insipidness, sluttiness, and vapidness, limiting girls’ imaginations to taking their dolls to the “mall”, buying their dolls “stuff”, and seeing how many times their doll is mistaken for a hooker on the doll sidewalk.

Gone are the days when girls would be satisfied with a long, frilly pink dress for their dolls. Gone are the innocent one-piece bathing suits and “career” outfits. Now, thigh high stockings, tiny shirts, and skirts so short you can totally almost see plastic doll butt are all the rage.

Illustrating this disgusting theory even further is Barbie’s—or rather, Mattell’s—answer to the Bratz dynasty: My Scene Barbie. Read More »